“Swiffer gives cleaning a whole new meaning”

May 21st, 2008 · 111 comments

Writes Bibs in Tacoma, Washington: “My sophomore year in college, I was placed in a campus house with six other girls I didn’t know.  To say the least, we did not really get along, but we made a chore chart so we would all at least have a semi-clean house to live in.” At least, that was the idea.

Things broke down when one of the housemates, Cindy, was confronted with the reality of seven girls sharing one bathroom. After this little display, Bibs says, the chore wheel pretty much went to hell.

swiffer gives cleaning a whole new meaning

related: Landmine in my bloodline

→ 111 CommentsFILED UNDER: cleaning · college life · excessive underlining · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · inappropriate word EMPHASIS · not cool · roommates · spelling and grammar police · Tacoma · to/too · visual aids


Perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?

May 19th, 2008 · 111 comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted these notes in the shared kitchen of a “professional building” — one our submitter says is full of shrinks. Perhaps one of them could deduce whether “i.e. me” fits the DSM’s criteria for a diagnosis…or whether she’s just having a little trouble with her Latin.

i.e., me

related: eau dear
extra credit: “food odors at work” [chowhound.com]

→ 111 CommentsFILED UNDER: casual xenophobia · food · Freudian shit · i.e. or e.g. it's all greek -- or is it latin? -- to me · odor · office fridge · oh snap


The Pepsi Challenge

May 18th, 2008 · 130 comments

Kasey in Tucson spotted this orgy of vending-machine notes in the Anthropology department of the University of Arizona. Says Kasey, “They just keep adding up. I think the Pepsi man is either amused by them or just doesn’t care.” Perhaps…or maybe he’s just hanging back until he has enough material for his dissertation on non-verbal communication among 21st century north americans.

the pepsi challenge

the pepsi challenge

the pepsi challenge

the pepsi challenge

related: Blame it on Coke
extra credit: “look up lithotripsy” [wikipedia]

→ 130 CommentsFILED UNDER: beverages · college life · look it up · saga · Tucson · vending machine drama


Some dating advice

May 16th, 2008 · 156 comments

Here, a break-up note too long for a text message…though that might have a been more (fucking) appropriate.

If you're going to have naked pics of your ex on your phone, you might not want to make them your background pic + LEAVE YOUR PHONE OPEN WHILE YOU SHOWER! I am going for a walk + you better be the FUCK out of my apt by the time I get back. You're a fucking DOUCHE -- SHE'S FUCKING FAT! WTF?

related: you oughta know

→ 156 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · breakup · Cleveland · ex drama · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · more aggressive than passive


The more you know

May 15th, 2008 · 172 comments

This public service announcement is brought to us by Tully’s Coffee, courtesy of Megan in Seattle.

Point of interest: The barista who cleans this restroom also makes your coffee. Their mood determines the quality of your coffee. Thanks! P.S. Please don't do drugs in here.

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there’d be no books”

→ 172 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · bathroom · cranky barista · drugs · high on highlighter · p.s. · Seattle · spelling and grammar police


Maybe it’s time for Sally Struthers to get involved

May 14th, 2008 · 140 comments

With finals and thesis deadlines coming up, stress levels among grad students at UC-Berkeley have been running high (which means attention to the finer points of, say, apostrophe use, are running low). And now there’s a lunch thief on the loose!

Taking food is a penal code violation and we have reported these thefts to the cops.

Sadly, says our submitter, the note’s multi-pronged approach (guilt, threats, helpful advice) seems to have had no effect; the lunch thief remains at large. The next course of action? “We’re considering planting laxative-laced desserts.”

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

→ 140 CommentsFILED UNDER: apostrophe abuse · Berkeley · California · college life · food · fridge · kitchen · preggers · stealing · the homeless · warning


“It wasn’t me”

May 13th, 2008 · 93 comments

As far as post-coital “littering” goes, I’m guessing most dorm bathrooms have seen a lot worse than a pink t-shirt, no?

While we certainly appreciate the fact that you got laid last night, we don't appreciate your girlfriend's clothes on the bathroom floor. Please keep littering to a minimum.Thanks, Everyone Else Who Uses This Bathroom

(And we certainly appreciate Matt in Greensboro for snapping the photo.)

related: Humbleshag-brag

→ 93 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · college life · double-entendre alert · Greensboro · on behalf of everyone · sex sex sex


Try not to bite the hand that the dog bites

May 12th, 2008 · 69 comments

While paying his old office a weekend visit, Jimsu from Katy, Texas didn’t catch the original note (or, perhaps, conversation) that precipitated this huffy screed from the mailman…

Dear customer: You are absolutely correct. I should've been more considerate to your needs. Therefore if you do not have your mailbox key you will not receive any mail. Also this is not the mailbox. It is located around the corner. Any mail left on the ledge will remain there. Your mailman

…but he did spot the follow-up from the office smartass.

 Mailman - Please leave a cafe latte & some flowers with my mail. Thanx

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

→ 69 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · excessive underlining · going postal · note wars · office · oh snap · Texas · you be the judge


Did you send your Mom a Mother’s Day card?

May 10th, 2008 · 78 comments

“Living with your parents while still in college has it’s benefits (saving money and all) but it also has its drawbacks,” writes Laura in Springfield, Missouri. Primarily…boundaries.

“My parents regularly grab my mail and put it in a compartment on a desk in our kitchen, which I don’t always check,” Laura explains. Sometime shortly after Christmas, Laura’s mother left her daughter a thank-you note. (An oddly formal gesture, but at least she didn’t actually lick a stamp and mail it first.)

The trouble arose several weeks later, when Mom discovered the note — still unopened — mixed in with Laura’s other mail. Her reaction? Another note, of course.

Thanks for opening this - I won't send anything else - Mom

On that note…Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

related: I can has guilt trip?

→ 78 CommentsFILED UNDER: going postal · Missouri · Moms & Dads · Mother's Day · Mother-daughter notes · Springfield · thanks but no thanks


An extra bold request

May 8th, 2008 · 148 comments

Jessica from Chicago spotted this gem at a Boston-area Starbucks.

Notes Jessica: “I wonder if all that special barista training they had recently included anything about dictating the topic of conversations allowed?”

Customers, Please try to not talk about the Celtics game. I am recording it and watching it when I get home tonight. I would really prefer to not know the outcome ahead of time. Thanks.

related: Our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong

→ 148 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · cranky barista · Massachusetts · sports · Starbucks