Our submitter and his wife in Loveland, Colorado used to work the night shift together, and they’d generally get home around 3 or 4 in the morning. “We did try our best to keep quiet,” our submitter says…but apparently their best wasn’t good enough for one of their neighbors. They never actually met this particular neighbor, but they did find this note on their door one night.

This note appears to be the work of the a non-native English speaker, so it’s not the grammar here that I’d like to draw attention to. Actually, what impressed me is what a perfectly clear picture this note paints of the writer’s mental state. ”I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY MIND!!!!!!” — complete with the six trailing exclamation points — does that not just say it all?

related: euphemisms of disturb

Emily in Richmond, Virginia says this note was recently posted in her apartment building, “right next to a note complaining about a) the tenants in the building that have parties and don’t clean up the beer that gets left in the hallways and b) the laziness of the dog owners in the building that don’t pick up their dogs’ poop.”

related: Wanna touch the baby?

“This was posted after the author cleaned the house which consisted entirely of her own mess,” says our anonymous submitter in the U.K.

Of course, when you live with multiple roommates, it’s always somebody else’s mess. (Or should I say…I’ts?)

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!

“I don’t even like cats,” our submitter in San Francisco admits, “but reading the note made me want to go inside to see what someone would be so inclined to steal.”

related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss

Alex and his wife, Kathy, have an 18-month-old son who, among other his hobbies, enjoys pulling off his socks and shoes at any opportunity. (Perhaps he’s a future marathon-running superathlete. Or, you know, a normal 18-month-old.)

Recently, Kathy took her son with her on a trip to the store in their hometown of Las Vegas (temperature: a bone-chilling 64 degrees). When she came back to the car, she found this helpful bit of parenting advice waiting on her windshield.

related: Oh, the Rancher and the McMansioner should be friends

As a Valentine’s Day gift to you all, I present you with this epic love story (which Teddie in Minneapolis discovered pinned to the bulletin board in his apartment building).

Teddie’s love note to this love note: “I love that this person (he? she?) used commas, ellipses, and possibly a semicolon, but no periods. I also love how the all-caps rant in the middle segues into a plea to be Myspace friends again with an offhand ‘anyway.’ Also, what happened to her dad?”

Oh, Charles. You are so SUPER ATTRACTIVE I can hardly help myself. Deseray doesn’t know what’s she missing!

related: perfect for each other

Noah in Richmond, Virginia spotted this earnest plea in the bathroom of “a funky little coffee shop” on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. “The sign was also on a bulletin board in the middle of the shop as well,” he says — “just in case the thief was avoiding the scene of the crime.”

And if you doubt Edie’s ability to get aggressive on your personal-art-piece-thievin’ ass, just wait ’til she catches you in the act. We’ll see how your bathroom art collection looks when she’s through with you!

(I’d like to imagine the follow-up note going something like: “Damn it, Edie, no one wants to see your ‘personal art pieces.’ For the millionth time…FLUSH!“)

related: Get your “nozzle” off my “hose”

An eagle-eyed substitute teacher spotted the work of this precocious young propagandist-to-be at a Pennsylvania high school. (Psst! Philip Morris? R.J. Reynolds? Are you paying attention?)

related: 2good 2b 4gotten