PassiveAggressiveNotes.com http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:51:33 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 The printer doesn’t appreciate your tone. http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/08/out-of-toner/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/08/out-of-toner/#comments Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:51:33 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20924 If only there were a simple solution to this problem…

PRINTER OUT OF TONER Please use another Printer that has Toner. Because this one doesn't. Don't bother complaining. There are other Printers with Toner. The Splash one is rarely used nowadays. It's lonely. It has excess toner. This message is a waste of toner. PROCRASTINATION.

related: PC Load Letter?!

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/08/out-of-toner/feed/ 20 The Vicar of Glibly http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/06/the-vicar-of-glibly/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/06/the-vicar-of-glibly/#comments Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:05:01 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20920 Spotted by George outside his local church in East London:

The vicarage drive is in constant use. Please consider your ETERNAL SALVATION before parking here without permission!

related: He died for your clip art

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/06/the-vicar-of-glibly/feed/ 25 Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/05/hard-out-there-for-a-vegan-cat/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/05/hard-out-there-for-a-vegan-cat/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 00:49:15 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20912 You might recall this epic note — the obnoxious vegan roommate who “forbade” her roommate from bringing animal products into the apartment. Our original submitter writes in to say that since that showdown, she decided to move out (in favor of a more omnivore-friendly living environment).

“After almost five months of zero communication,” she reports, “my ex-roomie started texting me out of nowhere. It appears her vegan fanaticism is still putting her at odds with others.”

Hi. I adopted a cat in November. Tried to maintain it on a vegan diet, but all the vets I saw say this is bad. I've decided I want to give it up and get a bunny. I posted a status on FB advertising it for adoption and no one responded. Really don't want it around me anymore. Since you have a primitive diet, would you mind adopting it?

Sorry I don't like cats. Take it to a shelter. Yeah, no. See, that's exactly what I'm trying to AVOID. Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat? They either already have pets or don't want any. Sorry. Okay. Thanks for being super useful as always!

related: My self-righteous vegan roommate

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/05/hard-out-there-for-a-vegan-cat/feed/ 295 Wanted: Justice, with a side of fries. http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/02/sandwich-crime-scene/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/02/sandwich-crime-scene/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 03:02:09 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20906 A few days ago, says our submitter in Louisiana, a co-worker left her meal on the lunchroom table while she went to the restroom. When she came back, she discovered that some brazen mo-fo had jacked her sandwich, leaving the empty bag behind.

“Being from the Creative Marketing department,” our submitter says, “she decided to fight back against the food thief with this.”

Wanted: Justice. With a Side of Fries.

related: Creative approaches to food thievery

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/02/sandwich-crime-scene/feed/ 64 …and then there’s the glass half-full approach. http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/01/just-say-no-to-whimsical-fonts/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/01/just-say-no-to-whimsical-fonts/#comments Thu, 02 Feb 2012 01:57:13 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20901 There’s the typical New York City note…

"Please do not unplug the coffeemaker" "PLEASE DO NOT USE WHIMSICAL FONTS"

And then there’s the Willamette Valley way…

Well, at least it's not Papyrus.

related: Completely valid rebuttals

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/01/just-say-no-to-whimsical-fonts/feed/ 44 Good God, Lemon. http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/31/good-god-lemon/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/31/good-god-lemon/#comments Wed, 01 Feb 2012 01:35:26 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20897 Our submitter spotted this unusual sales pitch while driving in Livermore, California. (“The dealership sucks, the car sucks, but it’s for sale if you want to buy it!”)

This pile of crap gets 8 mpg not the 18 to 22 mpg I was told. Livermore Ford will outright lie to sell you garbage. A Sunkist Ford. It is very dependable to breakdown. Super crappy ... for sale.

related: You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard.

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/31/good-god-lemon/feed/ 50 No Dumping Zone http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/30/fecal-mist-laptop/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/30/fecal-mist-laptop/#comments Tue, 31 Jan 2012 04:40:05 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20891 To me this sounds suspiciously like an episode of The League, but Stephen from Cherry Hill, New Jersey claims his daughter recently caught him heading into the bathroom “for a little sit-down,” laptop in hand. When five-year-old Rosie asked why Daddy was bringing his computer into the fecal mist zone, he replied, “Multi-tasking.”

A few minutes later, Rosie slipped the following note under the door. (The drawing had already been done earlier.)

What are you thinking Dad? That's a horrible thing to do.

Translation: What are you thinking Dad? That’s a horrible thing to do.

Can you really argue with her?

related: Never put nature aside for television.

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/30/fecal-mist-laptop/feed/ 40 Gas Boys: the Salonnières of Central New Jersey http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/29/gas-boys/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/29/gas-boys/#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 01:45:21 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20888 My friend Brooke said the doors at this New Jersey gas station were covered with notes, but this one in particular caught her attention.

I exactly know today is a cold day and to stay alive I have to stay warm! I have a smart phone which tell me weather seven days ahead. I like to talk about Oscars nomination or the last night game.

(I particularly enjoyed the suggested topics of conversation. Kinda softened the tone a bit compared to this version from Toronto, no?)

Weather changes. Often. It's not always what you expect. Sometimes it is. Life is better if you are dressed appropriately for the weather. I think we have, pretty much, squared away the deal with weather.

related: A plea from your Boston-area barista

 

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/29/gas-boys/feed/ 28 Tony Q69: Never Forget http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/26/tony-q69-never-forget/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/26/tony-q69-never-forget/#comments Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:15:20 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20882 Jen in Astoria takes the Q69 bus to work every morning, so she’s quite familiar with the infamous Tony. “I hadn’t seen them in some time,” she says, until catching a glimpse of this beauty just a few days ago. (“Apparently,” she adds, “the chick is still pissed.”)

Tony Q-69 Tony Q69 Tony Q69 You Tony Q-69, are the only one who should feel guilty and sorry over what happened!!!! You are the Married Man who was only looking to get SEX from me without any strings attached!!! This was your only intentions! You Don’t know how to give a Woman any Real friendship either!!!!! You use Your Q-69 job to flirt with Woman all Day long and everyday! You cannot be trusted and you don’t deserve any attention at all!!!! I won’t forget your famous line how you say that, “Married Man are lonely too”. Then it looks like all you need is a Prostitute Tony!!!! I was not looking for any one night stands with a Married Man fool!!!! But you are for sure Mr. one-night stand and used many Woman! You Married Men are all Garbage and are worth absolutely nothing!!!! What Woman needs a Married Man? I am a single woman and I deserve a trusting, loyal,Sincere, Man in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Astoria…

Tony Q69

related: The Tale of Tony Q-69

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/26/tony-q69-never-forget/feed/ 43 Signed, The Doorman Freezing His Ass Off http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/25/signed-the-doorman/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/25/signed-the-doorman/#comments Thu, 26 Jan 2012 02:30:42 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20878 Thanks to Kenny from San Francisco for introducing me to the work of my new favorite doorman.

Many light years away a new planet much like each has been discovered; one where they use revolving doors.

related: “Church Sign Writer” is a real job

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/25/signed-the-doorman/feed/ 33 Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/24/anyone-anyone-bueller/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/24/anyone-anyone-bueller/#comments Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:17:04 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20876 Shaun in Austin spotted this mysterious complaint in the men’s room at his office. (Apparently all of the males employed there are very, very sensitive.)

Is anyone else offended by the douche who uses toilet paper to block the spaces around the door? Does he really think we want to watch him shit?

related: This locker room is a nudity-free zone

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/24/anyone-anyone-bueller/feed/ 59 Got game? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/23/god-on-gamers/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/23/god-on-gamers/#comments Tue, 24 Jan 2012 01:29:00 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20871 While perusing the magazines at Barnes & Noble, Shelly found this bit of divine snark affixed to the latest XBOX magazine.

Keep Reading You still will be single. - God

Haterz still will hate, I guess?

related: Cigarettes & energy drinks

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/23/god-on-gamers/feed/ 30 Hey, I was saving that for later! http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/22/afternoon-snack/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/22/afternoon-snack/#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2012 01:13:04 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20868 …because if you are saving the contents of your nose for an afternoon snack, feel free to use to office walls for that purpose!

Are you saving these for an afternoon snack? If not, please use a tissue.

related: The bathroom-stall booger epidemic

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/22/afternoon-snack/feed/ 17 Daddy dearest http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/19/daddy-dearest/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/01/19/daddy-dearest/#comments Fri, 20 Jan 2012 00:56:53 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20863 Writes Virginia in Sumner, Washington: “Going through a box of old photographs in the attic, I found this birthday card I gave my father when I was five or six. I was a terrible child.”

You should spend more time with me but I love you anyway. Happy Birthday Dad

related: Some daughterly wisdom for Dad

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