5. being a stupid, retarded jerk.

4. what, can’t you read?

3. seriously, are you fucking illiterate?

2. do we look like the kind of store that sells “i just called to say i love you”?

and last but not least…
1. the internet (probably)

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chonny lives in manhattan apartment with three spirited roommates, and they enjoy, on occasion, knocking back a few glasses of wine for an impromptu roomie-bonding sing-a-long. “one night around 10, after a particularly taxing day, we decided to bring the vibe down with a little peter gabriel,” chonny says. “as we all belted out ‘in [...]

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derek and his bandmates in the grand rapids, mich. rock/metal band charles the osprey were in the middle of a post-set smoke when the club’s bartender came outside, grinning ear-to-ear, and handed them this note.
unlike the unwilling participants in improv everywhere’s “best gig ever,” charles the osprey seem to be taking the attention in stride. [...]

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those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter, a GM at a property management firm in springfield, missouri for today’s masterpiece. “one of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “i [...]

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this series of signs (all made by one person, and pinned up across an entire bulletin board) is among my all-time favorites. the glorious redundancies, the inappropriate quotation marks, the clip art — oh, it’s just too good.

(yeah, the last one is blurry. our anonymous canadian submitter apologizes.)

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thanks to elliette for passing this along for her friend in manhattan.
and as a bonus, a classic passive-aggressive noise complaint from the fantastic found magazine:

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