It’s not a race (it’s a social construct)

March 25th, 2008 · 220 comments

Here’s a trio of notes from California that each make me very uncomfortable…and not just because of the painful lack of irony.

First up: an excerpt from seating guidelines posted at the quaint little Mexican restaurant in Huntington Beach where Brynn used to waitress. So quaint, Brynn says, “They also posted a dress code rule that ladies must wear makeup and skirts could not be below the knee.”

Mexican people prefer a booth

Meanwhile, a little farther south, a construction worker left this note for James in San Diego…while he was parked in front of his own house.

TRY MOVING YOUR TRUCK UP SO THAT ANOTHER ONE CAN FIT ASSHOLE! O WAIT YOUR PROBABLY A FUCKIN MEXICAN!

And the last word goes to this bit of social commentary, which Jen spotted on the window of a soon-to-be-opened restaurant in San Francisco.

Speak English (OK, BITE ME XENOPHOBE!)

related: Je comprends…moi non plus

extra credit: ¡Ask a Mexican!® [ocweekly.com]

→ 220 CommentsFILED UNDER: California · casual xenophobia · parking · restaurant · San Diego · your/you're


Help yourself

March 24th, 2008 · 43 comments

Spotted by doppelfrog at London’s Paddington station…

help yourself

related: Water, water everywhere

→ 43 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · London · rhetorical question · warning · water · whiteboard


I’m pregnant…what’s your excuse?

March 23rd, 2008 · 100 comments

Amanda in Fairhaven, Mass. recently took her sister-in-law in for an ultrasound appointment, and was a little frightened by this sign. (It was posted in three places, both inside and outside the restroom.)

IF YOU ARE HAVING AN ULTRASOUND PLEASE DO NOT EMPTY YOUR BLADDER THIS MEANS YOU!!!

related: Bun — er, pizza in the oven

→ 100 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Massachusetts · piss · preggers


Everything you hate about office culture, in one cringe-inducing note.

March 21st, 2008 · 121 comments

This note represents pretty much everything about office culture that makes me cringe. Appropriately enough, I can’t even bring myself to call out the specifics — it’s just too overwhelming. (But the sign will always be there…every day, taunting me.)

PLEASE MAKE SURE I AM CLOSED I HAVE ALOT OF FOODS IN MY BELLY I DON'T WANT TO GET WARM!

→ 121 CommentsFILED UNDER: alot · anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · fridge · inane cartoon · kinda creepy · mixed metaphors · most popular notes of 2008 · Say wha? · spelling and grammar police · U.K.


My secretary, Sybil

March 19th, 2008 · 126 comments

Dan spotted this triple-bonus-score of a note at the desk of a receptionist in MTV’s New York office. The craziest part, he says? “She leaves it up there all the time, just in case she calls in sick. It’s just up there, all day, in her face, reaffirming her violent disapproval for people invading her personal space.”

my secretary, sybil

related: where angels fear to spit

→ 126 CommentsFILED UNDER: bold-underlined-caps · exclamation-point happy!!!! · overzealous secretary · touching


Not to name names, but…

March 18th, 2008 · 84 comments

World-renowned troublemaker Troy McClure forwards this e-mail from his department’s secretary in Sydney, Australia.

Would anyone know who has taken/borrowed most of the coffee mugs and tea cups from the kitchen on our level?

No big deal, you say? Take a second look at the addressee list. (Yes, JONATHAN, I’m talking to you.)

related: Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm

→ 84 CommentsFILED UNDER: "accidental" "borrowing" · dishes · message to all intended for one · overzealous secretary · Sydney


Welcome to SXSW, sucker

March 17th, 2008 · 123 comments

While you were drunk-texting your latest Eugene Mirman sighting to all your pals, more industrious folk like Bryan from Minneapolis,  Betsy from L.A., and Adele from Montreal were documenting the comedic gold being served up by Austin bartenders.

There are NO fucking drink specials. Everything is special. Welcome to SXSW. Sucker. (This message sent via iPhone)

Sorry, we do not have Red Bull, Zima, Wine Coolers or Smirnoff Ice. Please don't even go there. P.S. No Shiner either.

"Cheers, Mate!" is not an acceptable tip in Texas

related: Reporting not-exactly-live from SXSW

→ 123 CommentsFILED UNDER: Austin · bar · money · most popular notes of 2008 · tipping


But who’s counting?

March 16th, 2008 · 73 comments

Writes an anonymous New Yorker: “Our neighbors hate us because we are the youngest in the building. Thus, any malfunction that occurs in the building results in notes directed towards us. And yes, this note was a follow-up to another note (seen at left) also directed at us.”

PULL THE DOOR SHUT! THE GREEN DOOR has been LEFT OPEN 3 times since last note.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, kids!

related: infinite note project

→ 73 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · kids today · neighbors · New York · opening/closing


Reporting not-exactly-live from SXSW

March 14th, 2008 · 87 comments

Before I pass out, I bring you a few of my favorite more-aggressive-than-passive notes from the music clubs of Austin.

First, from Scoot Inn…

TO GAIN ENTRY OR "COME IN" YOU WILL NEED $2

More bouncer sass from (I think) Beerland…

From (I think) beerland

And lastly, from Emo’s

I don't know about you...but I sure as hell wouldn't want someone else's sweaty-ass, filthy grimey fingers in the clean ice I drink w/.  So keep the fuck out! Thanx

related: I used to be your biggest fan

→ 87 CommentsFILED UNDER: Austin · ice · money


Clarifying motion #2

March 12th, 2008 · 110 comments

After a minor breakout, Matt in Toronto “borrowed” his roommate’s Clinique cleanser…and then forgot to put it back where he found it. His (admirably direct) roommate asked if he’d mind not using her Clinique products again in the future, seeing as it was, you know, pretty expensive and not that big of a container. “No problem,” Matt said. Crisis averted!

That is, until last week, when Matt ran out of his own face wash. Instead, he used his roommate’s (again) and then forgot to put it back where he found it (again). The next day, when Matt went to use her cleanser again (after forgetting to stop at the store to buy his own) he found this little Clinique bonus.

I'm sorry Matt, I can't afford for both of us to use my face products. Thx.

Matt’s mea culpa, such as it is: “I shouldn’t have been using her products in the first place, especially after she asked me the first time. I’ll just make sure I never run out of anything ever again!”

related: Is nothing sacred?

→ 110 CommentsFILED UNDER: "accidental" "borrowing" · actually totally reasonable · bathroom · hygiene · roommates · thx · Toronto