You can do it. We can’t help.

February 25th, 2008 · 91 comments

Julie spotted this amazing note on New York’s Lower East Side…

I WANT MY MONEY I WILL POST SIGNS ALL OVER HOME DEPOT IF I DON'T GET IT BY TODAY

(Dude, how ominous are those ellipses?)

related: Movin’ out (Anthony’s song)

→ 91 CommentsFILED UNDER: crazypants · money · not-so-veiled threats · Say wha?


But Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted

February 24th, 2008 · 109 comments

Charlie in Hopkinton, Massachusetts (age 17) and his little brother (age 15) spent a good deal of time scheming about how to respond to their mother’s notes around the bathroom before deciding upon shaving cream as their weapon of choice.

p.s. Matilda: the most passive-aggressive child in fiction? (Also, Muggle-wump: the most passive-aggressive monkey?) discuss!

related: Living with an adolescent (abridged)

→ 109 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · Massachusetts · Moms & Dads


Over and Over – The Warning (Passive-aggressive Remix)

February 21st, 2008 · 156 comments

Laid back? I’ll give you laid back. In fact, I’ll spell it out for you: Janice will break your legs.

I'm tired of it  no more smoking for no one not at all but me and my room is no smoking room or using me for a place to smoke your cigarettes at no more my room is my room and no one else's room so don't demand me what to do in my room either Janice

(Thanks to Peter in Milwaukee for documenting — you’re my number one guy!)

related: Be informed, Homeland Security will be

→ 156 CommentsFILED UNDER: crazypants · Milwaukee · pure poetry · Say wha? · smoking · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation?


Two birds with one snowman

February 20th, 2008 · 57 comments

While other passive-aggressives plow through post-its with wild abandon, the caretaker of Kale‘s building in Winnipeg has a more economical style.

Wishing you a warm and wonderful Christmas. Have a great holiday season + happy wishes for the coming year. Vetta  P.S. please get your garbage off the fire escape

P.S. Vetta, I think the only thing that would make me love this note more is if your postscript began with “I wish…

related: And what’s your Christmas wish?

→ 57 CommentsFILED UNDER: Christmas · garbage · holiday spirit · landlords and property managers · most popular notes of 2008 · p.s. · Winnipeg


Crazy is right

February 19th, 2008 · 217 comments

In the office kitchen, expecting your coworkers to wipe up the spatters from their exploded Hot Pockets seems like standard enough microwave etiquette. And a ban on charred popcorn and leftover tuna casserole? Eh, fair enough. But this note — from an anonymous office worker in Baltimore — is the kind of thing that leads to out-and-out mutiny.

Please clear any unused time off the microwave when you are finished.  Some of us have O.C.D. and leftover time drives us crazy.  -Thanks!

UPDATE: There’s a copycat on the loose!

UPDATE 2: They’re multiplying!

The copycat; busted!

UPDATE 3: The meta-madness continues!

meta like whoa

UPDATE 4: It continues!

Yet another copycat!

related: Who are you calling OCD?

→ 217 CommentsFILED UNDER: a little uptight · Baltimore · microwave · most popular notes of 2008 · office


My boss, Vanna

February 18th, 2008 · 66 comments

At Stanly’s office in Houston, the team has a whiteboard they update everyday with their accomplishments. Afer accidentally erasing his update, Stanly’s boss left him this message.

PLEASE UPDATE THE BOARD

Of course, Stanly had to return the gesture.

GOT 1 YESTERDAY SOMEONE ERASED IT!

related: the post-it wars

→ 66 CommentsFILED UNDER: Houston · now that's management · office · rebuttals


Infinite note project

February 15th, 2008 · 86 comments

Faydra in Gainesville, Florida lives in an apartment complex she describes as “a step above dorm living” — 85 females total, all of them coming and going at all hours. Faydra’s next-door neighbors kicked things off (with the most frightening clip art extravaganza ever) and things devolved from there. In chronological order:

infinite note project

infinite note project

infinite note project

related: A fancy feast

→ 86 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · neighbors · noise · rebuttals · smiley


To be young

February 14th, 2008 · 58 comments

Happy Valentine’s Day, kids!

Gavyn is a heart braker [sic] don't like him

(Thanks to Ron in West Jordan, Utah, who found this note taped to his front door.)

related: wake me up? wham!

→ 58 CommentsFILED UNDER: kids · spelling and grammar police · spurned lover · Utah


Where angels fear to spit

February 13th, 2008 · 69 comments

From an anonymous heathen in Washington, D.C.:

Dear Those Who LOITER/SMOKE in THIS PARTICULAR HALLWAY: This is not a place where you can place your trash!!! People actually live here, believe it or not, and frankly, we're sick and tired of cleaning up after grown people who can go outside and do their business !!!!!!! The last thing people who actually work and have a life in this APARTMENT BULIDING [sic] WANT TO SEE WHEN THEY COME HOME IS ASHES, CIGARETTE BUTTS AND SALIVA (OR SPIT, FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT READ) IN THIS HALLWAY!!!! GO AWAY AND DO YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE, WE'RE VERY SICK AND TIRED OF CLEANING UP AFTER YOU!!! BE A ROACH AND A HEATHEN SOMEWHERE ELSE. Dutifully, Disgruntled Resident

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

→ 69 CommentsFILED UNDER: bold underlined italics · D.C. · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · obnoxious definition · smoking · spelling and grammar police · spitting


So obsessed that I’m becoming a bore

February 12th, 2008 · 75 comments

Writes Simon in Richmond, Virginia: “I was combing through my Facebook newsfeed and came across this note posted by someone on my friend list. I have no idea who the note is referring to, but I think it’s kind of interesting that he’s putting out his dirty laundry for all to see.”

i'm sorry for your loss

related: Meet my new therapist: the cable guy

→ 75 CommentsFILED UNDER: Facebook · i before e · Richmond · TL;DR