Well, it’s that time of year again…time for heartless hooligans to smash pumpkins (and with them, the hearts of small, gourd-loving children).
David in California spotted this sign next to a small field of corn and pumpkins located next to a popular public jogging trail.
related: It’s hard out there for a pumpkin.
FILED UNDER: California · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Halloween · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children?
Toby in the U.K. found this note taped to his front door, and found it a bit baffling — not to mention disturbing — given that he doesn’t own a cat. “I can only imagine what these ‘defensive measures’ might be,” Toby says. “I hope the cat in question can avoid them.”
And when it comes to the idea of “disciplining” your cat, I can’t even imagine what that might mean.
(just click the image below to enlarge)
related: Your cat. Your choice.
FILED UNDER: cats · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · questionable logic · U.K.
Rachel in California says the breakroom at her office hasn’t caused many problems in the past, but a recent wave of new hires has changed that. “The last time I opened the microwave it was stuffed with paper towels, the walls were slathered in orange goop, and it smelled like rotting horse flesh.” (In other words, like a frozen lasagna from Tesco?)
related: Someday, when society has all but crumbled around you…
FILED UNDER: California · cleaning · microwave · office
Hannah in Austin made the poster to the right — inspired by one of her favorite poets, Mary Oliver — and hung it in her window. A few weeks later, she woke up to find that her next-door neighbor had added a piece of his own.
related: I have a problem with your window manners
FILED UNDER: Austin · neighbors · smartass
Basic hygiene: Sadly, one of those things that some people make it to college without learning…until they end up with a bio major for a roommate.
related: This room is protected by the Constitution!
FILED UNDER: college life · hygiene · It's science! · most popular notes of 2013 · odor · roommates · TL;DR
Our submitter spotted this sign next to the door of a video game shop in Australia. “I’m left wondering how often this must have occurred to warrant the sign,” she says.
Personally, my favorite part is the unusual choice of the word making. What exactly is going on here? (“That’s it, Alfie. If you really want Bioshock Infinite, you’d better face the wall and take a piss first!”)
related: How many times did this have to happen before they put up a sign?
FILED UNDER: exclamation-point happy!!!! · kids · odor · piss · pointlessly self-censored profanity · WTF?
Our submitter in Chicago says that there a used to be a trash can near the front door of her apartment building, but because it was always overwhelming with doggie poop bags and other smelly trash, she wasn’t sad to see it go. Apparently, some of her neighbors are still in denial.
related: I don’t want to touch the bathroom door handle, so I’m just going to toss my paper towel on the floor
FILED UNDER: Chicago · garbage · neighbors · rebuttals · that's trashy
related: Dear mother of hair baby
FILED UNDER: bathroom · Chicago · sad face · that's disgusting
Kathy in Wisconsin spotted this note in the breakroom of the hospital where she works. Writes Kathy: “The funny thing is, the shelf isn’t that high up — I’m 5’4″ and it’s about chest level with me — so whoever wrote that is either really, really short or really, really doesn’t like the feel of stirrers on their arm when they’re reaching for the sugar!”
related: Is this a thing now?
FILED UNDER: hospitals & doctors · so this is a thing? · Wisconsin
Writes our submitter in Alabama: “After the both men’s rooms in our office suffered from some serious anal explosions, our boss sent around an accusatory email,” which everyone in the office assumed was directed toward a particular coworker, Dan. “Dan vehemently maintains his innocence,” our submitter says, “and in an effort to ‘prove’ it, he posted this note above one of the desecrated toilets.”
related: A diarrhea-only toilet?
FILED UNDER: all clogged up · not-so-veiled threats · office · shit · toilet