Eli says this sign has been hanging in the window of the local pizza place for several weeks now. (Really, with that whole “talking and working” requirement, are you surprised they weren’t deluged with applications?)
related: Bizarre pardoning accident
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · help wanted · now that's management · spelling and grammar police
I didn’t think i’d ever see a kitchen appliance more inappropriately anthropomorphized than this fridge, but I think this dishwasher note (from an anonymous submitter in England) dials the WTF-factor up to 11.
related: The passive-aggressive note has not been destroyed; it has been solved
FILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · bold-underlined-caps · CAPS LOCK · dishes · dishwasher · mixed metaphors · sad face · shit · U.K. · WTF?
Nadia received this letter from her boyfriend’s cousin, Amy, who recently relocated with her boyfriend from Saskatoon to Victoria, B.C…and have been shacking up with Nadia and her boyfriend even since. Over the past month, roomie relations have become a bit strained, to say the least.
“We had to send a stray cat she was harboring to a friend’s house temporarily (my allergies were killing me),” Nadia says, and Amy proceeded to pout for three days straight. A minor-blow out ensued, which was then followed by this untitled composition. Nadia and her boyfriend are scheduled to move out on Wednesday.
Adds Nadia: “A friend of mine (a B.A. in professional writing and linguistics) and I (a high school science and math teacher with a zoology degree and a B.Ed.) corrected all of the mistakes in the letter.” Then, fighting ire with ire, they posted it on the fridge.
related: Nice move
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · Canada · family · p.s. · roommates · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR
Writes our anonymous submitter from Kentucky: “I work at a gym. I was checking the women’s locker room to make sure it wasn’t a fetid stinkpit (it wasn’t) when I saw three of these lying on the counter. I went to throw them out and found a whole mess of them in the trash can, too.”
related: like a rotten sponge
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · gym · Kentucky · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police · stealing · warning
Writes an anonymous social networker in Gainesville, Florida: “This guy and his (ex) roommate are friends of mine on Facebook, and they’ve been bickering back and forth for months now, airing their grievances for everyone to see.”
The girl eventually moved out, our submitter says, but it seems like maybe — just maybe — she left some unfinished business behind.
related: Thou shalt honor thy Facebook newsfeed, and keep it holy
FILED UNDER: Facebook · money · public shaming · roommates · saga · stealing
5. Being a stupid, illiterate jerk.
4. What, can’t you read?
3. Seriously, are you fucking illiterate?
2. Do we look like the kind of store that sells “I just called to say I love you”?
And last but not least…
1. The Internet (probably)
related: Our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong.
extra credit: thanks, mr. hipster
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Ithaca · most popular notes of 2008 · music · retail hell
After messing up his back, Clay in Knoxville figured he’d give a chiropractor a shot. But when the doc he saw refused to show him the x-rays he’d taken until after a “seminar” about payment plans — oh, and treatment options — Clay decided to take his aching back elsewhere. A few days later, he got this caring follow-up letter in the mail.
UPDATE: Too good to be true, you say? Clay clarifies: “The reason I didn’t block out the “Woodacre” is that it was wrong — it was wrong on my charts and I pointed it out to the receptionist. One page even had a “verified by” signature on it and ALL my information was wrong. I have no idea how they got the address right on the envelope and wrong on the letterhead (the same as on the paperwork I pointed out to them), but they did.”
related: Happy to be of service
FILED UNDER: "customer service" · a little patronizing · Knoxville · oh-so-sincerely · Tennessee · thanks (but not really)
Courtney in California spotted this in the front yard of a neighborhood she happened to be cruising through today — one she says is “full of blue-hairs.”
Adds Courtney: “I just may be knocking on this person’s front door sometime this week. I HAVE to know what Melba’s letter said!”
related: You can do it. We can’t help
FILED UNDER: California · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · most popular notes of 2008 · MYOB · old folks · spelling and grammar police
1. Prey on their insecurities.
2. Get Jesus involved.
3. Oh, screw it.
related: Maybe you should switch to body wash?
FILED UNDER: bathroom · irregular capitalization · Jesus · office · soap · stealing
Daniel in New York spotted this note (and the follow-ups) on the door of his SoHo office building’s restroom — “a nice single seater with a window.”
Adds Daniel: “I understand the sentiment — my sphincter locks up like a vise with any distraction. But I do hope that the large white area on the thoughtfully typed response will illicit a petition of like-minded others.”
related: Or at least pass the sports section under the door
FILED UNDER: bathroom · cell phone · New York · noise · office · TMI · toilet