writes our anonymous submitter: “i work in a flower shop, and this guy came in today to have us deliver flowers to his girlfriend. after he wrote the card, he asked us to check to make sure the spelling of ‘anniversary’ was right…even though it was right there on the card!”

now, as for the message…”but it’s a joke!” you say? well, to quote scott wetzler, a clinical psychologist and author of living with the passive-aggressive man: “a joke can be the most skillful passive-aggressive act there is.”

related: really though — carnations?

this martyr alert spotted by randy on the breakroom fridge of his office in chico, california…

related: hostile takeover

presenting the winner of the creative spelling (and spacing) of the year award, spotted by rob in the recently-painted elevator of his brooklyn apartment building.

it has a lovely lyric quality to it, no?

related: your are welcome to our home

at a recent wedding that allison in raleigh, n.c. attended, the bride asked that, instead of signing a guestbook, wedding guests write their wishes for the couple on fabric squares that would later be made into a memory quilt. when allison saw this one sitting on top, she couldn’t resist snapping a photo.

related: taboo: the game of unsolicited douchebaggery

this (long-overdue) all-staff e-mail is like a fetus-sized version of one of my favorite self-righteous masterpieces. (how this one got buried in my inbox for so long, i have no idea.)

it comes to us courtesy of jennifer in chapel hill, n.c., who notes: “in this instance, ‘local users,’ is everyone in our corporate hq — including the president, vice presidents, directors, legal counsel, etc., who don’t typically utilize the refrigerator in the staff break room.”

related: it must have been a pretty big bite

extra credit: stfu, parents

rachel spotted this on a frat house fridge in champaign, illinois, adding: “said fridge was indeed revolting.”

meanwhile, helen swiped this from an equally revolting frat house in vancouver. adds helen: “the reason why it is so ripped up is because a frat boy saw me steal the note and we fought for it for a while.”

related: how hazing rituals are born

writes devra in san luis obispo, california:  “i’m visiting my parents in napa, where they both work at wineries. they recently found out that i smoke cigarettes, and though i’m sure they disapprove, there has been little to no discussion on the matter. my mom wanted me to go with her to a tasting today, so she printed out directions from google maps with this note written on it. i found it waiting on my bedside table when i woke up.”

NOTE: edited, at mom’s request, to remove identifying details about the winery.

related: and pull up your pants!

spotted by tessa’s brother during his travels through america…

(this is one of those where the passive-aggressive part isn’t the note itself.)

related: passive-allergic

extra credit: stuffonmycat.com

evan in san diego spotted this bilingual warning in a local thrift store. “i particularly enjoy the vaguely racist implication of the spanish translation,” evan adds. “it’s the only sign in the store (among dozens) that’s en espanol.”

related: when nature calls