Maybe it’s time for Sally Struthers to get involved

May 14th, 2008 · 140 comments

With finals and thesis deadlines coming up, stress levels among grad students at UC-Berkeley have been running high (which means attention to the finer points of, say, apostrophe use, are running low). And now there’s a lunch thief on the loose!

Taking food is a penal code violation and we have reported these thefts to the cops.

Sadly, says our submitter, the note’s multi-pronged approach (guilt, threats, helpful advice) seems to have had no effect; the lunch thief remains at large. The next course of action? “We’re considering planting laxative-laced desserts.”

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

→ 140 CommentsFILED UNDER: apostrophe abuse · Berkeley · California · college life · food · fridge · kitchen · preggers · stealing · the homeless · warning


“It wasn’t me”

May 13th, 2008 · 93 comments

As far as post-coital “littering” goes, I’m guessing most dorm bathrooms have seen a lot worse than a pink t-shirt, no?

While we certainly appreciate the fact that you got laid last night, we don't appreciate your girlfriend's clothes on the bathroom floor. Please keep littering to a minimum.Thanks, Everyone Else Who Uses This Bathroom

(And we certainly appreciate Matt in Greensboro for snapping the photo.)

related: Humbleshag-brag

→ 93 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · college life · double-entendre alert · Greensboro · on behalf of everyone · sex sex sex


Try not to bite the hand that the dog bites

May 12th, 2008 · 69 comments

While paying his old office a weekend visit, Jimsu from Katy, Texas didn’t catch the original note (or, perhaps, conversation) that precipitated this huffy screed from the mailman…

Dear customer: You are absolutely correct. I should've been more considerate to your needs. Therefore if you do not have your mailbox key you will not receive any mail. Also this is not the mailbox. It is located around the corner. Any mail left on the ledge will remain there. Your mailman

…but he did spot the follow-up from the office smartass.

 Mailman - Please leave a cafe latte & some flowers with my mail. Thanx

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

→ 69 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · excessive underlining · going postal · note wars · office · oh snap · Texas · you be the judge


Did you send your Mom a Mother’s Day card?

May 10th, 2008 · 78 comments

“Living with your parents while still in college has it’s benefits (saving money and all) but it also has its drawbacks,” writes Laura in Springfield, Missouri. Primarily…boundaries.

“My parents regularly grab my mail and put it in a compartment on a desk in our kitchen, which I don’t always check,” Laura explains. Sometime shortly after Christmas, Laura’s mother left her daughter a thank-you note. (An oddly formal gesture, but at least she didn’t actually lick a stamp and mail it first.)

The trouble arose several weeks later, when Mom discovered the note — still unopened — mixed in with Laura’s other mail. Her reaction? Another note, of course.

Thanks for opening this - I won't send anything else - Mom

On that note…Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

related: I can has guilt trip?

→ 78 CommentsFILED UNDER: going postal · Missouri · Moms & Dads · Mother's Day · Mother-daughter notes · Springfield · thanks but no thanks


An extra bold request

May 8th, 2008 · 148 comments

Jessica from Chicago spotted this gem at a Boston-area Starbucks.

Notes Jessica: “I wonder if all that special barista training they had recently included anything about dictating the topic of conversations allowed?”

Customers, Please try to not talk about the Celtics game. I am recording it and watching it when I get home tonight. I would really prefer to not know the outcome ahead of time. Thanks.

related: Our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong

→ 148 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · cranky barista · Massachusetts · sports · Starbucks


(They match the plastic slipcover on the futon.)

May 7th, 2008 · 142 comments

Our anonymous submitter lives in what she says is a typical college apartment, one that is “not decorated according to any theme.” And yet, in a transformation a college freshman taking Lit 101 might describe as “Kafkaesque,” one of her roommates has been replaced by your [fill-in-your-own-ethnic-stereotype-here] grandmother.

These towels were meant as decoration towels! Please don't use! Thanks :)

Adds our submitter: “These weird towels wouldn’t dry two fingers, much less two hands, so we don’t use them anyway! (Maybe if they weren’t so ugly…)”

Towels for decoration only!

related: Text me at work if you want to talk!!

→ 142 CommentsFILED UNDER: a matter of taste · bathroom · college life · most popular notes of 2008 · roommates · smiley · Wisconsin


Perverse and often baffling

May 6th, 2008 · 120 comments

Which clip art catastrophe raises the most new and troubling questions in your mind?

Is it exhibit a, from New York’s West Village?

Please please please...no dogs

(Think about the designer’s thought process here for a moment. Why the sunglasses? And not just any shades…but electric blue? Ditto, the sunflower.)

Exhibit b, From a casino in Cambodia?

(Does no crossed out mean…yes?)

Or exhibit c, from a pharmacy in Berlin?
Vitamine sind jetzt wichtig!

(Trust me: speaking German is no help here.)

If you can’t decide, remember that your first instinct is usually the best choice (um, except when it’s not).

related: clip art crimes

→ 120 CommentsFILED UNDER: Berlin · Cambodia · clip art catastrophe · Deutsche · dogs · New York · you be the judge


Dude kinda has a point

May 5th, 2008 · 151 comments

At this college dorm in Seattle, our anonymous submitter says each floor ordinarily has one male and one female bathroom. However, because this particular floor happens to have an overwhelming number of female residents, both bathrooms were deemed female-only…much to some guy‘s chagrin.

dude kinda has a point

related: Losing Lisa

→ 151 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · battle of the sexes · college life · not-so-veiled threats · piss · saga · you be the judge


The hair-on-the-wall problem

May 2nd, 2008 · 75 comments

This note was posted in the girls’ toilets at a college dorm in Canberra, Australia.

ATTENTION: NO MORE APPLYING HAIR ON THE WALL CRAP! IT'S SIMPLY DISGUSTING AND CREEPY! OK, DON'T THINK YOU CAN FOOL ANYONE BY PUTTING YOUR HAI ALONG THE BLACK TILES NOW. T'S A FUCKING SHOWER, WHICH MEANS THE WATER IS RUNNING. WASH IT DOWN! YOUR MOM'S NOT HERE TO CLEAN FOR YOU.

Later, this note was slipped under the doors of everyone on the floor.

(Click to enlarge!)

one toilet for 26 people

related: Losing Lisa

→ 75 CommentsFILED UNDER: Australia · bathroom · Canberra · college life · hair · RA · shower · that's disgusting · Your mother doesn't...


If your Grandma wrote PSAs

May 1st, 2008 · 157 comments

J.Star says he found this passive-aggressive twist on the old RSPCA campaign/Scottish band in a Cincinnati parking lot. (Pet-lovers: just to let you know, it was crumpled up on the ground, not on his windshield.)

phpoJDUbk

related: I can has guilt trip?

→ 157 CommentsFILED UNDER: Cincinnati · dogs · guilt trip · MYOB · spelling and grammar police