PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

Baby Teeth, $10 OBO

Kerry — Thu, 23 May 2013 21:20:13 +0000

“No, she didn’t lose three teeth in one day,” says Jenny in Texas, regarding her 7-year-old daughter, Zelda. “She was just hoping to graduate from $1 per tooth to $10 based on experience. (But she’s totally negotiable if that’s not cool with you, Tooth Fairy.)”

Happily ever after

Kerry — Thu, 23 May 2013 02:11:24 +0000

Loree in Texas found this crumpled Post-it note in her front yard. “Why the husband threw this gem away boggles the mind, but I am so glad it ended up where it did.”

Hey, Dumbo

Kerry — Wed, 22 May 2013 03:42:46 +0000

As it turns out, a surprisingly large number of American apartment buildings are pachyderm-friendly. (It’s the owners that are the problem, of course.)

related: How now, Mad Cow?

For heaven’s sake, Steve

Kerry — Tue, 21 May 2013 03:50:59 +0000

Spotted by Leonora in the window of a London office:

related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss — and absolutely NO LICKING

Presenting the new Mercedes-Benz No-Class

Kerry — Thu, 16 May 2013 05:27:26 +0000

Writes our submitter in Brisbane, Australia: “It wasn’t me that reported the rich guy to the council, but it sure gave me a few laughs.”

extra credit: This Is Why People Think Mercedes-Benz Drivers Are Asshats [jalopnik.com]

Tacky, you say?

Kerry — Wed, 15 May 2013 05:16:41 +0000

Explains our submitter in Chicago: “Colleague A left the following note — an attempt to enforce an ambigious personal space decoration policy via shame — on Colleague B’s Eiffel Tower clip. (Note: Colleague A has no official authority over Colleague B.) I find the phrasing both poetic and hilarious.”

related: Do not lean on my pod!!!

Keeping Portland Weird

Kerry — Tue, 14 May 2013 05:17:14 +0000

Our submitter has been couchsurfing his way through the living rooms of strangers across the country, and recently made a stop in Portland, Oregon. One morning, after leaving his dirty clothes in a pile near the rest of his stuff, he returned later to find…a surprise.

Adds our submitter: “Everyone in Portland seems to do things like this. All. The. Time.”

related: Put a bird on it!

Conditional love: A Mother’s Day postscript

Kerry — Mon, 13 May 2013 12:22:10 +0000

The front:

Aaaand the back:

(Thanks to Jada in Knoxville, Tennessee for submitting!)

related: A Mother’s Day Report Card

Communal kitchen canoodling

Kerry — Fri, 10 May 2013 03:57:52 +0000

Our submitter in Canada, who lives in a rooming house with a shared kitchen, laughed pretty hard upon finding this note. “It’s just so specific. So very specific.”

“P.S.,” our submitter adds: “I didn’t drop the noodles.”

Trading up

Kerry — Wed, 08 May 2013 19:18:09 +0000

This seems like a conversation you should probably have in person, no? I mean…ouch.

related: Dear Alex, GET OUT.

It loses something in translation

Kerry — Wed, 08 May 2013 03:26:12 +0000

Drew is currently sharing an apartment in Taiwan with three roommates. One day, this note appeared on the door of the bathroom, directly facing the toilet. Says Drew: “I contemplate its meaning like a Zen haiku.”

related: My German roommate

The crap we put up with for marriage…

Kerry — Tue, 07 May 2013 02:34:18 +0000

Our submitter spotted this twist on a well-worn trope in the Potrero Hill neighborhood of San Francisco.

related: Do you know these dogs???

We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got

Kerry — Sun, 05 May 2013 21:28:57 +0000

Bethany in California says she saw this sign hanging from a house on her street. “I don’t know the person who wrote it, but I made my husband stop in the middle of the street so I could take a picture.”

related: The Whore of West Babylon

A pre-emptive strike

Kerry — Thu, 02 May 2013 09:07:20 +0000

Eddy shares a house in Providence, Rhode Island with his sister. “We’re both busy with school and work,” Eddy says, “so we take turns cleaning the bathroom.” Well, sort of. “I usually put it off for weeks,” Eddy admits.

Adds Eddy: “By the way, the heart translates loosely to ‘I’ll f’ing kill you.’”