Three tactics for dealing with soap thieves

June 24th, 2008 · 142 comments

1. Prey on their insecurities.

Stealing soap is NOT cool

2. Get Jesus involved.

I PRAY No one steals These items...Please Leave this in the 8th fl Back bathroom...God Bless

3. Oh, screw it.

To: soap thief To whomever it is that is stealing the soap. I would like to inform you that we will no longer be providing soap for you to steal. Thanks to you we can not trust that the things we put in here for everyone's enjoyment will be here. You are a thief and you should know this. Thanks for ruining it for everyone else.

related: Maybe you should switch to body wash?

→ 142 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · irregular capitalization · Jesus · office · soap · stealing


TMI all around

June 23rd, 2008 · 119 comments

Daniel in New York spotted this note (and the follow-ups) on the door of his SoHo office building’s restroom — “a nice single seater with a window.”

Adds Daniel: “I understand the sentiment — my sphincter locks up like a vise with any distraction. But I do hope that the large white area on the thoughtfully typed response will illicit a petition of like-minded others.”

It's really annoying when I go to use this bathroom to (privately) number two, if you will, only to hear someone yapping on the phone! Seriously, if you want to have a phone convo (privately) take it to the stairwell or outside next time, buddy. Thank you. --Sorry, I have a habit of pooping & talking! UNLESS YOU ARE ACTUALLY HANDICAPPED, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS BEING RUDE. AND THANKS FOR GIVING US ALL WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION. TALK ABOUT BAD MANNERS...

related: Or at least pass the sports section under the door

→ 119 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · cell phone · New York · noise · office · TMI · toilet


Your new favorite emo-punk band: The Light Brown Apple Moth Debacle

June 20th, 2008 · 170 comments

Spotted in a high foot traffic area of Sausalito, California…

dear Linda (of the Jack London house) no, non, non, non, nooooooooooooooo i say to DARK AGES thought process of TENTING the house against termite! Are you mad?? this is worse than the light brown apple moth debacle!! doooooooooo reconsider, and don't poison the entire god-damn neighborhood with your ass-backwards neanderthal thinking! consider another approach - 1-800-orange-oil, perhaps, good old-fashioned REAL product, or perhaps some bay leaves or peppermint....what do you think of THAT? really wish, for the sake of your tenants and all your neighbors, you'd reconsider!

God bless the Bay area.

related: Gentrification is insanit(ar)y

→ 170 CommentsFILED UNDER: Bay Area · California · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · neighbors · Sausalito · The Earth


Wie bitte(r)?

June 19th, 2008 · 98 comments

As our submitter Peter points out, the residents of Berlin — with their trademark Berliner schnauze — are not known for mincing words. But this sign, found at a coffee shop of sorts in the U-bahn station Kottbusser Tor, takes that characteristic Berliner directness one step further.

Peter’s rough translation: “Anyone who doesn’t buy anything PLEASE leave the store!!! Thanks.” (That’s at least one request we haven’t seen at a Starbucks…yet.)

WER NICHTS KAUFT VERLABT Bitte DEN LADEN!! DANKE

related: Danke!!! [for the sarcasm]

→ 98 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · Berlin · Deutsche · more aggressive than passive


Three things your health teacher didn’t tell you about herpes

June 18th, 2008 · 109 comments

(A Passiveaggressivenotes.com public disservice announcement)

1. From Portland, Oregon…

FYI - a recent study at Harvard Medical School linked a rare, disfiguring and painful form of genital herpes to leaving dirty dishes in the sink. Be careful out there.

2. From Williamsburg, Virginia…

Stealing ice cream gives you herpes. :)

3. From Miami, Florida…

Surgeon's General Warning Entering Starbucks now greatly increases your chance of contracting herpes.

related: Come get some

extra credit: Herpes: it’s got New York by the balls [nymag.com]

→ 109 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · FYI · Miami · not-so-veiled threats · now that's not true · Portland · roommates · smiley · Starbucks · stealing · Virginia · warning · whiteboard · Williamsburg


All your baristas are belong to us

June 17th, 2008 · 160 comments

Spotted by Weston in the back room of a Dallas Starbucks…the coffee chain’s recipe for the “keep-our-employees-locked-in-petty-arguments-so-they-won’t-unionize-accino”!

(Add one pump “disgruntled English Lit Ph.d.s” + one pump “functional illiterates”; shake well.)

Please do not put towels in unless they are ring out 1st thanks

related: An extra bold request

extra credit: Starbucks gossip

→ 160 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · group bitchfest · Say wha? · spelling and grammar police · Starbucks · towels · You call that a comeback?


Bizarre pardoning accident

June 17th, 2008 · 105 comments

While waiting for the coffee maker to do its job, nickster2000 wandered over to the university notice board, where this musician-wanted ad caught his eye. He’s not a drummer, but says he considered ringing them up anyway. “I just really need to know what was so bad about Graham.”

katlama require drummer for regular gigging. previous applicants may apply again...except Graham

related: I used to be your biggest fan

extra credit: Katlama on MySpace

→ 105 CommentsFILED UNDER: band · Birmingham · college life · help wanted · most popular notes of 2008 · U.K.


And God knows what

June 16th, 2008 · 147 comments

Most drivers could easily identify these duct-tape wrapped shapes as the universal sign for “Caution: Crazy Person Ahead,” but our submitter in Boston actually pulled over and parked in order to get a better look. Up close, “the signs were even crazier than we thought,” she reports. “Seriously, what happened to this guy?”

Seriously, what happened to this guy?

Seriously, what happened to this guy? 4

Seriously, what happened to this guy? 2

related: Movin’ out (Anthony’s song)

→ 147 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boston · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks" · WTF?


Get the hell out (and good luck next year!)

June 12th, 2008 · 116 comments

Writes an anonymous submitter in Peterborough, Ontario: “This past year, my roommates and I had a stranger rent the extra room in our house, and he turned out to be a socially oblivious slob we spent the entire year picking up after.” As frustrating as the situation was, his roommate Andrew can’t seem to fully distance himself from his inborn Canadian niceness, even in this final send-off.

Steve: Seriously clean the upper back fridge

related: 2 good 2 be 4gotten

→ 116 CommentsFILED UNDER: Canada · cleaning · fridge · Ontario · roommates · thanks (but not really)


Pain (and disgust) at the pump

June 11th, 2008 · 116 comments

Just in case gas prices aren’t hurting you enough lately, Tim from Madison, Wisconsin brings us this stomach-turning (yet impressively restrained) note from a petrol station somewhere en route to Green Bay.

Magazines must be purchased before entering the restroom. Thank You

Meanwhile, Tonya in Oakland passes along a photo taken by a traveler brave/desperate enough to actual enter a gas station restroom somewhere in Utah.

ATTENTION Bathrooms are FREE for your use if you feel the NEED to COMPLAIN about cleanliness the cleaning supplies are INSIDE!

And finally, the kicker, from Jim in Columbia, S.C. —  who would’ve guessed that germaphobia and gas-station employment aren’t mutually exclusive?

POSTED IF YOU HAVE FLU KEEP YOUR ASS OUT!

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books”

→ 116 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · Columbia · excessive underlining · gas station · germaphobia · South Carolina · toilet · Wisconsin