Je comprends…moi non plus

March 10th, 2008 · 275 comments

Marc in San Francisco spotted this at a restaurant in the Haight called All You Knead (have fun with those puns, kids). I can certainly empathize, but after reading some of the reviews…well, maybe there’s a reason the tips aren’t so great.

Attention foreign travelers...a quick guide to the wacky American custom of tipping

related: A friendly tip from your waitress

→ 275 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · Francais · restaurant · San Francisco · tipping


When you can’t blame the dog

March 6th, 2008 · 127 comments

Spotted by Maureen in Cincinnati, Ohio…

Please excuse the odor in the ladies room. It is being caused by the City of Dayton. We are currently taking action against the City to correct this problem.

(Actually, just kidding — it’s from a conference center in Dayton. But how great would that be?)

related: Blame it on Coke

→ 127 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · Dayton · odor · Ohio


No, He uses Vaseline

March 4th, 2008 · 187 comments

Myra spotted this note at the fine dining establishment known as Tudor’s Biscuit World in Roanoke, Virginia. (For the record, she says, don’t believe the hype — the biscuits aren’t all that great. But if you’re looking for a place to bear witness…)

Would Jesus steal jelly?

related: There you go, bringing Him into it again

→ 187 CommentsFILED UNDER: guilt trip · Jesus · restaurant · stealing · Virginia


An occasion that Blue Mountain Arts has yet to animate

March 3rd, 2008 · 96 comments

The “Thanks for forgetting my birthday, asshole” thank-you note: Because the only thing that would have made this e-mail from Rebecca’s (32-year-old) brother any better is a midi file soundtrack and a dancing elephant or two.

yesterday was my birthday. thanks

Adds Rebecca: “My resulting apology just yielded more hate-filled e-mails from him — nevermind that I was camping and he lives in another country which I can’t call from my cell phone! I should have taken the advice of another contributor to this site who said there is no correct way to respond to a passive-aggressive note.”

related: two birds with one snowman

→ 96 CommentsFILED UNDER: birthday · cry me a freaking river · e-mail · most popular notes of 2008 · Orlando · siblings · thanks (but not really)


Oxford drama

March 2nd, 2008 · 132 comments

Our submitter found this glorious piece of work on the door to the common room at her Oxford University dorm. “The guy who left it was a 6’5 redheaded dude who wore cravats,” she says. “No one was gonna fuck with him.” (I don’t really understand the causality there, but I’m gonna let that one go.)

I will give Dustin this much, though: through the pain, he always tells the truth.

I broke a glass because I don't always know my own strength

related: come get some

→ 132 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · just an asshole · most popular notes of 2008 · signed with love · U.K. · warning


Bun — er, pizza — in the oven

February 29th, 2008 · 125 comments

Zakir in Montreal came home one night to find his roommate, Tristan ferociously scribbling this note for his other roommate, Vincent.  Apparently, Tristan was baking cookies on Saturday night (aww) and when he turned on the stove, the entire apartment filled with smoke from the charred cardboard from Vince’s frozen pizza.

Says Zakir: “Vincent’s reply to the note was gold. He yelled: ‘Well, maybe next time you should CHECK the oven before you turn it on….WHAT IF THERE WAS A BABY IN THERE?!’ and then slammed his door behind him.”

Vince. Let this be a message to your other pizza cardboards. Take your cardboards out of the oven! -Tristan

Adds Zakir: “I’m not sure if those are hearts or flames all over the note, but I do know Tristan‘s face was scrunched with anger as he wrote it.”

Meanwhile, in Clemson, S.C…there is a baby in that oven.

This [redacted]'s pizza. [Redacted] is pregnant. If you know what is best for you, you will not eat a pregnant women's [sic] food. :) Love, ME!!

related: must have been a pretty big bite

→ 125 CommentsFILED UNDER: double-entendre alert · heart · Montreal · oven · pizza · preggers · smiley · South Carolina · spelling and grammar police


And my beef sandwich and my yogurt

February 28th, 2008 · 82 comments

Spotted by Sarah in Minneapolis…

related: take out of box, place directly in toilet

→ 82 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · food · FYI · Minneapolis/St. Paul · office fridge


Stop, Hammertime!

February 26th, 2008 · 84 comments

So, after seeing this note from Daily Piglet in Columbia, South Carolina:

DO NOT TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT EVER!!!

And this one, from Anna in Providence, Rhode Island:

Do Not Touch! Ever!!!!

And this doozy from an anonymous San Francisco office worker…

DON'T TOUCH!!!! DON'T TOUCH!!!

Is it any wonder that this photo from afroswede‘s flickrstream (and others) came to mind?

can’t touch this

(Meanwhile, over at bethany’s “blog”…u can touch this.)

related: Can I lick it?

→ 84 CommentsFILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Providence · San Francisco · South Carolina · temperature · touching


You can do it. We can’t help.

February 25th, 2008 · 91 comments

Julie spotted this amazing note on New York’s Lower East Side…

I WANT MY MONEY I WILL POST SIGNS ALL OVER HOME DEPOT IF I DON'T GET IT BY TODAY

(Dude, how ominous are those ellipses?)

related: Movin’ out (Anthony’s song)

→ 91 CommentsFILED UNDER: crazypants · money · not-so-veiled threats · Say wha?


But Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted

February 24th, 2008 · 109 comments

Charlie in Hopkinton, Massachusetts (age 17) and his little brother (age 15) spent a good deal of time scheming about how to respond to their mother’s notes around the bathroom before deciding upon shaving cream as their weapon of choice.

p.s. Matilda: the most passive-aggressive child in fiction? (Also, Muggle-wump: the most passive-aggressive monkey?) discuss!

related: Living with an adolescent (abridged)

→ 109 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · Massachusetts · Moms & Dads