A lesson in crime

March 30th, 2008 · 58 comments

Finding funny-haha Engrish signs in Japan is almost too easy, but Biella from New York didn’t settle for cheap laughs during her trip. “Your English is good,” one might say, but this club’s “advisory” about the Tokyo police is pure paranoiac gold.

a lesson in crime

extra credit: Uniformed vigilantes patrol tokyo streets to intimidate slackers [boingboing.net]

→ 58 CommentsFILED UNDER: Clearly a non-native English speaker · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · Tokyo


If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today…

March 28th, 2008 · 99 comments

Well, our anonymous contributor in Pompano Beach, Florida has one for you.

He explains: “I keep a gym membership so that I can feel good about my financial commitment to my health — not so much for the actual health benefits per se. I hadn’t been to the gym in at least two months when I came across this note posted by the showers. (My shower at home was being worked on.) I’m glad I make it a habit to wear sandals in the shower during my quarterly visits.”

ATTENTION   Please refrain from defecating in the shower areas. It is unsanitary and hazardous to the health and well being of our members and staff. Thank you!

related: The Mad Bomber

→ 99 CommentsFILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · Florida · gym · shit · shower · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary


Really, it’s the Canadian thing to do

March 27th, 2008 · 103 comments

Is posting a “polite” sign for the neighbors passive-aggressive? “Perhaps,” says the Washington Post.

from the washington post's

Perhaps this Portland resident could learn a lesson in politeness from our famously good-natured neighbors to the north? Or, um, maybe not.

(Photos from Guy in toronto, via jerrold!)

related: Boston, a place for friends

→ 103 CommentsFILED UNDER: neighbors · Toronto


What, no bubble letters?

March 26th, 2008 · 98 comments

Cameron in Hyde Park, New York brings us this “maybe not-so-classic dorm dispute: girl meets boy, girl likes boy, boy has girlfriend, girl obsesses over boy, boy’s female neighbors post rejection note from boy to girl, girl…threatens neighbors, artistically.”

MIND YOUR BUSINESS, BITCH!

→ 98 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · danger · disturbingly detailed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · MYOB · spurned lover


It’s not a race (it’s a social construct)

March 25th, 2008 · 220 comments

Here’s a trio of notes from California that each make me very uncomfortable…and not just because of the painful lack of irony.

First up: an excerpt from seating guidelines posted at the quaint little Mexican restaurant in Huntington Beach where Brynn used to waitress. So quaint, Brynn says, “They also posted a dress code rule that ladies must wear makeup and skirts could not be below the knee.”

Mexican people prefer a booth

Meanwhile, a little farther south, a construction worker left this note for James in San Diego…while he was parked in front of his own house.

TRY MOVING YOUR TRUCK UP SO THAT ANOTHER ONE CAN FIT ASSHOLE! O WAIT YOUR PROBABLY A FUCKIN MEXICAN!

And the last word goes to this bit of social commentary, which Jen spotted on the window of a soon-to-be-opened restaurant in San Francisco.

Speak English (OK, BITE ME XENOPHOBE!)

related: Je comprends…moi non plus

extra credit: ¡Ask a Mexican!® [ocweekly.com]

→ 220 CommentsFILED UNDER: California · casual xenophobia · parking · restaurant · San Diego · your/you're


Help yourself

March 24th, 2008 · 43 comments

Spotted by doppelfrog at London’s Paddington station…

help yourself

related: Water, water everywhere

→ 43 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · London · rhetorical question · warning · water · whiteboard


I’m pregnant…what’s your excuse?

March 23rd, 2008 · 100 comments

Amanda in Fairhaven, Mass. recently took her sister-in-law in for an ultrasound appointment, and was a little frightened by this sign. (It was posted in three places, both inside and outside the restroom.)

IF YOU ARE HAVING AN ULTRASOUND PLEASE DO NOT EMPTY YOUR BLADDER THIS MEANS YOU!!!

related: Bun — er, pizza in the oven

→ 100 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Massachusetts · piss · preggers


Everything you hate about office culture, in one cringe-inducing note.

March 21st, 2008 · 121 comments

This note represents pretty much everything about office culture that makes me cringe. Appropriately enough, I can’t even bring myself to call out the specifics — it’s just too overwhelming. (But the sign will always be there…every day, taunting me.)

PLEASE MAKE SURE I AM CLOSED I HAVE ALOT OF FOODS IN MY BELLY I DON'T WANT TO GET WARM!

→ 121 CommentsFILED UNDER: alot · anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · fridge · inane cartoon · kinda creepy · mixed metaphors · most popular notes of 2008 · Say wha? · spelling and grammar police · U.K.


My secretary, Sybil

March 19th, 2008 · 126 comments

Dan spotted this triple-bonus-score of a note at the desk of a receptionist in MTV’s New York office. The craziest part, he says? “She leaves it up there all the time, just in case she calls in sick. It’s just up there, all day, in her face, reaffirming her violent disapproval for people invading her personal space.”

my secretary, sybil

related: where angels fear to spit

→ 126 CommentsFILED UNDER: bold-underlined-caps · exclamation-point happy!!!! · overzealous secretary · touching


Not to name names, but…

March 18th, 2008 · 84 comments

World-renowned troublemaker Troy McClure forwards this e-mail from his department’s secretary in Sydney, Australia.

Would anyone know who has taken/borrowed most of the coffee mugs and tea cups from the kitchen on our level?

No big deal, you say? Take a second look at the addressee list. (Yes, JONATHAN, I’m talking to you.)

related: Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm

→ 84 CommentsFILED UNDER: "accidental" "borrowing" · dishes · message to all intended for one · overzealous secretary · Sydney