It always comes down to the toilet paper.

January 16th, 2008 · 69 comments

Our anonymous submitter received this note after playing host to his friend’s band. In his defense, he says, “the house was not messy.” and, besides, “I never leave him notes when I do normal household chores like emptying the dishwasher and taking the trash out.”

I cleaned the kitchen, emptied the dishwasher, and took out the trash. I would appreciate if you clean my with bathroom which got purely abused by your friends.

Adds our submitter: “Oh, and he can’t count — it was seven guys.” (Quite a Michelle-esque touch, no?)

related: Martyr complex much?

→ 69 CommentsFILED UNDER: band · bathroom · paper product fairy · roommates · that's disgusting · toilet paper


Mad Man

January 15th, 2008 · 92 comments

It was a “killer busy” week at the office, so Gord in Ontario admits that he and his ad-business coworkers left the place in a certain state of disarray. (Such is the wont of “creative professionals.”) Unfortunately, the boss chose that weekend to pop in to give some people an impromptu tour. On Monday, these adorable little thought balloons were posted all around the office.

I don't want anything on the floor again! Ever! Ger this crap off the floor and into an organized area. This is DISGUSTING. You've spilled coffee on MY books.

THIS PLACE IS A FUCKING SHITHOUSE. Boys, this is a man's business - it's an image business, I don't know how far you expect to go with this company but I can tell you right now - I will only associate myself with people who show professional attitude to every phase. If you want to survive you'd better start thinking like business men.

The boss never mentioned the incident again. But rationalizing, it seems, that a sleeping dog is just a dog waiting to be kicked, Gord and his coworkers turned the notes into a T-shirt.

related: Is this what a post-post-feminist looks like?

→ 92 CommentsFILED UNDER: Canada · CAPS LOCK · casual sexism · cleaning · office · Ontario · that's disgusting · that's unprofessional


This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

January 14th, 2008 · 75 comments

Amanda spotted this on the door of the post office in Milford, Pennsylvania. (Confidential to the fecal matter general: Dude, I know recycling can be a hassle sometimes, but this seems like a little much.)

Please help us catch the customer that is depositing FECES in our lobby trash cans lobby trash is only for paper trash

Perhaps the Brooklynites who issued this poetical preemptive warning knew what they were doing all along…

a legionnaire's idea of epigrammatic wit

related: this is why your server is cranky

→ 75 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · garbage · going postal · more like crazy · Pennsylvania · shit


“Take out of box, place directly in toilet”

January 13th, 2008 · 85 comments

After noticing a tell-tale crisping sleeve in the garbage, Charlie in New York spotted this helpful directive on the office fridge.

TO WHOEVER ATE MY LEAN POCKETS: THIS PICTURE SHOULD HELP WHEN YOU GO TO THE STORE TO REPLACE THEM

(Though if you ask Jim Gaffigan, the thief was really doing the guy a favor.)

related: I swear this isn’t some kind of viral marketing campaign

→ 85 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · New York · office fridge · stealing · visual aids


Or possilly, that no body ‘b’ there

January 12th, 2008 · 74 comments

Mishee was about to go ahead and just pay for that Snapple…until she saw this colorful little note at a drugstore in Sunnyvale, California. Phew!

attn.JPG

UPDATE: Mishee (ever the overachiever) has returned to the scene to satisfy your curiosity about the signs behind the signs…and finds her Snapple-drinking plans foiled in the process!

Photobucket

related: If it weren’t for the toilet, there would be no books

→ 74 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bathroom · California · sad face · Silicon Valley · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"


When peevish college girls attack!

January 10th, 2008 · 105 comments

When Julie in Elkhart, Indiana saw this note from her roommate, Molly…

Molly's Pet Peive [sic]: Drippy Faucets. Please turn them off completely when you are done. Thanks

…she decided it was time to go on the offensive.

Julie's pet peeve: spelling errors! If you want me to take you seriously, make an effort :)

Then came the counter attack…

Molly's 2nd pet peeve: Having to tell ppl to turn the facet [sic] off in the first place

…and then Julie photographed the exchange and sent it to us.

When peevish college girls attack!

Game, set, match.

related: I know where she lives

→ 105 CommentsFILED UNDER: awk abbrev · Indiana · most popular notes of 2008 · note wars · oh snap · roommates · smiley · spelling and grammar police


More like hardly working

January 9th, 2008 · 133 comments

Mara in Minneapolis ( average temperature in January: 12° F/-11° C) says the worst job she’s ever had was at a local thrift store — and not because of the crazy customers and their indiscreet use of the fitting rooms. No, like many workers, the crazy person driving Mara crazy was her boss — the author of the masterpiece below.

NO ONE IS TO TOUCH THE THERMOSTATS. It is always cold in the morning so wear a sweatshirt, when it warms up from the lights and the sun and I hope because you're working hard take it off. What a great concept. (I made it up myself that's why I am the manager.)

Mara says she lasted three weeks before her boss made her so angry that she walked out and never looked back. (No, not even to leave a little surprise behind in the bath—er, fitting room. That’s management-level thinking, folks.)

related: When nature calls

→ 133 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · crazy boss · Minneapolis/St. Paul · now that's management · retail hell · runaway run-on sentences · temperature


Upset girl (living in a very white bread world)

January 8th, 2008 · 152 comments

Chonny lives in Manhattan apartment with three spirited roommates, and they enjoy, on occasion, knocking back a few glasses of wine for an impromptu roomie-bonding sing-a-long.

“One night around 10, after a particularly taxing day, we decided to bring the vibe down with a little Peter Gabriel,” Chonny says. “As we all belted out ‘In Your Eyes’ — with a couple of tears in ours — we heard a voice shout across the alley, “YOUR MUSIC SUCKS!” The next day, one of our uptown girls found this note pasted to the callbox downstairs.

upset girl (living in a very white bread world)

Adds Chonny: “What really upsets me is that the writer doesn’t know the difference between Peter and Billy. Shall we move onto Bon Jovi?”

related: it was an ironic dance party, okay?; movin’ out (anthony’s song)

→ 152 CommentsFILED UNDER: a matter of taste · music · neighbors · New York


The Holy See of the W.C.

January 6th, 2008 · 94 comments

Octavio in Munich says that his landlord (who shares the same apartment) is a regular high priest of paternalistic little — the entire flat is covered with them. On the bathroom wall, for example, this glorious collage is what stares back at those seated on the throne. (Altogether now: “holy shiße!”)

going OUT?... must turn the light OFFFF!!!  so, then... byeeeee!...  please!!! use the toilet brush!!!
going OUT?…
must turn the light OFFFF!!!

so, then…
byeeeee!…

please!!!
use the toilet brush!!!

.

→ 94 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · Deutsche · landlords and property managers · lighting · Munich · toilet · turning on/off


Is nothing sacred?

January 5th, 2008 · 139 comments

Poor Chase.

This was my brand new toorthbrush, given to me, special by the dentist because I brush my gums toohard. It has softer bristles than you can buy in the sotre. Thanks a lot "whoever!" Enjoy the toothbrush! I told you writing my name wouldn't change anything!

related: WoW, indeed

→ 139 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · hygiene · New Jersey · roommates · thanks (but not really)