Our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong.

April 25th, 2008 · 117 comments

Heather says this pizzeria in Victoria, B.C. has been confounding customers with its customer service “policy” for as long as she can remember. (Which I guess means…it’s working?)

Our customers are very important to us - as important as water is to life. Please remember that nobody likes bad water.

related: ps bacon is life

→ 117 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · Canada · mixed metaphors · pizza · restaurant


Two points for honesty

April 24th, 2008 · 226 comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I work as a payment processor for a local ambulance company. I see lots of notes scribbled on bills, but this one was a first. At least he/she is honest! :)”

I won't pay this, and you can't make me! :)

related: three cents for the saliva

→ 226 CommentsFILED UNDER: Michigan · money · raging against the machine · smiley


Grimace and the fry kids

April 23rd, 2008 · 124 comments

The school in Los Angeles where Anna works is under renovation, so a lot of the kids cut through the library on their way to and from the cafeteria. Recently, one of these fine young scholars spilled an entire basket of fries…and kept walking. One of Anna’s coworkers picked them up, but he missed one. another coworker posted this note.

Please note the offending French fry on the carpet in the library. Situations like this, people, are why we make you go around the library when you have food or drink.

The amazing thing, Anna says, is that the sign actually worked. “The student came in, took responsibility and even apologized.” Happy meals all around!

related: No sarcasm left behind
extra credit: The real Grimace [youtube]

→ 124 CommentsFILED UNDER: fed-up librarian · food · kids today · library · McDonalds


No offense! (just kidding) No worries! (just kidding)

April 22nd, 2008 · 90 comments

Reason #962 why I’m happy Facebook wasn’t around when I was in high school…

You chose the one formal picture I am not in...are you denying our friendship?

related: 2 good 2b 4gotten
extra credit: Judy “just kidding” Grimes [SNL]

→ 90 CommentsFILED UNDER: Facebook · frenemies · just kidding! · schools & teachers


The overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time

April 21st, 2008 · 137 comments

Homero in Portland had just finished heating up his lunch in the office microwave when he returned to his desk to find this “helpful” note — attached to an ad from the local alt-weekly — waiting on his chair. Though it’s unsigned, he says he’s pretty sure he knows which coworker left it for him. “She’s kind of socially stunted, but seems to think that a) she’s very funny and b) we’re BFF,” Homero says. “Um…no.”

I saw this ad and thought u might find his services helpful :P

related: WoW, indeed

→ 137 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · office · Portland · smiley


Why is it that on this night we’re, like, allowed to eat carbs?

April 20th, 2008 · 47 comments

You gotta love my Grandma Cookie — she’s always looking out for my figure!

Make the matzo balls light!!

(This is why the Seder calls for the drinking of four cups of wine.)

related: too many
extra credit: our stomachs, ourselves [heeb]

→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: animated fucking e-card · Grandma · holiday spirit


No girls allowed

April 18th, 2008 · 98 comments

Writes Bailey in Oklahoma: “My nine-year-old brother hung the original note on his door when I came home from college for Christmas. After I laughed it off, he left a special note just for me. When I walked in anyway, he yelled, “Didn’t you see the sign?!?’ I can’t believe I’m being patronized by a third-grader.”

This is a boys only room. No girls can enter except my girl cousin. This includes you Bailey.

(Don’t worry, Bailey, you’re not the only one.)

related: No kids allowed!

→ 98 CommentsFILED UNDER: battle of the sexes · kids · siblings · visual aids


And please don’t step on any cracks, either

April 16th, 2008 · 126 comments

After six months of backpacking through Australia, my former roommate Robin stopped by her mom’s house on Long Island to unload her giant pack of souvenirs, leftover trail mix, and unwashed underwear. Her crucial mistake — besides the basic one: returning back home to mom as an adult — leaving an unopened can of planter’s peanuts on the floor of her room…within sight of her mom, who is, um, deathly allergic to peanuts.

The note she left was simple enough, but for Robin, the subtext was clear: “What, you’ve been back one day, and already you’re trying to kill me?”

PLEASE DO NOT EAT IN THE HOUSE THANKS MOM

“Honestly, I’m pretty surprised she didn’t add in ‘…OR I WILL DIE!!!’ at the end,” says Robin. “But the dirty looks I got from my stepdad the rest of the day basically said as much.” After getting a very thorough talking-to the next day about the finer points of washing cast-iron cookware, she decided it was definitely time to get her own place.

related: Cleaning party!

→ 126 CommentsFILED UNDER: food · Moms & Dads · New York · pleasantries as afterthought


Stop! In the name of clip art.

April 15th, 2008 · 80 comments

Like this phrase, there are a few irritating little pieces of clip art that keep popping up in submissions over and over again. Hovering somewhere near the top of most-wanted list is this pouty little white-gloved dandy.

From the factories of Pittsburgh…

STOP TAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD OUT OF THE REFRIGERATOR FREEZER IF IT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!

…to the cube-farms of Virginia, this perspiring misanthrope has been spreading his message of intolerance with impunity.

But, once again, it’s a note from a church bathroom (this one spotted by Jess in Boston) that really pushes things to a whole new level of divine didacticism.

No! Stop!

Can I get a witness?!

related: clip art crimes

→ 80 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · Boston · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · most popular notes of 2008 · neighbors · office fridge · Pittsburgh


The fruitcake’s in the mail

April 15th, 2008 · 99 comments

“Not long before I left my previous job writing reviews of video games, I got this little gem from someone involved in the production of a game I didn’t exactly care for,” Alex says. “Game-makers bitching about reviews is nothing new, but rarely do they do it with as much sarcastic flair as this one does.”

the fruitcake's in the mail

related: An occasion that Blue Mountain Arts has yet to animate

→ 99 CommentsFILED UNDER: apostrophe abuse · e-mail · holiday spirit · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)