I recently returned from a few days in San Antonio, Texas, where my friend Matt and I amused ourselves on the Riverwalk with a competition to find the tackiest souvenir possible in each store within three minutes or less. (My first win: a “pooping armadillo” keychain.) When we entered this fine establishment, however, I had to call a time-out.
I didn’t even get a chance to take photos of all the signs at this one store — including some amazing ones taped to the register — before I started getting the stink-eye from the manager. (I generally try to stay out of trouble in states that allow their teachers to come to class armed.) I’m telling you, Alamo, Schmalamo: this store was the highlight of my trip.
related: Tourist traps have the best signs
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · blitzkrieg approach · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · heart · high on highlighter · San Antonio · Texas · touching · tourists
Our anonymous submitter in Helsinki, Finland says this note has been in every stall in the women’s restroom at her office for as long as she’s worked there.
Puzzlingly, she says, “Most all the women who work here are native speakers of Finnish, so I’m not sure why the note is mainly in English.” (Nor is she sure what the author was trying to convey with his/her choice of red, yellow and green text.)
Oh, and your Finnish language lesson of the day: kiitos paljon means “many thanks.”
related: I asked Santa for a baby alive, and all I got was this stupid dishwasher
FILED UNDER: all clogged up · anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · Finland · Helsinki · office · toilet
At Yale Divinity School, the daily chapel service is followed by a coffee hour. Apparently, says Sara in New Haven, “Some who skip chapel were helping themselves to the goodies before the intended time. Looks like the ‘keeper of the snacks’ has something to say about this.”
Meanwhile, John in Sudbury, Massachusetts spotted this humble plea outside the local Catholic church.
related: So much for turning the other cheek
FILED UNDER: food · God · guilt trip · Massachusetts · New Haven
Spotted by an anonymous bullshit cop in Knoxville, Tennessee…
related: Facebook schoolyard smackdown
FILED UNDER: Facebook · Knoxville · smiley
Our anonymous submitter sneakily snapped a photo of the whiteboard at a friend’s house in Urbana, Illinois.
related: Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!
FILED UNDER: dishes · dishwasher · excessive underlining · Illinois · rebuttals · roommates · signed with love · Urbana · whiteboard
Edward says this sign was posted on every floor and inside all the elevators at the hotel that headquartered UCLA’s study abroad program in Granada, Spain last semester.
Can you blame them? I mean, really — what a waste of perfectly good manchego!
related: Are you proud to be an American?
FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · Americans abroad · cheese · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · noise · Spain
Our anonymous submitter says his coworkers were taking stacks of paper towels from the bathroom and putting them in kitchen.
“HR evidently does not agree with this practice and decided to enact a one-towel play in the breakroom kitchen,” he says. (The office billing manager added the follow-up on the towels’ behalf.)
related: This is not positive communication
FILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · kitchen · rebuttals
Jesse says he spotted this sign at a great Mongolian restaurant in the Dallas area. “They recently changed their name from Ton’s Mongolian Grill to Tao’s garden, but apparently they haven’t figured out how to spell it yet.”
related: Best. Potluck. Theme. Ever.
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · Dallas/Fort Worth · food · restaurant · spelling and grammar police
Says our anonymous Facebook user in Ottawa: “It’s exactly what it looks like.”
related: In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights? In posts on Facebook?
FILED UNDER: ex drama · Facebook · Ottawa
Three U.S. cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves:
1. Austin, Texas
2. Macon, Georgia
3. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
(Thanks to Don in Austin, Elizabeth in Macon, and Jasmine in Pittsburgh for risking the wrath of some devoted gardening/second amendment enthusiasts to document these warnings.)
related: No “questions” asked
FILED UNDER: Austin · blame it on the crackhead · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Georgia · Macon · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Pittsburgh · spelling and grammar police · stealing