As our submitter Peter points out, the residents of Berlin — with their trademark Berliner schnauze — are not known for mincing words. But this sign, found at a coffee shop of sorts in the U-bahn station Kottbusser Tor, takes that characteristic Berliner directness one step further.
Peter’s rough translation: “Anyone who doesn’t buy anything PLEASE leave the store!!! Thanks.” (That’s at least one request we haven’t seen at a Starbucks…yet.)
related: Danke!!! [for the sarcasm]
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · Berlin · Deutsche · more aggressive than passive
(A Passiveaggressivenotes.com public disservice announcement)
1. From Portland, Oregon…
2. From Williamsburg, Virginia…
3. From Miami, Florida…
related: Come get some
extra credit: Herpes: it’s got New York by the balls [nymag.com]
FILED UNDER: college life · FYI · Miami · not-so-veiled threats · now that's not true · Portland · roommates · smiley · Starbucks · stealing · Virginia · warning · whiteboard · Williamsburg
Spotted by Weston in the back room of a Dallas Starbucks…the coffee chain’s recipe for the “keep-our-employees-locked-in-petty-arguments-so-they-won’t-unionize-accino”!
(Add one pump “disgruntled English Lit Ph.d.s” + one pump “functional illiterates”; shake well.)
related: An extra bold request
extra credit: Starbucks gossip
FILED UNDER: bathroom · group bitchfest · Say wha? · spelling and grammar police · Starbucks · towels · You call that a comeback?
While waiting for the coffee maker to do its job, nickster2000 wandered over to the university notice board, where this musician-wanted ad caught his eye. He’s not a drummer, but says he considered ringing them up anyway. “I just really need to know what was so bad about Graham.”
related: I used to be your biggest fan
extra credit: Katlama on MySpace
FILED UNDER: band · Birmingham · college life · help wanted · most popular notes of 2008 · U.K.
Most drivers could easily identify these duct-tape wrapped shapes as the universal sign for “Caution: Crazy Person Ahead,” but our submitter in Boston actually pulled over and parked in order to get a better look. Up close, “the signs were even crazier than we thought,” she reports. “Seriously, what happened to this guy?”
related: Movin’ out (Anthony’s song)
FILED UNDER: Boston · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks" · WTF?
Writes an anonymous submitter in Peterborough, Ontario: “This past year, my roommates and I had a stranger rent the extra room in our house, and he turned out to be a socially oblivious slob we spent the entire year picking up after.” As frustrating as the situation was, his roommate Andrew can’t seem to fully distance himself from his inborn Canadian niceness, even in this final send-off.
related: 2 good 2 be 4gotten
FILED UNDER: Canada · cleaning · fridge · Ontario · roommates · thanks (but not really)
Just in case gas prices aren’t hurting you enough lately, Tim from Madison, Wisconsin brings us this stomach-turning (yet impressively restrained) note from a petrol station somewhere en route to Green Bay.
Meanwhile, Tonya in Oakland passes along a photo taken by a traveler brave/desperate enough to actual enter a gas station restroom somewhere in Utah.
And finally, the kicker, from Jim in Columbia, S.C. — who would’ve guessed that germaphobia and gas-station employment aren’t mutually exclusive?
related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books”
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · Columbia · excessive underlining · gas station · germaphobia · South Carolina · toilet · Wisconsin
“My friend Katelyn’s roommate left her this note before she went away for Memorial Day weekend last year,” says Monica in Boston. “I love how it starts off so BFF-like…then takes a sharp left into passive-aggressive territory.”
Adds Monica: “While Katelyn normally likes to avoid confrontation, I think this note pushed her over the edge. She didn’t empty the trash or rinse a dish the entire weekend, and they spent the next three months before their lease ended in a passive-aggressive standoff (purposely being loud when they knew the other had to study…’accidentally’ breaking the other’s belongings, etc.) Good times!”
related: (They match the plastic slipcover on the futon)
FILED UNDER: cleaning · college life · dishes · heart · mean girls · p.s. · roommates · smiley
Terri in D.C. found this sign-bedecked scooter outside her apartment hilarious for three reasons. First off, “the fact that one of those little squirrely-looking scooter guys got out his most aggressive art supply and wrote ‘fuck off and die’ to a stranger.”
Second, she says: “I live between two churches, a library, an elementary school, and a high school. Classy place to curse at passersby!” And the best part, says Terri? “The neighborhood I live in in D.C. is named Mount Pleasant.”
related: Nice try
FILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · D.C. · die bitch die · irregular capitalization · questionable logic · scooters & mopeds · stealing
“This is from my shrink’s office,” explains our anonymous submitter in Wisconsin. “Ironically, I was going to them to help me resolve issues with my spouse’s passive-aggressive tendencies.”
Can’t you just feel the repressed anger in the sudden drop-off in punctuation? (After all, if you’re not gonna use three exclamation points, why bother?)
related: perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · money · shrinks · Wisconsin · You call that punctuation?