The Office Fridge Obituaries

August 13th, 2013 · 36 comments

Writes our submitter in Australia: “Our office has been quite settled for the past few years without any issues, but recently fridge items have started to go missing. I’ve lost my own odd pieces of lunch to our unknown thief, so I sympathise completely.”

Tzatziki dip 12.08.2013-12.08-2013  Tzatziki dip, affectionately known as

related: Dear ‘Desperate for Salad’

→ 36 CommentsFILED UNDER: Australia · office fridge · sad face · stealing


The gift that keeps on giving

August 12th, 2013 · 54 comments

Our submitter stumbled upon this (excessively punctuated) gem while reading reviews for a product she was considering purchasing on Amazon.

A gift for my niece. I sure hope she like's it. She didn't write me a Thank-you note. But, she likes to sew, so it seemed like an appropriate gift.!

related: Well, at least she reads?

→ 54 CommentsFILED UNDER: gift · posted online · public shaming · You call that punctuation?


Did someone page the office fat police?

August 8th, 2013 · 196 comments

“There has always been candy on the secretary’s desk at work,” writes Dennis in Louisiana, “but “someone recently moved in to the office who does not need to be eating any candy. I think the message here is pretty clear.”

Did someone page the office fat police?

related: This is a candy-optional office

→ 196 CommentsFILED UNDER: actions speak louder · candy · hey fatty · mean girls · office · public shaming · way harsh


It’s hard out there for a tanning salon owner

August 6th, 2013 · 37 comments

As if the clients pissing in the trash cans weren’t enough…the owner of this tanning salon in Boston also can’t afford spellcheck.

I fired the fat, ugly, pig for stealing from me This inconvenience was brought about by her Sorry  Will reopen soon

related: In case you were wondering why we’re closed

→ 37 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boston · don't blame us · fired · opening/closing · passive voice · spelling and grammar police · TMI


Where the sidewalk ends

August 5th, 2013 · 47 comments

David in California says that construction has been going on in his neighborhood for the past couple weeks — and apparently not everyone is thrilled with what the city is trying to accomplish. (David managed to document all of these notes when his leaving his house in the morning; they were all gone by the time he returned home that evening.)

What was wrong with the other sidewalk??????

Couldn't you come up with a better way to spend taxpayer $$

Whoever decided to change the sidewalks is a crook and a blithering idiot!!!

HONK if you think this roadwork is stupid.

LAME

New sidewalks = (burning money)

related: The Gateway to Contractor Hell

→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · money · raging against the machine


Humbleshagbrag

August 4th, 2013 · 68 comments

Writes James in Newcastle, England: “This weekend my girlfriend, who lives 180 miles away, came to visit me. As you would expect, we got up to the horizontal shuffle. In the morning this note was passed under my door. I am thinking of having it framed.”

I'm sorry your sexual adventures are so un-frequent that you have to let the whole house know about it.

related: Your sexy schoolgirl girlfriend is frightening the kittens

→ 68 CommentsFILED UNDER: roommates · sex sex sex · U.K.


Raid in the Shade

August 1st, 2013 · 87 comments

Writes our submitter in Denver: “I parked my ’82 VW van in the closest guest spot to my home about a week ago, as I’ve been cleaning it out to sell it. Then I was sick for a few days so I didn’t leave the house. Today I found this on the windshield.”

Are you storing your car here? You can't have a prime shady spot!! Do you own or rent? Your OLD car should be parked in the center, let newer cars have the shade. But I guess its all about you. Move your car! or I'll be the one calling on you next time!

related: It’s my spot and I’ll park what I want to

→ 87 CommentsFILED UNDER: car · exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · parking · so this is a thing?


Don’t spend it all in one place

July 30th, 2013 · 39 comments

Writes June in Georgia: “I like tattoos. A lot. I have several, and my grandparents got to see a *few* of them for the first time during my trip to visit them in California over Labor Day weekend. Let’s just say they were…less than thrilled.” Still, that that didn’t stop Grandma and Grandpa from slipping little Junie an envelope with a bit of cash for the trip home. “I can’t imagine what they are trying to tell me!” says June.

Not for ink!

Meanwhile, Annika in Inuvik, Canada got this bill as part of her change from a cabbie. (She passed it on later that day when she bought lunch — handing it to the cashier note-side-down.)

This is not for drugs.

related: Grandma writes a thank-you note to herself

→ 39 CommentsFILED UNDER: gift · Grandma · money


Oh, gaufre…yourself

July 29th, 2013 · 49 comments

Maureen is the first to admit that when she studied abroad in Belgium, she was not the best of roommates (coming home intoxicated at 4 a.m. several times a week, an awkward run-in with a boyfriend, that kind of thing.) And yet, over the course of many months, her Belgian roommate never once complained.

One night, Maureen came home to find her roommate’s possessions neatly packed up in boxes. Before she had a chance to talk to her, everything — save this note — was gone, which Maureen interprets as “a not so subtle way of telling me she never wants to see me again.” (I’d say that’s a pretty safe bet.)

Dear Maureen, As you probably have noticed, I'm leaving. I wish you a happy and joyful life. Good bye, Andrea

related: Would you mind moving out?

→ 49 CommentsFILED UNDER: Belgium · moving/not moving · painfully polite · roommates


I hope you step in a puddle in fresh socks!

July 28th, 2013 · 49 comments

“A couple of fairly large bike-stealing rings just got busted here,” writes Caitlin in Waterloo, Ontario. “There were a lot of thefts, but this is the only note I’ve seen.” (How utterly un-Canadian!)

Dear Bike Thief, I'm sorry about the circumstances in your life that led you to feel the need to steal my bike. Although I do wish that you step on a Lego or in a kitchen puddle wearing fresh socks, I hope that taking my bike has helped your life get back on track.

related: Dear thief, I hope you…

extra credit: Stepping on Legos [youtube.com]

→ 49 CommentsFILED UNDER: bicycle · Ontario · stealing · Waterloo