Well, ho ho ho

December 23rd, 2007 · 88 comments

As we’ve seen this week, notes re: the neighbor’s constantly barking dog often end up being less passive-aggressive and more out-and-out aggressive. But as Matt noticed, this San Francisco resident was able to put a festive holiday spin on the old not-so-veiled threat.

NO ONE CAN BEAT UP SANTA YOU ARE GETTING CLOSE TO COALS P.S. I WANT THAT DOG FOR MY SLEIGH

related: Oh, the irony

→ 88 CommentsFILED UNDER: Christmas · dogs · holiday spirit · neighbors · noise · San Francisco


And what’s your Christmas wish?

December 20th, 2007 · 105 comments

Two heartwarming notes brimming with compassion and holiday cheer!

If you're found sleeping on this porch, we will not disturb you or ask you to leave...we'll just call the police and have them haul your homeless ass away...so find somewhere else to sleep and piss

If you dog continues to bark past midnight, I will break into your home, steal it, and feed the little fucker to the homeless on Pearl Street. Happy Holidays

related: a holiday wish

→ 105 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boulder · Christmas · dogs · heartwarming compassion · holiday spirit · Los Angeles · piss · pleasantries as afterthought · the homeless


2good 2b 4gotten

December 19th, 2007 · 107 comments

Margaret says she and her high school classmate Gertrude had a “well-established mutual loathing” — but of course, that’s no reason not to sign each other’s senior yearbooks!

(God, I love teenage girls. Frenemies 4-eva!)

Margaret, you are quite an interesting person...I can ALMOST say that I am going to miss you and I'm sure you feel the same about me. Love, Gertrude

related: Gossip Boy

→ 107 CommentsFILED UNDER: frenemies · schools & teachers · signed with love


These walls are NOT soundproof.

December 18th, 2007 · 135 comments

Jared says this sign was posted in both the men’s and women’s restrooms at his office in Salt Lake City, Utah. “It seems that someone does not like hearing people ‘pushing,’” he says.

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS! Conversations and bodily function noises can be heard by others outside this room. THESE WALLS ARE NOT SOUNDPROOF.

related: Are you there, Margaret? God, could you be any more disgusting?


→ 135 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · eww · excessive underlining · noise · office · privacy · Salt Lake City · that's disgusting


Passive (voice) abuse

December 17th, 2007 · 155 comments

Amber received this amazing note in an envelope on her doorstep in Sacramento. “I have no idea which neighbor sent this to me, but I can only assume it was the paranoid-looking woman who lives above me,” she says. “But I don’t do drugs. I don’t even smoke cigarettes!”

I suspect illicit drug use

related: Don’t hate the playa

→ 155 CommentsFILED UNDER: a little uptight · drugs · holiday spirit · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · odor · passive voice · Sacramento


Clip art crimes

December 16th, 2007 · 144 comments

Which clip art extravaganza is the most gratuitous? You be the judge!

Is it this sign, from the Virginia office of — of course — a major mobile carrier?

If you are reading this sign and you are on your phone, please take your call to the atrium.

Is it this little tea party of a sign from Cambridge, Mass.?

ATTENTION TEA DRINKERS!!

Or is it this one, from, yes, a church restroom?

Please Do Not Trash This Bathroom Thank You

related: Cubicle etiquette

→ 144 CommentsFILED UNDER: all clogged up · bathroom · Boston · cell phone · clip art catastrophe · Jesus · Massachusetts · office · tea · Virginia · you be the judge · you're like so going to hell


Actually, we just hate you

December 13th, 2007 · 99 comments

“We really don’t hate the holidays,” says our anonymous foreign-policy elf in Washington, D.C., “just passive-aggressive coworkers.”

Holiday haters?

related: Perhaps a committee to assess the health of the committee?

→ 99 CommentsFILED UNDER: D.C. · e-mail · holiday spirit · money · office · party planning committee · spelling and grammar police


So much for turning the other cheek

December 13th, 2007 · 140 comments

Thanks to Sarah for capturing this delicious little slice of life from her Christian college in Illinois. (Delicious like a quart of Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge, not one measly little low-fat Frappucino bar.)

Dear Sinner, I specifically wrote on the box of Starbuck's Frappucino bars Don't Touch! But did that stop you. No instead you took the liberty of taking my last one!

related: but He took the wheel

→ 140 CommentsFILED UNDER: apostrophe abuse · college life · excessive underlining · heart · ice cream · Illinois · irregular capitalization · not-so-veiled threats · spelling and grammar police · touching · You call that punctuation? · you're like so going to hell


Adio, amigo

December 12th, 2007 · 103 comments

Our anonymous submitter saw this note posted on the door to the walk-in cooler at a convenience store in Boerne, Texas. “The clerk told me that the Red Bull delivery guy had been drinking Red Bull and leaving the empty cans on the floor of the walk-in,” our submitter says. “In her words, ‘he was knockin’ himself off!’”

adio, amigo

(the full scene)

but it gives you wings

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books.”

→ 103 CommentsFILED UNDER: beverages · CAPS LOCK · message to all intended for one · spelling and grammar police · stealing


Seriously!?!

December 11th, 2007 · 59 comments

The inimitable Jeff Rubin passes along this note from the foyer of his Park Slope apartment building. Yup, that’s what you think it is there on the floor. (Perhaps a hapless victim of the bag-tampering deliquent?)

2062270837_08428f5927.jpg

(Jeff says the mess was cleaned up when he checked a few hours later.)

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Brooklyn, confusion still reigns.

Pick up after your dog!!! You are not an animal?

related: Oh, shit!

→ 59 CommentsFILED UNDER: Brooklyn · confusion??? · dogs · Park Slope · shit