Entries Tagged as 'Your mother doesn’t…'

It’s not a chore; it’s a date!

January 16th, 2012 · 19 Comments

Spotted by Kathy at her office lunchroom in Seattle:

1: Hate to state the obvious...But-Your Mother doesn't work here...Please clean up after yourselves 2: Mom never really did much cleaning. She was kind of a drunk. 3: it shows...

The real sad reality?

 

related: You sure nag like my mother…

Tags: cleaning · office · rebuttals · Seattle · smartass · Your mother doesn't...

I did the dishes! Where’s my cookie?

December 14th, 2011 · 53 Comments

Explains our submitter in Ohio: ”Before leaving for winter break, the chronic dish-neglecting roommate of the house tried her hand at washing dishes for the first time.” Not content to pat herself on the back, she then posted this rationalization for why she shouldn’t have to feel guilty about the dirty dishes she’s left in the sink all year.

You can pretty much guess how that went over with the roomies…

Guess What?? I cleaned the dishes — even the ones that were NOT mine... and guess what again? It did NOT kill me and I did NOT magically transform into your MOTHER. You want to know what it felt like? It felt like a person that lives in this house understanding that her ROOMMATES have been extremely busy recently and she had some extra time to be able to help out. You want to know how much time it took out of my day? About ten minutes!!

related: Because of you, the shower I was looking forward to all day was RUINED!

Tags: Did you know? · dishes · Ohio · roommates · Your mother doesn't...

Three never-ending office arguments

September 27th, 2010 · 61 Comments

I’d nominate all three of these for inclusion in the encyclopedia entry for “petty office debates.”

Exhibit a) From  San Francisco:

Your mother does not work here. This is disgusting for others who use this restroom. {Response:] YOU SURE NAG LIKE MY MOTHER

Exhibit b) From Jeron in Dallas:

To conserve energy, please turn off the dupe deck when you are done. Tks [RESPONSE:] food for thought: it may in fact consume more energy to continually turn it off + on.

Exhibit c) From Monterey, California:

Covering your food keeps microwave clean. Thnx! [RESPONSE:] Please state the obvious here...

related: Completely valid rebuttals

Tags: California · cleaning · Dallas/Fort Worth · energy usage · microwave · office · oh snap · rebuttals · San Francisco · that shit is disgusting · thx · Your mother doesn't...

Your mother doesn’t work here…so security will have to escort her out.

August 2nd, 2010 · 54 Comments

I think this has got to be my new favorite (unintentional) twist on the old “your mother doesn’t work here” trope. So congratulations, overbearing office manager! The three hours of company time you spent searching for just the right clip art — not to mention your charmingly cavalier disregard for spell-check — did not go unappreciated!

Community Kitchen Rules 1) Feel Free to use the supplies so graciously provided. 2) Your Mom is NOT allowed!!! 3) Please clean and scrub the supllies [sic] so graciously provided before putting them in the dishwasher.

P.S. I promise, from now on,  I will be sure to always clean and scrub the delicious Italian rice balls so graciously provided by the Phantom Mammas infiltrating our kitchen.

related: Yo momma doesn’t work here (or here, or here, or here)

Tags: bold-underlined-caps · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · Denver · dishwasher · irregular capitalization · kitchen · Your mother doesn't...

Yeah, so your mom does live here. Point being?

August 20th, 2009 · 110 Comments

K, so, we’ve all seen a million notes like this…

sad little orphans

(Check out that sad little orphan S!)
 mom?

 "you're mom!"

 your mother = a french maid?

…but it actually takes a real mother to poke a hole in that logic.
yeah, so your mom does live here. point being?

related: Your mother doesn’t work here. Or here. Or here.

Tags: Moms & Dads · p.s. · signed with love · smiley · Your mother doesn't... · your/you're

Clearly seeking his master’s in diplomacy

June 15th, 2009 · 103 Comments

Our anonymous university student in Cambridge, England found this note pinned to the door of his shared college house. “The guy who wrote it moved here from America about five weeks ago and is about eight years older than the rest of us in the house. He seems to be a nice guy, but has this strange aggressive side that we are now a little wary of. Last week he cleaned out all the fridges, claiming he had not been offered any space in them, throwing away open food belonging to other people.”

clearly seeking his master's in diplomacy

Adds our submitter: “We are a pretty relaxed household and have lived with the mystery soaker for the whole year. It seems a little odd that this guy is making all this fuss so close to the end of term when we will all leave and he will presumably have the house to himself.”

related: oxford drama

Tags: college life · shower · U.K. · Your mother doesn't...

 
<