Sigh. Half the people in your department just got pink-slipped, your 401(k) is worth shit, and now, just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse…they’re coming for your muffin, too.
All in the name of shareholder value!
(Leaked by Sayf in Greenwich, Connecticut.)
related: Lean cuisine
extra credit: Morgan Stanley cancels Christmas, jobs [dealbreaker]
FILED UNDER: Connecticut · Greenwich · money · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · rebuttals · stealing · touching
“As a college student used to her freedom, I’m sometimes gone for days at a time when I’m home for the summer,” explains Jesse from Gurnee, Illinois, admitting that during this time, her betta fish, Freddie Mercury, tends to go unfed.
“My 14-year old-sister has shown him mercy a a few times,” Jesse says, and admirably, “she’s never asked for thanks.” But Freddie, it seems, has had just about enough of this neglect.
related: Through a glass bowl, darkly
extra credit: “You can call me the manatee!” [youtube]
FILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · family · guilt trip · Illinois · most popular notes of 2008
Writes our anonymous submitter: “Amie and I were friends since junior high. We had plans to go out for my 22nd birthday, but she canceled the day of. I said it was cool and that we should reschedule, and then I never heard from her again…until four years later, when she requested me as a friend on Facebook. I rejected her. She friend-requested me again, and I rejected her…again.”
Amie, however, didn’t seem to get the message.
Adds our submitter: “For the record, my response was, ‘Thanks for the congrats!’”
related: You were warned never to push Carrie to the limits.
FILED UNDER: Facebook · frenemies · mean girls · weddings and bridezillas · xoxo
On a recent road trip around southern Maine, Noelle and her friends Hilary and Misha spotted this puzzling little note posted in the back of a gas station convenience store.
When they left, Noelle says, “The manager ran after us, screaming, ‘What were you girls doing, taking pictures of my store like that?!’” Noelle and her friends fessed up, explaining that they thought the note to Pat was funny, is all. The manager’s reply: “Oh, Pat! Soon as we put up that sign, he quit! That was five years ago. Haven’t seen him since! We just haven’t gotten around to taking the sign down yet.
related: all your baristas are belong to us
extra credit: “laundrymat”
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · gas station · Maine · now that's management · Say wha? · spelling and grammar police
About about a year ago, Coco says, “while visiting home (Charleston — South Carolina’s lone bastion of remote liberalism) — I left my ‘Is it 2008 yet?’ sticker-adorned car in San Francisco’s Outer Richmond district for friends to babysit.
Upon my return, my friend presented me with this note, which had been left on my windshield. I would expect this in Charleston, but in San Francisco? I blame the patrons of the golf course my car was parked next to.”
related: When mavericks attack
Herbie goes to Washington
FILED UNDER: California · parking · politics · San Francisco · unsolicited feedback
Anthony in Salt Lake City, Utah was a little perplexed when the new lady sharing his cubicle put this little number up. Odder still, he says, “is the fact that this particular wall was originally my half — she took everything I had on that end and moved it to the other side.”
Says anthony: “Apparently she thinks I’m going to poke the Messiah’s high school yearbook picture all day — or maybe the note is what he’s thinking?”
related: So much for turning the other cheek
extra credit: The great and dreadful day of the lord [dooce.com]
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Jesus · office · Salt Lake City · touching · Utah
Spotted by Lange from Cambridge, Massachusetts while campaigning for Obama in New Hampshire. Says Lange: “We decided against bugging them with our political spiel. (We assumed they were Obama supporters anyway.)”
Meanwhile, corporate belt-tightening isn’t going over so well with the office grunts this Halloween. “This was the response to the environment/holiday committee’s lack of Halloween candy in the office after already ‘decorating’ the office with empty candy containers,” says our submitter in Los Angeles.
In Oakridge, Oregon, however — as our submitter Tyree noticed — they don’t go in much for subtlety.
related: Pumpkin with a death wish
FILED UNDER: candy · Halloween · holiday spirit · office · party planning committee
Says filly in New York: “I think it’s safe the assume the writer is neither a) an English major or b) a feminist.”
related: more from the frontlines of post-post feminism
FILED UNDER: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hygiene · most popular notes of 2008 · New York · office · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · toilet
Now you must face the evil bitchy consequences.
related: Pumpkin with a death wish
FILED UNDER: cry me a freaking river · Facebook · guilt trip · Halloween · holiday spirit · not-so-veiled threats · TL;DR
“If it wasn’t for the handwriting,” says Lauren in California, “I would have guessed my mom wrote it.”
Meanwhile, Carson in Valencia found this note (crudely laminated with packing tape) attached to a tree while walking his dog in the park. “Maybe next time Maggie will think twice about leaving her ceramic cats unattended,” he says.
And in Seattle…
“In the pot-snatcher’s defense, people leave furniture and the like on the street all over this area of town as acts of charity, so it definitely would have been an easy mistake for anyone to make,” Josef says, adding: “When I took this picture, the homeowner was glaring at me from the garage the whole time. Bad vibes, man.”
related: Neighborhood Crazy-Watch
FILED UNDER: apostrophe abuse · California · CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · emdash overboard · garbage · neighbors · rhetorical question · Seattle · You call that punctuation? · you know who you are