Entries Tagged as 'You call that punctuation?'
As a Valentine’s Day gift to you all, I present you with this epic love story (which Teddie in Minneapolis discovered pinned to the bulletin board in his apartment building).
Teddie’s love note to this love note: “I love that this person (he? she?) used commas, ellipses, and possibly a semicolon, but no periods. I also love how the all-caps rant in the middle segues into a plea to be Myspace friends again with an offhand ‘anyway.’ Also, what happened to her dad?”
Oh, Charles. You are so SUPER ATTRACTIVE I can hardly help myself. Deseray doesn’t know what’s she missing!
related: perfect for each other
Tags: ex drama · Minneapolis/St. Paul · p.s. · runaway run-on sentences · spelling and grammar police · spurned lover · TL;DR · WTF? · xoxo · You call that punctuation?
Noah in Richmond, Virginia spotted this earnest plea in the bathroom of “a funky little coffee shop” on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. “The sign was also on a bulletin board in the middle of the shop as well,” he says — “just in case the thief was avoiding the scene of the crime.”
And if you doubt Edie’s ability to get aggressive on your personal-art-piece-thievin’ ass, just wait ’til she catches you in the act. We’ll see how your bathroom art collection looks when she’s through with you!
(I’d like to imagine the follow-up note going something like: “Damn it, Edie, no one wants to see your ‘personal art pieces.’ For the millionth time…FLUSH!“)
related: Get your “nozzle” off my “hose”
Tags: art · ellipses-crazed · North Carolina · restaurant · stealing · WTF?
An eagle-eyed substitute teacher spotted the work of this precocious young propagandist-to-be at a Pennsylvania high school. (Psst! Philip Morris? R.J. Reynolds? Are you paying attention?)
related: 2good 2b 4gotten
Tags: excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · now that's not true · schools & teachers
“Our department head thought we should be be bringing in doughnuts more often,” says our anonymous submitter in Illinois. One of the department’s “severely underpaid” underlings, meanwhile, thought otherwise.
UPDATE: For those of you asking “But where’s the ridiculous clip art?!” I bring you this rather dashing toreador/sheriff (as spotted by Mel in the break room of her Ithaca, New York office).
While Mel doesn’t disagree with the sentiment behind the note, “It’s a bit off-putting to be presumed guilty of theft before the fact,” she says. “Also, there seems to be a degree of randomness to the number of exclamation points at the end of each line.” (And of course, that dandy of a sheriff.)
related: Straight out of the Michael Scott Playbook
Tags: bold underlined italics · bullet points · coffee · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Illinois · now that's management · office · raging against the machine · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police
Filching someone’s McDonald’s coupons…the “aggressive” flipside of the passive-aggressive offering of coupons for fitness DVDs?
“The person who sent this e-mail is actually a great and very well-liked individual at my place of work,” our submitter says. (Assuming, I guess, that one doesn’t come between him and his Egg McMuffins.)
related: sympathy for the devil
extra credit: Shaking things up at Dairy Queen
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Canada · ellipses-crazed · guilt trip · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)
Writes our anonymous submitter in Minneapolis: “I received this note — and accompanying tater tots — from a co-worker (a balding, 40-year-old male) who had been making false reports about me to our manager and was caught doing so.” (We’re talking hardcore, premeditated sabotage here, so calling himself “a bit of a jerk” was probably “a bit of an understatement.”)
The strangest part, says our submitter? “I do not work in an establishment that serves tater tots.”
related: Daddy’s little smartass
Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · office · unnecessary "quotation marks" · WTF?
Hey, so do you remember hearing about how crazy cat ladies might be explained by the Toxoplasma parasite? (No? Then listen to this episode of Radiolab. It’s pretty awesome.) Well, Toxo may or may not explain these notes.
Exhibit a) Spotted by Shane at an office in Upland, California…
Exhibit b) From an apartment building in Austin, Texas…
related: Cat fight!
extra credit: Radiolab: Parasites
Tags: Austin · California · CAPS LOCK · cats · exclamation-point happy!!!! · MYOB · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · unnecessary "quotation marks"
Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.
“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”
Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?
related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire
Tags: door-slamming · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · London · neighbors · noise · rainbow-colored · shoes · signed with love · smartass · that's disrespectful
Exhibit A, as seen by an anonymous submitter in Seattle?
…or exhibit B, as spotted by Mitch in Goldendale, Washington?
related: And God knows what
Tags: CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · karma's a bitch · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing · Washington state
Our submitter in Denver says his buddy snapped a photo of this notice while she was getting her new military ID. Adds our submitter: “I’ve had success getting a picture retaken at the DMV, but bad photos at the military ID office are usually considered a ‘personal problem.’”
Happy Veterans Day, folks!
related: no washing your ass in the sink
Tags: "customer service" · and that's an order · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · military