Writes our anonymous submitter: “I work as a payment processor for a local ambulance company. I see lots of notes scribbled on bills, but this one was a first. At least he/she is honest! :)”

related: three cents for the saliva

The school in Los Angeles where Anna works is under renovation, so a lot of the kids cut through the library on their way to and from the cafeteria. Recently, one of these fine young scholars spilled an entire basket of fries…and kept walking. One of Anna’s coworkers picked them up, but he missed one. another coworker posted this note.

The amazing thing, Anna says, is that the sign actually worked. “The student came in, took responsibility and even apologized.” Happy meals all around!

related: No sarcasm left behind
extra credit: The real Grimace [youtube]

Reason #962 why I’m happy Facebook wasn’t around when I was in high school…

related: 2 good 2b 4gotten
extra credit: Judy “just kidding” Grimes [SNL]

Homero in Portland had just finished heating up his lunch in the office microwave when he returned to his desk to find this “helpful” note — attached to an ad from the local alt-weekly — waiting on his chair. Though it’s unsigned, he says he’s pretty sure he knows which coworker left it for him. “She’s kind of socially stunted, but seems to think that a) she’s very funny and b) we’re BFF,” Homero says. “Um…no.”

related: WoW, indeed

You gotta love my Grandma Cookie — she’s always looking out for my figure!

(This is why the Seder calls for the drinking of four cups of wine.)

related: too many
extra credit: our stomachs, ourselves [heeb]

Writes Bailey in Oklahoma: “My nine-year-old brother hung the original note on his door when I came home from college for Christmas. After I laughed it off, he left a special note just for me. When I walked in anyway, he yelled, “Didn’t you see the sign?!?’ I can’t believe I’m being patronized by a third-grader.”

(Don’t worry, Bailey, you’re not the only one.)

related: No kids allowed!

After six months of backpacking through Australia, my former roommate Robin stopped by her mom’s house on Long Island to unload her giant pack of souvenirs, leftover trail mix, and unwashed underwear. Her crucial mistake — besides the basic one: returning back home to mom as an adult — leaving an unopened can of planter’s peanuts on the floor of her room…within sight of her mom, who is, um, deathly allergic to peanuts.

The note she left was simple enough, but for Robin, the subtext was clear: “What, you’ve been back one day, and already you’re trying to kill me?”

“Honestly, I’m pretty surprised she didn’t add in ‘…OR I WILL DIE!!!’ at the end,” says Robin. “But the dirty looks I got from my stepdad the rest of the day basically said as much.” After getting a very thorough talking-to the next day about the finer points of washing cast-iron cookware, she decided it was definitely time to get her own place.

related: Cleaning party!

Like this phrase, there are a few irritating little pieces of clip art that keep popping up in submissions over and over again. Hovering somewhere near the top of most-wanted list is this pouty little white-gloved dandy.

From the factories of Pittsburgh…

…to the cube-farms of Virginia, this perspiring misanthrope has been spreading his message of intolerance with impunity.

But, once again, it’s a note from a church bathroom (this one spotted by Jess in Boston) that really pushes things to a whole new level of divine didacticism.

Can I get a witness?!

related: clip art crimes

“Not long before I left my previous job writing reviews of video games, I got this little gem from someone involved in the production of a game I didn’t exactly care for,” Alex says. “Game-makers bitching about reviews is nothing new, but rarely do they do it with as much sarcastic flair as this one does.”

related: An occasion that Blue Mountain Arts has yet to animate

Cameron says the window cases in her college dorm are typically filled with run-of-the-mill upcoming event calendars or bland motivational posters, so this educational display caught her a little off guard.

related: No bread and circuses! But maybe an ice cream social?