Before I pass out, I bring you a few of my favorite more-aggressive-than-passive notes from the music clubs of Austin.
First, from Scoot Inn…
More bouncer sass from (I think) Beerland…
And lastly, from Emo’s…
related: I used to be your biggest fan
FILED UNDER: Austin · ice · money
After a minor breakout, Matt in Toronto “borrowed” his roommate’s Clinique cleanser…and then forgot to put it back where he found it. His (admirably direct) roommate asked if he’d mind not using her Clinique products again in the future, seeing as it was, you know, pretty expensive and not that big of a container. “No problem,” Matt said. Crisis averted!
That is, until last week, when Matt ran out of his own face wash. Instead, he used his roommate’s (again) and then forgot to put it back where he found it (again). The next day, when Matt went to use her cleanser again (after forgetting to stop at the store to buy his own) he found this little Clinique bonus.
Matt’s mea culpa, such as it is: “I shouldn’t have been using her products in the first place, especially after she asked me the first time. I’ll just make sure I never run out of anything ever again!”
related: Is nothing sacred?
FILED UNDER: "accidental" "borrowing" · actually totally reasonable · bathroom · hygiene · roommates · thx · Toronto
To quote Chris Anderson responding to Milton Friedman: “A free lunch doesn’t necessarily mean the food is being given away or that you’ll pay for it later — it could just mean someone else is picking up the tab.”
Indeed, Craig in New York offers this example of the negative externalities that can come along with free stuff. On one hand: free soda. On the other: notes like these. (You can still see the CliffsNotes version peeking out from underneath.)
related: everyone deserves a cold drink
FILED UNDER: a little patronizing · beverages · excessive underlining · gloriously redundant · high on highlighter · New York · p.s. · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR
Marc in San Francisco spotted this at a restaurant in the Haight called All You Knead (have fun with those puns, kids). I can certainly empathize, but after reading some of the reviews…well, maybe there’s a reason the tips aren’t so great.
related: A friendly tip from your waitress
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · Francais · restaurant · San Francisco · tipping
Spotted by Maureen in Cincinnati, Ohio…
(Actually, just kidding — it’s from a conference center in Dayton. But how great would that be?)
related: Blame it on Coke
FILED UNDER: bathroom · Dayton · odor · Ohio
Myra spotted this note at the fine dining establishment known as Tudor’s Biscuit World in Roanoke, Virginia. (For the record, she says, don’t believe the hype — the biscuits aren’t all that great. But if you’re looking for a place to bear witness…)
related: There you go, bringing Him into it again
FILED UNDER: guilt trip · Jesus · restaurant · stealing · Virginia
The “Thanks for forgetting my birthday, asshole” thank-you note: Because the only thing that would have made this e-mail from Rebecca’s (32-year-old) brother any better is a midi file soundtrack and a dancing elephant or two.
Adds Rebecca: “My resulting apology just yielded more hate-filled e-mails from him — nevermind that I was camping and he lives in another country which I can’t call from my cell phone! I should have taken the advice of another contributor to this site who said there is no correct way to respond to a passive-aggressive note.”
related: two birds with one snowman
FILED UNDER: birthday · cry me a freaking river · e-mail · most popular notes of 2008 · Orlando · siblings · thanks (but not really)
Our submitter found this glorious piece of work on the door to the common room at her Oxford University dorm. “The guy who left it was a 6’5 redheaded dude who wore cravats,” she says. “No one was gonna fuck with him.” (I don’t really understand the causality there, but I’m gonna let that one go.)
I will give Dustin this much, though: through the pain, he always tells the truth.
related: come get some
FILED UNDER: college life · just an asshole · most popular notes of 2008 · signed with love · U.K. · warning
Zakir in Montreal came home one night to find his roommate, Tristan ferociously scribbling this note for his other roommate, Vincent. Apparently, Tristan was baking cookies on Saturday night (aww) and when he turned on the stove, the entire apartment filled with smoke from the charred cardboard from Vince’s frozen pizza.
Says Zakir: “Vincent’s reply to the note was gold. He yelled: ‘Well, maybe next time you should CHECK the oven before you turn it on….WHAT IF THERE WAS A BABY IN THERE?!’ and then slammed his door behind him.”
Adds Zakir: “I’m not sure if those are hearts or flames all over the note, but I do know Tristan‘s face was scrunched with anger as he wrote it.”
Meanwhile, in Clemson, S.C…there is a baby in that oven.
related: must have been a pretty big bite
FILED UNDER: double-entendre alert · heart · Montreal · oven · pizza · preggers · smiley · South Carolina · spelling and grammar police
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · food · FYI · Minneapolis/St. Paul · office fridge