Entries Tagged as 'You call that punctuation?'
Upon moving into their new college house this fall, Danny and his roommates at Boston College received this delightfully punctuated welcome letter from their next door neighbor — delivered via U.S. Postal Service, no less.
I, for one, can’t wait ’til the Ben Affleck adaptation comes out. We’ll have a “late night beer party” to celebrate!
related: Passive voice abuse
Tags: alot · beer · Boston · CAPS LOCK · college life · crazypants · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · I'm telling on you! · kids today · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · noise · p.s. · passive voice · smiley · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks" · warning · You call that punctuation?
September 20th, 2010 · 46 Comments
Which is your favorite ode to replacing the roll?
Entry #1, from Baltimore?
Entry #2, from New Orleans?
or Entry #3, from Long Island City?
related: Scatological poetry slam
Tags: Baltimore · bathroom · ellipses-crazed · excessive capitalization · New Orleans · pure poetry · Queens · spelling and grammar police · toilet paper
September 13th, 2010 · 70 Comments
These two notes — both from Oregon — give me the urge to grab a gigantic fistful of napkins…and then noisily blow my nose with them. I mean, really. Wouldn’t a simple “Al Gore Knows” have sufficed?
(Thanks to Anonymous in Wilsonville and Brad in Albany for submitting!)
related: Your light switch has blue balls.
Tags: "customer service" · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · Oregon · restaurant · The Earth
Shortly after moving to Columbus, Ohio, Julie received a welcome-wagon visit from her new neighbors…in the form of a post-it note stuck to the side of her motorcycle. Her bike, which was parked on the public city street across from her house, had apparently disrupted the neighborhood’s unofficial parking “regimin.”
“I complied with the rules of their little microcosm,” Julie says, “but I also turned the note into an overhead, which was a real gold mine for the rhetoric class I was teaching at Ohio State.”
Adds Julie: “Incidentally, when parked perpendicularly, a motorcycle uses roughly 2.5 feet of street.”
related: I shoveled this spot. IT’S MINE.
Tags: Columbus · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · heart · irregular capitalization · motorcycles · neighbors · parking · spelling and grammar police
At Nat’s office in York, England, one of his coworkers has been trying to bully everyone into coughing up some cash for an (admittedly worthy) charitable cause.
In Nat’s opinion, however, her guilt-heavy fund-raising techniques might benefit from a little fine-tuning…especially given that all seven of those special “charity pens” were nicked from the office supply closet.
related: Starve on!
Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · a matter of taste · bar · confusion??? · guilt trip · Miami · MYOB · not wrong · office · office supplies · rebuttals · U.K.
These notes — the first from on office in California, the second from an office in Arkansas — both seem like they’re following the same not-quite-finished flowchart for acceptable office paper usage.
Really, you’re in for a scolding no matter what. And as our submitter Hannah noticed — in this bizarre exchange from the copy room at a school in Spartanburg, South Carolina — contrition only seems to further incense the office Paper Nazis.
related: Nothing fosters community like shared networked printers!
Tags: Arkansas · California · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · recycling · South Carolina
Nadia in Greensboro, North Carolina spotted this gem of a “you break it, you buy it” specimen at a local thrift store. “Apparently,” she writes, “Secondhand Punctuation Has Its Drawbacks? You Can’t Pick And Choose? You Have To Make Do With What You Have On Hand? Handwritten Notes Are Not Exceptions?”
The D.C. tourist trap that Amy visited took a less tentative tack with its signage, though I doubt the “four times is better than one” approach is any more effective.
These two stores, on the other hand, pretty much nail it with reverse psychology.
related: As Davy Crockett once said…
Tags: bad sales pitch · confusion??? · New Jersey · retail hell · reverse psychology · touching · unnecessary "quotation marks"
Spotted by Kelly at gas station somewhere between Los Angeles and Monterey, California: a prime example of why notewriters (and corporations) cannot live on spell-check alone.
related: Stupid is as stuiped does
Tags: California · Clearly a non-native English speaker · gas station · irregular capitalization · spelling and grammar police · toilet · You call that punctuation?
Though your attention might have drifted ever so briefly, I’d like to reassure you that the ongoing debate over which restrooms (men’s or women’s) are the foulest continues to rage on — and yes, it’s as nauseating as ever!
I literally received these two submissions — the first from an EMT school in Massachusetts, the second from a non-profit in D.C. — within minutes of each other. Mere coincidence? Or a cosmic clue from the Internet gods that it was time for a showdown between “Angulated Rectum Guy” and “The Queen of Diahrriah?” Okay, that was a gimme. The real question: who would you rather share a loo with?
Exhibit A) as witnessed by Josh in Fall River, Mass.
Exhibit B) From an anonymous bystander in College Park, Maryland
related: And you thought college students were foul…
Tags: bathroom · bold-underlined-caps · D.C. · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Massachusetts · obnoxious definition · office · shit · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · toilet
If you’d like to join a vigilante punctuation posse or a grassroots typography militia, Washington State might be the place for you.
In one Seattle suburb, for example, an underground group has targeted a certain “JS,” who sources say “has some serious control/micromanagement issues, and enjoys flaunting his power to tell people what to do a liiiittle too much. He also tends to find nasty ways to get revenge on people who contradict him.”
Elsewhere in Seattle, “office professionalism” seems to have no bearing on freedom of speech…as long as you use the right typeface, of course.
related: Completely valid rebuttals
Tags: "too inside fucking baseball" · apostrophe catastrophe · awk abbrev · Comic Sans Alert · Helsinki · most popular notes of 2010 · music · not-so-veiled threats