Entries Tagged as 'Your mother doesn’t…'
So, which jumble o’ jargon would you rip off the wall first?
or Exhibit B?
Coincidentally, both of these notes come to us from Colorado, apparently the least creative state in the union.
Go ahead and post those speculative explanations regarding The Centennial State’s staggering dearth of originality in the comments below. Then we’ll circle back to brainstorm some synergistic solutions. (“The Centennial State?” Really? It’s like you’re not even trying, Colorado!)
related: The rhyme that must be flushed
Tags: Colorado · office · toilet · Your mother doesn't...
Heather in California says none of her colleagues will admit to writing this note, four copies of which showed up one day in the “very, very, small breakroom” at her office.
P.S. As of today, the first page of search results for “activities of common courtesy and how to clean-up after finishing my break” includes a Wikipedia List of Breaking Bad characters.
related: This is in the way
Tags: California · cleaning · office · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation? · Your mother doesn't...
September 24th, 2012 · 15 Comments
I didn’t pay much attention to this bit of poetic propaganda until I noticed it was posted at an office in the United Kingdom. Is the awkward meter of the writing below Uncle Sam some kind a subtle comment on American imperialism, or just pure laziness? I suspect the latter, but I’d still be tempted to slap a “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster on top.
related: The Vicar of Glibly
Tags: clip art catastrophe · dishes · office · pure poetry · U.K. · Your mother doesn't...
Spotted by Kathy at her office lunchroom in Seattle:
The real sad reality?
related: You sure nag like my mother…
Tags: cleaning · office · rebuttals · Seattle · smartass · Your mother doesn't...
Explains our submitter in Ohio: “Before leaving for winter break, the chronic dish-neglecting roommate of the house tried her hand at washing dishes for the first time.” Not content to pat herself on the back, she then posted this rationalization for why she shouldn’t have to feel guilty about the dirty dishes she’s left in the sink all year.
You can pretty much guess how that went over with the roomies…
related: Because of you, the shower I was looking forward to all day was RUINED!
Tags: Did you know? · dishes · Ohio · roommates · Your mother doesn't...
September 27th, 2010 · 61 Comments
I’d nominate all three of these for inclusion in the encyclopedia entry for “petty office debates.”
Exhibit a) From San Francisco:
Exhibit b) From Jeron in Dallas:
Exhibit c) From Monterey, California:
related: Completely valid rebuttals
Tags: California · cleaning · Dallas/Fort Worth · energy usage · microwave · office · oh snap · rebuttals · San Francisco · that's disgusting · thx · Your mother doesn't...
I think this has got to be my new favorite (unintentional) twist on the old “your mother doesn’t work here” trope. So congratulations, overbearing office manager! The three hours of company time you spent searching for just the right clip art — not to mention your charmingly cavalier disregard for spell-check — did not go unappreciated!
P.S. I promise, from now on, I will be sure to always clean and scrub the delicious Italian rice balls so graciously provided by the Phantom Mammas infiltrating our kitchen.
related: Yo momma doesn’t work here (or here, or here, or here)
Tags: bold-underlined-caps · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · Denver · dishwasher · irregular capitalization · kitchen · Your mother doesn't...
K, so, we’ve all seen a million notes like this…
(Check out that sad little orphan S!)
…but it actually takes a real mother to poke a hole in that logic.
related: Your mother doesn’t work here. Or here. Or here.
Tags: Moms & Dads · p.s. · signed with love · smiley · Your mother doesn't... · your/you're
Our anonymous university student in Cambridge, England found this note pinned to the door of his shared house. “The guy who wrote it moved here from America about five weeks ago and is about eight years older than the rest of us in the house. He seems to be a nice guy, but has this strange aggressive side that we are now a little wary of. Last week he cleaned out all the fridges, claiming he had not been offered any space in them, throwing away open food belonging to other people.”
Adds our submitter: “We are a pretty relaxed household and have lived with the mystery soaker for the whole year. It seems a little odd that this guy is making all this fuss so close to the end of term when we will all leave and he will presumably have the house to himself.”
related: Oxford drama
Tags: college life · roommates · shower · U.K. · Your mother doesn't...
You decide: which masterpiece is most worthy of the Lisa Frank award for the most artistic expression of repressed rage?
Is it Exhibit a, from a hip-hop retail store in California?
Exhibit b, from an American college dorm?
Or Exhibit c, from a shared apartment in Guelph, Ontario?
Oh, and ladies? As you busy yourself with your construction paper and colored markers, never forget the most disgusting thing!
related: What, no bubble letters?
Tags: art · college life · dishes · disturbingly detailed · heart · rainbow-colored · signed with love · smiley · Your mother doesn't...