Entries Tagged as 'You call that punctuation?'
Halloween was just a prelude, really —it’s Christmas that brings the real bounty of guilt-trip opportunities, often with a bonus side helping of irony.
To wit: Jaime in Canada says his neighbor (okay, “neighbour”) went totally Clark Griswold with his Christmas decorating this year, creating a sparkling extravaganza that is, Jaime says, “quite the treat for the eyes.”
But the best part of the display might be what stands in front of Santa and his team of reindeer — an ellipses-and-exclamation-fueled cautionary tale about the true meaning of Christmas…consumerism!!! (Take that, Tiny Tim!)
related: Who stole and vandalized a candy cane? Who stole the baby Jesus??
Tags: Canada · Christmas · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · holiday spirit · neighbors · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children? · you're like so going to hell
Our submitter spotted this amazing stream-of-consciousness manifesto inside a small tea shop in Hertfordshire, U.K. “I especially like the lack of punctuation, constantly shifting tone, and preachy generalizations,” she says. “Apparently it’s not enough to simply request that customers wipe their feet or use a trash can — it’s necessary to subject them to a generational guilt trip as well.”
related: That must be some damn good coffee…
Tags: "customer service" · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · kids today · now that's management · restaurant · U.K.
Before her husband left on his first military deployment, Sarah in San Diego sent out an e-mail to the whole family with info about how everyone can stay in touch while he’s away. To avoid any potential in-law drama, she even had her husband read and sign off on the e-mail before sending. What neither Sarah nor her husband took into account? The Uncle Paul factor.
Her husband’s Uncle Paul, Sarah explains, is a mailman/postman/letter carrier — whatever the correct term is. (Based on Uncle Paul’s reply, she says, “I’m clearly not up enough on the intricate etiquette of the U.S. Postal Service to know.”)
related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled
Tags: e-mail · exclamation-point happy!!!! · family · going postal · holiday spirit · Oops?
Shortly after moving in to her new place in Minneapolis, Emily was greeted by this example of that famous “Minnesota Nice“ on a neighbor’s door.
related: Your are welcome to our home
Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · irregular capitalization · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · shoes · spelling and grammar police
Lisa from Toronto doesn’t try to hide the fact that this note was, uh, not exactly undeserved. “On a long weekend in Grand Bend, my boyfriend squeezed into a parking spot which partially placed his front tires on the edge of someone’s lawn,” she says. But if Lisa and her bf lost any sleep over their vehicular faux pas — and I’m guessing they didn’t — it seems like this note, which Lisa called “amazing,” would more than make up for it. Okay!
Tags: actually totally reasonable · Clearly a non-native English speaker · double-entendre alert · exclamation-point happy!!!! · most popular notes of 2010 · Ontario · parking
Cait spotted this artful example of parental passive-aggression “in front of a very, very wealthy residence” in New York’s East Village. “I get that ripping up the flowers was a douchey move,” Cait says, “but this seems a little over the top.”
To which I’d add: Um, yes. (They had me at the first semicolon.)
Meanwhile, across the globe, another 4-year-old was given a similar learning experience. In Australia, however, they don’t bother beating around the bush.*
*Apologies. Bad pun intended.
related: To the person who stole my flower (sniff)
Tags: Australia · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · guilt trip · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · New York · rhetorical question · runaway run-on sentences · semicolon abuse · stealing · TL;DR · Won't somebody think of the children? · You call that punctuation?
Michael is a music teacher in New York, and one of his students, Aleks, a clarinet player with 15 years experience, recently moved to the city to start his master’s degree. “Coming from Ohio, he had no idea what he was getting into when practicing clarinet in his apartment in Queens,” says Michael. “Now he knows.”
related: Buskers & broomsticks
Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · most popular notes of 2010 · music · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats · Queens
You’d think, as Jen from St. Louis did, that this carefully typed message (from the public toilet at the Golden Gate Bridge), is indisputably good advice.
But as Kim observed while studying abroad on the Caribbean island of St. Maarten, there’s an exception (explosion?) to every rule.
related: Poseidon’s a pervert
Tags: bizarro spacing · CAPS LOCK · Clearly a non-native English speaker · toilet · toilet paper · unnecessary "quotation marks" · WTF?
Yup, says submitter Jeff in D.C., “that is the broken bike lock on top of the note.”
I’m imagining this notewriter totally whaling on that lock, rejoicing in triumph as the kidnapped bike is freed, and then, in a parting act of contrition, whipping out the Yorkie stationery, and I think the only thing more amusing would be if the cops showed up at precisely that moment.
related: Dear Bike Thief, I am very sorry
Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · bicycle · D.C. · nice stationery · stealing
Paul has lived in his apartment in Berlin for 15 months, but this note is the first time he’s heard a single complaint about his door. Especially annoying, Paul says, is the fact that it’s anonymous, “even though it could possibly have been written by only one of two people,” and that it’s written in English, “which most expats would consider an insult.”
Just another example of how — no matter smiley faces you sprinkle throughout — your oh-so-courteous anonymous note is probably just going to leave everyone more “pi**ed off.”
related: Wie bitte(r)?
extra credit: “Greetz” [urbandictionary.com]
Tags: Berlin · Clearly a non-native English speaker · comma diarrhea · door-slamming · neighbors · noise · opening/closing · pointlessly self-censored profanity · sad face · smiley