This good-humored e-mail was send out to the entire staff of an elementary school…IN HELL!

(click the image below to enlarge)

related: What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?

Writes Emily in Austin: “In the notewriter’s defense, this machine has also given me regular Coke when I have pressed ‘Coke Zero’ on many an occasion,  so when I saw this note, I thought I had figured it out. If I wanted Coke Zero, I just had to push the button for regular Coke. (I did…and it gave me regular Coke. Bitch!”) Meanwhile, on top of the machine was a can of Diet Coke and a can of Coke Zero with a note saying: ‘NOT Coke!’ After I took the picture, of course I took that Coke Zero and drank it.”

Diet Coke just can’t get no love…certainly not in Williamsburg, Virginia, as Grace from D.C. discovered.

related: the real thing

I really thought it couldn’t get more egregious than this clip-art catastrophe from a church in Boston (left), which made this one (right) look downright tasteful in comparison.

But then, at a friend’s recent wedding, Carey in Northern Virginia spotted this note — complete with that same punchy little yellow smiley — on several doors of the church. (There are more than one, I suppose, so that when you do a double-take and ask yourself “Wait…did they really just go there?” you can rest assured that yes, they really did.)

The kicker? Before the service started, Carey says, “We spotted the priest up near the altar — chatting on his Razr.”

Meanwhile in guatemala, Boingboing‘s Xeni Jardin spotted a sign one might consider either more or less blasphemous depending on whether you’re a follower of Christ or of the principles of good design

(translation: “TO TALK WITH GOD/YOU DON’T NEED A CELLPHONE/TURN IT OFF PLEASE”)

And if you’re of a faith that prefers to talk directly to God’s intermediaries, you might prefer the approach of this Guatemalan church also documented by Xeni:

“Talk to me personally,
I [will] listen to you.
You do not need a cellphone.
Yours truly,
GOD.”

related: Stop! In the name of clip art

extra credit: Crummy church signs

Which clip art extravaganza is the most gratuitous? You be the judge!

Is it this sign, from the Virginia office of — of course — a major mobile carrier?

Is it this little tea party of a sign from Cambridge, Mass.?

Or is it this one, from, yes, a church restroom?

related: Cubicle etiquette

Thanks to Sarah for capturing this delicious little slice of life from her Christian college in Illinois. (Delicious like a quart of Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge, not one measly little low-fat Frappucino bar.)

related: but He took the wheel

Joey in Pittsburgh spotted this one on the campus of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. Now that’s the thanksgiving spirit!

Meanwhile, a different version of this photo floating around shows what appears to be a copy-edited version. ain’t punctuation grand?