To flush or not to flush

January 8th, 2009 · 141 comments

This first note was posted in the bathroom of the Gay Pride Center in New Brunswick, New Jersey; the second, in the bathroom of the Rhode Island Department of Health in Providence.

I’d probably recommend steering clear of the kitchen sinks at both facilities.

Attention: Please DO NOT flush anything inside of the toilet (this includes toilet paper, sanitary napkins, paper towels, or wipes.) Use garbage disposal instead. THANK YOU

to flush or not to flush

related: a filthy hap pit

→ 141 CommentsFILED UNDER: all clogged up · bathroom · CAPS LOCK · garbage · New Jersey · Providence · toilet · WTF?


A Post-it Note-Off

January 7th, 2009 · 237 comments

LJ, a student at Mississippi State University, was up late one night writing a paper when her roommate asked her to stop — the noise of her typing was keeping her up. “I had a paper to write and i didn’t think I was making enough noise to warrant moving my workstation outside, so, I stayed put,” LJ says. “After she threw a huffing, puffing, tantrum and left to sleep in the lobby, I finished my paper and went to bed.”

The next morning, she awoke to a bathroom filled with notes like this one:

Warning: Since you proved last night that you don't respect me, I've lost all respect for you.

LJ decided to respond by giving her roomie a little taste of her own medicine. (Whether the irony was intentional or not, I’m not quite sure.)

Stop writing fucking post-its. It's a cowardly way to communicate.

Ah, the joys of dormitory living!

related: oh, the irony

→ 237 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · meta · Mississippi · noise · rebuttals · roommates


Desperately seeking closure

January 6th, 2009 · 83 comments

Nate’s sister Heather found this note (written on a bus schedule) outside their house in Los Angeles. “I’d like to think Dan took a bus to surprise Roberto, only to be given the cold shoulder,” Nate says, but we can only speculate about the nature of Dan’s attitude towards the future of this relationship. (Zen? Desperate? Really, really flexible?)

Adds Nate: “I particularly appreciate how he gives Roberto the option to improvise.”

Roberto, if you don't want to let me in that's O.K...But please at least do the same for me as any other friend and look out the window and say

related: Tant pis, mon amie

→ 83 CommentsFILED UNDER: frenemies · Los Angeles


The Joker

January 5th, 2009 · 85 comments

Because it’s Monday and you’re so thrilled to be back at work, I thought it was as appropriate a time as any to bring you these gems from the Columbia, Kentucky and Melbourne, Australia campuses, respectively, of the University of What The Fuck.

Ladies! I'm sorry about the shower but someone pooped in it. When I get the time I will clean it. That is if I get the time. Kay <- Housekeeping

Who takes a crap in the SHOWER?!? (Why so serious?) Dude...

(And commenters, please note the enormous exercise of restraint demonstrated by the lack of “anal-retentive” punning in this post’s subject line.)

related: If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today

extra credit: Waste management [youtube]

→ 85 CommentsFILED UNDER: Australia · college life · Kentucky · Melbourne · shit · shower


Tilt your head upwards.

January 4th, 2009 · 78 comments

Josh from Annapolis, Maryland says the first and last note in this exchange were apparently written by Stephen, a college student at a school “known for it’s obtusely intellectual, chronically spacey student body.”

The notes were gone within a few days, but Josh says the situation hasn’t exactly improved. In the meantime, he says, “I’m kinda worried for my own safety. I recently saw this kid chopping firewood in the backyard, so he definitely has an ax.”

Stop using a typewriter on looseleaf. It makes you look like a pretentious asshole. -a concerned citizen
related: passive-aggressive mad libs

→ 78 CommentsFILED UNDER: Annapolis · garbage · neighbors · note wars · recycling · that's disrespectful · You call that punctuation?


And a Happy New Year to you!

January 2nd, 2009 · 41 comments

Just a humble suggestion for 2009…

Why don't you make your New Years resolution learning how to park?

(Spotted by Charles in Minneapolis)

→ 41 CommentsFILED UNDER: holiday spirit · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · office · parking


With a chainsaw?

December 30th, 2008 · 69 comments

Spotted at a local restaurant by Kevin in Boston…

Please flush me gently (Oh, I'll flush you alright.)

→ 69 CommentsFILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · Boston · double-entendre alert · toilet


Putting the “X” in “X-mas”

December 29th, 2008 · 89 comments

“My family moved out of the house we grew up in seven years ago, and our old neighbor sent us this Christmas card,” writes Gloria in Los Angeles. (Gloria herself seems to have made a particularly strong impression.)

Vicki, Tony, Kinda, Tom, Rita, + forgot

Meanwhile, in Providence, R.I., Jessica’s aunt seems to be doing her best to put the “X” in “X-mas.”

Jessica, Aunt Karen bought you a few small items for X-mas. After this you and Kristen are off the list.

related: two birds with one snowman

→ 89 CommentsFILED UNDER: "forgot" · Christmas · family · holiday spirit · Los Angeles · neighbors · signed with love


Merry Christmas, you junkie scumbag lowlife

December 26th, 2008 · 68 comments

Libby from Sydney, Australia found this note taped to the wall of the IGA supermarket in Newtown, Sydney. “Feeling sympathetic though somewhat amused, I took a photo of it — I didn’t really think it would be fair to take it with me.” (That is, of course, more than can be said for a certain junkie scumbag lowlife.)

If it was you that stole the wheel off my bicycle when it was locked here, about 11, on Christmas fucking eve, rest assured that I look forward to hunting you down and separating your head from your body, you junkie scumbug lowlife

related: an inconvenient truth

→ 68 CommentsFILED UNDER: Australia · bicycle · Christmas · die bitch die · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · Sydney


P.P.S. Do you really have a belly like a bowl full of jelly? If so, you might want to lay off the cookies.

December 24th, 2008 · 42 comments

“My 8-year-old daughter was concerned about all the pictures of Santa portraying him with a whip,” says Lisa in Orlando, “so she wrote him this letter, thinking he might appreciate her helpful advice on taking care of his animals.”

Dear Santa, I was wondering if you whipped your reindeer. You should stop because if you do your deer might try to run away. You shouldn't them too many cookies either because your reindeer might get sick. P.S. Have a holly jolly Christmas! Love, Ariel

related: no girls allowed

→ 42 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · Christmas · Florida · holiday spirit · kids · Orlando · p.s. · signed with love