“It seems too many people have made love to the office water cooler,” says Lizzy in New York. And some of them, it seems, are getting a little sloppy.
Lizzy says the “Office of Water” thing refers to the fact that “Our office is full of water. Like, the fridge doesn’t have anything but bottled water and Coke,” but I’m not quite buying it. I’d like to think this came from the EPA’s official Office of Water (Benjamin H. Grumbles, assistant administrator).
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · D.C. · double-entendre alert · New York · obnoxious definition · office · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police · that's unsanitary · water
Sure, those luxury condos going up all over downtown Austin might look swanky, but our anonymous Austin submitter says her building offers plenty of exciting local color you won’t find in those glass-and-steel towers.
Perks include: 1) the building’s property manager, a character known for his impassioned screeds about everything from trash cans to expired vehicle registrations, and 2) a recurring sewage back-up that flows into the downstairs bathrooms of all the units. Rock ‘n’ roll, dude!
“The roto-rooter has said repeatedly that the backup is caused by roots growing into the sewer system,” our submitter says, but that explanation didn’t seem to satisfy her tireless PM. Now he’s offering tenants flexible lease arrangements, too!
related: A filthy hap pit
FILED UNDER: all clogged up · Austin · CAPS LOCK · landlords and property managers · toilet
Originally unearthed from outside the hallowed Conde Nast cafeteria in July 2001, this digital-age relic provides a quaint look back at those halcyon days among the New York media elite — back when Gawker was still just a glint in Nick Denton’s eye, young Anna Wintour acolytes were still stuck in the induction phase of the Atkins diet, and print media still seemed to maybe, sort-of matter!
It’s hard to say which seems more charming about this exchange: the amazingly un-snarky response of the cafeteria staff? Or the fact that someone would deign to eat mayonnaise at 4 Times Square?
related: like a rotten sponge
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · "too inside fucking baseball" · excessive underlining · food · New York · not-so-veiled threats · office
The fact that nightclubs have to post notes like this one:
(Thanks to Jeff in New York for passing along!)
related: going up?
FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · bathroom · Florida · Miami · not so much passive-aggressive · vomit
OMG, ramekin drama! (from San Francisco, natch…)
(click to enlarge!)
related: #54 kitchen gadgets [stuffwhitepeoplelike.com]
FILED UNDER: excessive underlining · meta · moving/not moving · San Francisco
Writes Jake in Los Angeles: “At home for Christmas (in Greenville, South Carolina) I mentioned in passing that I would ‘try’ to make it home for Easter, which is what most southern refugee children with guilt complexes tell their doting mothers even though both sides know said child has no intention of showing up to hide eggs and eat ham.”
Jake’s mom, bless her heart, didn’t get the memo.
related: Too many
FILED UNDER: guilt trip · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · South Carolina · southern charm
“Vet school is a sea of studying, testing, drinking and most of all: DRAMA,” reports an anonymous vet-to-be in Ames, Iowa.
Of course, as New York magazine reports this week, Facebook is taking run-of-the-mill classroom sniping to a whole new level of micro-bitchiness. If you have the patience (or the Adderall) to follow it, our submitter gives us a play-by-play of one recent status-update smackdown.
related: So obsessed that I’m becoming a bore
FILED UNDER: Facebook · group bitchfest · Iowa · kids today · saga
At least that would make the roommate situation a little less hairy…
related: Losing Lisa
FILED UNDER: grow up · hair · hygiene · roommates · San Diego · shower · that's disgusting
Finding funny-haha Engrish signs in Japan is almost too easy, but Biella from New York didn’t settle for cheap laughs during her trip. “Your English is good,” one might say, but this club’s “advisory” about the Tokyo police is pure paranoiac gold.
extra credit: Uniformed vigilantes patrol tokyo streets to intimidate slackers [boingboing.net]
FILED UNDER: Clearly a non-native English speaker · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · Tokyo
Well, our anonymous contributor in Pompano Beach, Florida has one for you.
He explains: “I keep a gym membership so that I can feel good about my financial commitment to my health — not so much for the actual health benefits per se. I hadn’t been to the gym in at least two months when I came across this note posted by the showers. (My shower at home was being worked on.) I’m glad I make it a habit to wear sandals in the shower during my quarterly visits.”
related: The Mad Bomber
FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · Florida · gym · shit · shower · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary