“I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.

September 12th, 2008 · 115 comments

(My roommate disagreed.)

Fuck you! I made a cake anyway :)

Now it’s my turn: Happy birthday, Kim! (emoticon emoticon emoticon)

related: an occasion that blue mountain arts has yet to animate
extra credit: cake wrecks

→ 115 CommentsFILED UNDER: birthday · Brooklyn · cake · Park Slope · roommates · smiley


Oh, please. Do I look like someone who uses drugstore shampoo?

September 11th, 2008 · 94 comments

Lindsey in Scottsdale, Arizona was less than pleased to find this post-it from her roommate when she stepped into the shower one morning. “There’s only three of us in the apartment, so it’s not hard to ask either of us,” she says. “And for the record, I’ve never used her stuff!”

DON'T BE CHEAP & USE YOUR OWN SHAMPOO. THANKS

related: Clarifying motion #2
extra credit: When in doubt, pout: 7 passive-aggressive roommate movies [flixster.com]

→ 94 CommentsFILED UNDER: Arizona · CAPS LOCK · money · roommates · Scottsdale


Just be glad you don’t know what’s in the coffee

September 10th, 2008 · 168 comments

Our submitter in London snapped a photo of this note in the kitchen of the PR agency where she works. Exactly what you’d expect to find at office full of “communication professionals,” no?

To the person(s) causing kitchen unrest by putting the Peppermint tea bags with the Green Tea bags. Not funny.

related: Switch to tea

→ 168 CommentsFILED UNDER: kitchen · London · office · tea · U.K.


As Davy Crockett once said…

September 8th, 2008 · 146 comments

I recently returned from a few days in San Antonio, Texas, where my friend Matt and I amused ourselves on the Riverwalk with a competition to find the tackiest souvenir possible in each store within three minutes or less. (My first win: a “pooping armadillo” keychain.) When we entered this fine establishment, however, I had to call a time-out.

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crocket once said...

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crockett once said...

as davy crockett once said...

I didn’t even get a chance to take photos of all the signs at this one store — including some amazing ones taped to the register — before I started getting the stink-eye from the manager. (I generally try to stay out of trouble in states that allow their teachers to come to class armed.) I’m telling you, Alamo, Schmalamo: this store was the highlight of my trip.

related: Tourist traps have the best signs

→ 146 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · blitzkrieg approach · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · heart · high on highlighter · San Antonio · Texas · touching · tourists


The xenophobic toilet

September 8th, 2008 · 59 comments

Our anonymous submitter in Helsinki, Finland says this note has been in every stall in the women’s restroom at her office for as long as she’s worked there.

Puzzlingly, she says, “Most all the women who work here are native speakers of Finnish, so I’m not sure why the note is mainly in English.” (Nor is she sure what the author was trying to convey with his/her choice of red, yellow and green text.)

Please be gentle with my delicate pipes. I WILL clog if you put foreign objects in me, so please use the wastebasket for paper towels, etc. Kiitos Paljon, The Toilet

Oh, and your Finnish language lesson of the day: kiitos paljon means “many thanks.”

related: I asked Santa for a baby alive, and all I got was this stupid dishwasher

→ 59 CommentsFILED UNDER: all clogged up · anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · Finland · Helsinki · office · toilet


The PANtheistic approach

September 7th, 2008 · 86 comments

At Yale Divinity School, the daily chapel service is followed by a coffee hour. Apparently, says Sara in New Haven, “Some who skip chapel were helping themselves to the goodies before the intended time. Looks like the ‘keeper of the snacks’ has something to say about this.”

if you take anything from here...I KNOW ABOUT IT. (because i am everywhere) -the holy spirit

don't make me pull out my lightning bolts. sincerely, god (zeus version)

Meanwhile, John in Sudbury, Massachusetts spotted this humble plea outside the local Catholic church.

Please return traffic cones -God

related: So much for turning the other cheek

→ 86 CommentsFILED UNDER: food · God · guilt trip · Massachusetts · New Haven


Making time for the important things in life…like Facebook apps.

September 5th, 2008 · 65 comments

Spotted by an anonymous bullshit cop in Knoxville, Tennessee…

OMFG — I have more important things to think about (like my child) than your stupid ass middle school drama! Get over it & leave me alone! Have a nice day :D

related: Facebook schoolyard smackdown

→ 65 CommentsFILED UNDER: Facebook · Knoxville · smiley


The sink half-empty

September 4th, 2008 · 66 comments

Our anonymous submitter sneakily snapped a photo of the whiteboard at a friend’s house in Urbana, Illinois.

Guys, can we stop leaving dishes on the edge of the sink + just put them in the sink or better yet in the dishwasher?

related: Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!

→ 66 CommentsFILED UNDER: dishes · dishwasher · excessive underlining · Illinois · rebuttals · roommates · signed with love · Urbana · whiteboard


Just doing their part to uphold the reputation of Americans abroad

September 2nd, 2008 · 119 comments

Edward says this sign was posted on every floor and inside all the elevators at the hotel that headquartered UCLA’s study abroad program in Granada, Spain last semester.

UCLA STUDENTS: Do not smear cheese on the hotel's door. Otherwise we will have to pay the extra cleaning costs to the hotel (approximately 30 EUROS for last night's episode!!!!!!) If you plan to celebrate end of classes tonight, do it quietly or else do it outside the hotel. Last night other guests complained about UCLA's noise!!!!

Can you blame them? I mean, really — what a waste of perfectly good manchego!

related: Are you proud to be an American?

→ 119 CommentsFILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · Americans abroad · cheese · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · noise · Spain


Currently on the table: a guest towel visa program

September 1st, 2008 · 75 comments

Our anonymous submitter says his coworkers were taking stacks of paper towels from the bathroom and putting them in kitchen.

“HR evidently does not agree with this practice and decided to enact a one-towel play in the breakroom kitchen,” he says. (The office billing manager added the follow-up on the towels’ behalf.)

I am a hand towel for RESTROOM dispenser. I don't like kitchens. I want the right to choose where I live. Thank you - Kitchen paper towel

related: This is not positive communication

→ 75 CommentsFILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · kitchen · rebuttals