5. Being a stupid, illiterate jerk.
4. What, can’t you read?
3. Seriously, are you fucking illiterate?
2. Do we look like the kind of store that sells “I just called to say I love you”?
And last but not least…
1. The Internet (probably)
related: Our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong.
extra credit: thanks, mr. hipster
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Ithaca · most popular notes of 2008 · music · retail hell
After messing up his back, Clay in Knoxville figured he’d give a chiropractor a shot. But when the doc he saw refused to show him the x-rays he’d taken until after a “seminar” about payment plans — oh, and treatment options — Clay decided to take his aching back elsewhere. A few days later, he got this caring follow-up letter in the mail.
UPDATE: Too good to be true, you say? Clay clarifies: “The reason I didn’t block out the “Woodacre” is that it was wrong — it was wrong on my charts and I pointed it out to the receptionist. One page even had a “verified by” signature on it and ALL my information was wrong. I have no idea how they got the address right on the envelope and wrong on the letterhead (the same as on the paperwork I pointed out to them), but they did.”
related: Happy to be of service
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · a little patronizing · Knoxville · oh-so-sincerely · Tennessee · thanks (but not really)
Courtney in California spotted this in the front yard of a neighborhood she happened to be cruising through today — one she says is “full of blue-hairs.”
Adds Courtney: “I just may be knocking on this person’s front door sometime this week. I HAVE to know what Melba’s letter said!”
related: You can do it. We can’t help
FILED UNDER: California · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · most popular notes of 2008 · MYOB · old folks · spelling and grammar police
1. Prey on their insecurities.
2. Get Jesus involved.
3. Oh, screw it.
related: Maybe you should switch to body wash?
FILED UNDER: bathroom · irregular capitalization · Jesus · office · soap · stealing
Daniel in New York spotted this note (and the follow-ups) on the door of his SoHo office building’s restroom — “a nice single seater with a window.”
Adds Daniel: “I understand the sentiment — my sphincter locks up like a vise with any distraction. But I do hope that the large white area on the thoughtfully typed response will illicit a petition of like-minded others.”
related: Or at least pass the sports section under the door
FILED UNDER: bathroom · cell phone · New York · noise · office · TMI · toilet
Spotted in a high foot traffic area of Sausalito, California…
God bless the Bay area.
related: Gentrification is insanit(ar)y
FILED UNDER: Bay Area · California · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · neighbors · Sausalito · The Earth
As our submitter Peter points out, the residents of Berlin — with their trademark Berliner schnauze — are not known for mincing words. But this sign, found at a coffee shop of sorts in the U-bahn station Kottbusser Tor, takes that characteristic Berliner directness one step further.
Peter’s rough translation: “Anyone who doesn’t buy anything PLEASE leave the store!!! Thanks.” (That’s at least one request we haven’t seen at a Starbucks…yet.)
related: Danke!!! [for the sarcasm]
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · Berlin · Deutsche · more aggressive than passive
(A Passiveaggressivenotes.com public disservice announcement)
1. From Portland, Oregon…
2. From Williamsburg, Virginia…
3. From Miami, Florida…
related: Come get some
extra credit: Herpes: it’s got New York by the balls [nymag.com]
FILED UNDER: college life · FYI · Miami · not-so-veiled threats · now that's not true · Portland · roommates · smiley · Starbucks · stealing · Virginia · warning · whiteboard · Williamsburg
Spotted by Weston in the back room of a Dallas Starbucks…the coffee chain’s recipe for the “keep-our-employees-locked-in-petty-arguments-so-they-won’t-unionize-accino”!
(Add one pump “disgruntled English Lit Ph.d.s” + one pump “functional illiterates”; shake well.)
related: An extra bold request
extra credit: Starbucks gossip
FILED UNDER: bathroom · group bitchfest · Say wha? · spelling and grammar police · Starbucks · towels · You call that a comeback?
While waiting for the coffee maker to do its job, nickster2000 wandered over to the university notice board, where this musician-wanted ad caught his eye. He’s not a drummer, but says he considered ringing them up anyway. “I just really need to know what was so bad about Graham.”
related: I used to be your biggest fan
extra credit: Katlama on MySpace
FILED UNDER: band · Birmingham · college life · help wanted · most popular notes of 2008 · U.K.