Dealing with the rantings of your crazy boss or overzealous receptionist is one thing, but what do you do when your office’s resident passive-aggressive note-leaver doesn’t even work there? Casey in San Diego (a.k.a. RunBarbara) says that’s the situation she’s found herself in at her job.
The offender, Sandra, “has met me a total of twice, both times for less than a minute,” Casey says. Yet for some reason, when Sandra (the aunt of the owner) stops by the office once a week to water the plants and drop off supplies, “she leaves these strange notes EVERYWHERE — and she almost always directs questions about said notes to me,” Casey says. “I often have no idea she posts these notes until someone asks me about the odd directions in them.”
Below, a small sampling of Sandra’s delightfully bizarrre directives. (Just click on the photos to enlarge.)
I’d like to think this note was posted immediately following the “potluck”…
related: The return of Thx Sandra!
FILED UNDER: bathroom · battle of the sexes · blitzkrieg approach · California · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · most popular notes of 2008 · office cop · party planning committee · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · thx · toilet · unnecessary "quotation marks" · vomit · You call that punctuation?
Spotted by Anna on the wall of an apartment complex in Phoenix…
Meanwhile, in Ottawa…it’s comforting to know that even when Mom isn’t there to do your laundry, she can still help you guilt-trip your neighbors.
related: I wiped between my legs with those towels!
FILED UNDER: guilt trip · karma's a bitch · laundry · Moms & Dads · Ottawa · p.s. · Phoenix · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · TL;DR
“I work for a pretty awesome non-profit, where people are amazingly laidback, accepting and non-OCD,” says our anonymous submitter in San Francisco — so this note came as something of a surprise.
Adds our submitter: “I have to admit, seeing the newspaper on top of the toilet tank the previous week had kinda gotten on my nerves too.”
related: oh dear
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · newspaper · office · San Francisco · toilet
The word “newsflash,” like the phrase “no offense,” is an early indicator that what follows is probably going to be something pretty bitchy. Unless, of course, you’re watching TV news, in which case the word “newsflash” more likely heralds the announcement of a hard-hitting segment about the household product in your kitchen that could be killing your children. Either way: proceed with caution.
Exhibit a) from roommate to roommate, Chicago
Exhibit b) from mother to daughter, Irving, Texas
Exhibit c) the pointed use of song lyrics in a Facebook status update
Exhibit d) stating the obvious
related: No offense! (just kidding) No worries! (just kidding)
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · Facebook · garbage · ice · Moms & Dads · office · roommates · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · whiteboard
Sure, it’d be easier and quicker to just clean it up. But the modern passive-aggressive (like Katey in Berkeley’s ex-roommate) can’t pass up the opportunity to make a point.
A common variation on the Van der Rohe approach, as documented below by Sam in Dallas, is the so-called “Reverse Magritte.”
Meanwhile, post-modern passive-aggressives (like this New York office-worker below) can’t resist throwing some irony into the mix, intentional or not.
More recently, passive-aggressives have begun to show the influence of the burgeoning neo-pop movement. Our anonymous submitter in Houston, for example, designed the original stamp below for use in his work. “I am an engineer and we have to mark up technical drawings for manufacture,” he explains, in his artist’s statement. “It gets used at least twice a day.”
The bleeding-edge of passive-aggressive note-writing, however, lies on the west coast, where Rebecca in San Francisco says that in the past, “We’ve had an ongoing series of notes left in the office kitchen — usually of the ‘your mother doesn’t work here’ or ‘there is no such thing as the coffee fairy’ variety.” The Koons-inspired piece currently on display in the office breakroom, however, makes its point with no words at all.
FILED UNDER: actions speak louder · art · Berkeley · cleaning · Houston · New York · Oakland · obnoxious definition · office · roommates · San Francisco · WTF?
“On our sorority dorm floor, the girls decorate their doors with pictures and various sorority decorations,” explains Kimberly in Knoxville, Tennessee. But when one of Kimberly’s sorority sisters noticed a few of her pictures were missing, she was like, really not happy. So, over the course of several days, she made her feelings known.
Reports Kimberly: “No worries though — the pictures were finally returned.”
related: How hazing rituals are born
FILED UNDER: and that's an order · college life · Knoxville · sorority girls · stealing · Tennessee
This lovely little exchange from Seattle comes to us via the ever-brilliant Dan Savage at The Stranger. It reads a bit like a “SAHM vs. WOHM” face-off on Urbanbaby, with blessedly fewer acronyms.
(More backstory and larger versions of the photos over at the slog.)
related: There’s Hertz…and there’s “not exactly”
FILED UNDER: neighbors · oh snap · parking · Seattle
Writes Bibs in Tacoma, Washington: “My sophomore year in college, I was placed in a campus house with six other girls I didn’t know. To say the least, we did not really get along, but we made a chore chart so we would all at least have a semi-clean house to live in.” At least, that was the idea.
Things broke down when one of the housemates, Cindy, was confronted with the reality of seven girls sharing one bathroom. After this little display, Bibs says, the chore wheel pretty much went to hell.
related: Landmine in my bloodline
FILED UNDER: cleaning · college life · excessive underlining · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · inappropriate word EMPHASIS · not cool · roommates · spelling and grammar police · Tacoma · to/too · visual aids
Our anonymous submitter spotted these notes in the shared kitchen of a “professional building” — one our submitter says is full of shrinks. Perhaps one of them could deduce whether “i.e. me” fits the DSM’s criteria for a diagnosis…or whether she’s just having a little trouble with her Latin.
related: eau dear
extra credit: “food odors at work” [chowhound.com]
FILED UNDER: casual xenophobia · food · Freudian shit · i.e. or e.g. it's all greek -- or is it latin? -- to me · odor · office fridge · oh snap
Kasey in Tucson spotted this orgy of vending-machine notes in the Anthropology department of the University of Arizona. Says Kasey, “They just keep adding up. I think the Pepsi man is either amused by them or just doesn’t care.” Perhaps…or maybe he’s just hanging back until he has enough material for his dissertation on non-verbal communication among 21st century north americans.
related: Blame it on Coke
extra credit: “look up lithotripsy” [wikipedia]
FILED UNDER: beverages · college life · look it up · saga · Tucson · vending machine drama