You might want to take a hard look at your washcloth.

June 5th, 2008 · 145 comments

An anonymous submitter in Portland, Maine is currently chafing under one of the most common irritants of communal living: a roommate “who has never once bought toilet paper.”

She and her other roommate tried some of the more subtle manuevers in the passive-aggressive playbook — up to and including the ol’ hide-and-carry — to no avail. (“When we run out, he uses our paper towels instead,” she says.) That is, until her roommate, who’d “had enough of plunging his shit,” decided to up the ante with this note.

ATTN: Due to Dave's continuous mooching, inexplicably high toilet paper usage, and inability to unclog the toilet, I am officially removing all tissue + paper products from the bathroom + surrounding areas. From now own you will have to BRING YOUR OWN TOILET PAPER.  Apologies. If you have any problems you can contact Dave. xoxo, Maxime

related: oh, she said it

→ 145 CommentsFILED UNDER: all clogged up · bathroom · Maine · paper product fairy · rainbow-colored · roommates · shit · toilet · toilet paper · xoxo


We all need somebody to hate on

June 4th, 2008 · 152 comments

“Working in a university library, you get used to a lot of ‘quirky’ personalities,” says our anonymous submitter in Manhattan, Kansas. “So far, this is the only one that has decided to put pathology to paper.”

we all need somebody to hate on

→ 152 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Kansas · nonsensical spacing · touching


A matter of taste

June 2nd, 2008 · 203 comments

Christine in San Rafael, California says Sol Food is “literally the best thing about San Rafael.” One reason, she says? The restaurant “keeps this gem of a note right where it belongs — on display in the glass cabinet outside the front door, where most restaurants would keep a menu.”

Seeing as the note has been up for about a year and half so far, it seems Angelo’s threat hasn’t caused much concern. In fact, Christine says, “the place is so popular that it always has a line out the door, which (bonus!) allows me to read it over and over again.”

a matter of taste

(See the lime-green exterior for yourself here and here.)

related: Wrath mat

→ 203 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · a matter of taste · Bay Area · California · Marin · not-so-veiled threats · oh no you didn't · Puerto Rico · restaurant · San Rafael


Maybe “no teenagers” would have been simpler

June 2nd, 2008 · 142 comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted this signage at a homemade water park somewhere near Cherry Point, South Carolina.

pool rules

pool rules

related: And pull up your pants

→ 142 CommentsFILED UNDER: crazypants · sex sex sex · South Carolina · spelling and grammar police · swimming pool · unnecessary "quotation marks" · you know who you are


Thou shalt honor thy Facebook newsfeed, and keep it holy

May 29th, 2008 · 98 comments

A certain Facebook friend of our anonymous submitter seems to have been going through a rough couple of weeks. but, hey, at least she seems to be confronting her issues!

[Redacted] is fed up with the people who like to feed on gossip and like to spread rumors about stuff that isn't true...stop doing it! You all definitely know who you are.

The repulsion I have for the one habitually lying person who feed on other peoples "drama" shall not bear false witness on me....read the 9th commandment.

[Redacted] still has repulsion for a certain male...what a no good hypocrite!

(Confidential to Facebook friend: I’m no shrink, but I have a feeling this strategy might be more effective if the method of confrontation was something other than a status-update blind item on Facebook. just a thought!)

related: So obsessed that I’m becoming a bore

→ 98 CommentsFILED UNDER: Facebook · God · you know who you are


It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one

May 28th, 2008 · 353 comments

Dealing with the rantings of your crazy boss or overzealous receptionist is one thing, but what do you do when your office’s resident passive-aggressive note-leaver doesn’t even work there? Casey in San Diego (a.k.a. RunBarbara) says that’s the situation she’s found herself in at her job.

The offender, Sandra, “has met me a total of twice, both times for less than a minute,” Casey says. Yet for some reason, when Sandra (the aunt of the owner) stops by the office once a week to water the plants and drop off supplies, “she leaves these strange notes EVERYWHERE — and she almost always directs questions about said notes to me,” Casey says. I often have no idea she posts these notes until someone asks me about the odd directions in them.”

Below, a small sampling of Sandra’s delightfully bizarrre directives. (Just click on the photos to enlarge.)

TO THE MEN WHO ARE USING THE "WOMENS" LADIES ROOM

HELLO LADIES Potluck is on Friday!!!!!! The theme is Mongolia BBQ and I will be bringing ribs and hats if you would like one please let me know. Please sign up below for what you would like to bring. If you don't want to "bring" something but still want to eat potluck then please pay $5 to Casey in Human Resources. Some ideas of what to bring are fortune cookies, paper plates, fruit cups, things with no sugar because some ppl are diabetic, to, shrimp, salad, rice, diet drinks because some people like them to. Some things not to bring are cake and forks because we have some leftovers for the birthday potluck. Please sign below and say what you are going to bring!!!!!!! If you have an idea for a theme please talk to Casey in Human Resources. Thx, Sandra

I’d like to think this note was posted immediately following the “potluck”…

Hello ladies, This is the last time I will remind you: If you have to "throw up" please do it in the trash can. Then take the bag out of the trash can and dispose of it down-stairs in the "facilities" dumpster are pipes are old and can't handle "big jobs" like "throw up." Please also don't flush wrappers and trash papers etc because you can just use the trash can!!!!!!!!! Thx, Sandra

related: The return of Thx Sandra!

→ 353 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · battle of the sexes · blitzkrieg approach · California · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · most popular notes of 2008 · office cop · party planning committee · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · thx · toilet · unnecessary "quotation marks" · vomit · You call that punctuation?


Wet laundry’s a bitch

May 28th, 2008 · 212 comments

Spotted by Anna on the wall of an apartment complex in Phoenix…

Enjoy your yeast infection! :)

Meanwhile, in Ottawa…it’s comforting to know that even when Mom isn’t there to do your laundry, she can still help you guilt-trip your neighbors.

To the person who rudely took my laundry out of this dryer and tossed it in a damp pile on the dirty shelf, I'm terrible sorry that your laundry had to wait the 5 mins it was taking me to come downstairs to remove my own laundry from the dryer. I'll tell my mom next time she shouldn't call me during laundry time as someone, such as yourself, may have to wait a few mins longer for the machine. I'm aware of the fact that there are only 2 machines for the entire building but give me a break - how rude can you possiblt be? Perhaps maybe in the future we can work out a time schedule so that my meger [sic] clothing doesn't interfere with your clearly superior laundry. Thanks for that.  P.S. I was planning on allowing my stuff to COMPLETELY dry and put more $ in the machine but your needs come first, I understand.

related: I wiped between my legs with those towels!

→ 212 CommentsFILED UNDER: guilt trip · karma's a bitch · laundry · Moms & Dads · Ottawa · p.s. · Phoenix · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · TL;DR


Or at least pass the sports section under the door

May 26th, 2008 · 66 comments

“I work for a pretty awesome non-profit, where people are amazingly laidback, accepting and non-OCD,” says our anonymous submitter in San Francisco — so this note came as something of a surprise.

This is not a reading room. Those who OFTEN wait somewhat patiently for the restroom to be free would appreciate it if everyone would keep that in mind. THANK YOU

Adds our submitter: “I have to admit, seeing the newspaper on top of the toilet tank the previous week had kinda gotten on my nerves too.”

related: oh dear

→ 66 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · newspaper · office · San Francisco · toilet


News you can use

May 25th, 2008 · 62 comments

The word “newsflash,” like the phrase “no offense,” is an early indicator that what follows is probably going to be something pretty bitchy. Unless, of course, you’re watching TV news, in which case the word “newsflash” more likely heralds the announcement of a hard-hitting segment about the household product in your kitchen that could be killing your children. Either way: proceed with caution.

Exhibit a) from roommate to roommate, Chicago

Newsflash 1: trash does not take itself out. GROSS!?

Exhibit b) from mother to daughter, Irving, Texas

I have a news flash! I don't buy your wine! Thanks for drinking a bottle I never got to try!

Exhibit c) the pointed use of song lyrics in a Facebook status update

Newsflash BITCH...I don't live to please you

Exhibit d) stating the obvious

Newsflash: There is no ice fairy. If you do not have the courtesy to refill the ice trays (especially in 100 degree weather) do not take any ice.

SHOCKING NEWSFLASH: Dishes don't wash themselves

NEWSFLASH Bush: One of the Worst Disasters to Hit the U.S.

related: No offense! (just kidding) No worries! (just kidding)

→ 62 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · Facebook · garbage · ice · Moms & Dads · office · roommates · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · whiteboard


The art of the passive-aggressive note

May 23rd, 2008 · 77 comments

Sure, it’d be easier and quicker to just clean it up. But the modern passive-aggressive (like Katey in Berkeley’s ex-roommate) can’t pass up the opportunity to make a point.

CAT ACCIDENT ->

A common variation on the Van der Rohe approach, as documented below by Sam in Dallas, is the so-called “Reverse Magritte.”

NOT A TRASH CAN

Meanwhile, post-modern passive-aggressives (like this New York office-worker below) can’t resist throwing some irony into the mix, intentional or not.

WTF? "What the fuck?"

More recently, passive-aggressives have begun to show the influence of the burgeoning neo-pop movement. Our anonymous submitter in Houston, for example, designed the original stamp below for use in his work. “I am an engineer and we have to mark up technical drawings for manufacture,” he explains, in his artist’s statement. “It gets used at least twice a day.”

WTF?

The bleeding-edge of passive-aggressive note-writing, however, lies on the west coast, where Rebecca in San Francisco says that in the past, “We’ve had an ongoing series of notes left in the office kitchen — usually of the ‘your mother doesn’t work here’ or ‘there is no such thing as the coffee fairy’ variety.” The Koons-inspired piece currently on display in the office breakroom, however, makes its point with no words at all.

the Jeff Koons approach

related: Why-fi

→ 77 CommentsFILED UNDER: actions speak louder · art · Berkeley · cleaning · Houston · New York · Oakland · obnoxious definition · office · roommates · San Francisco · WTF?