When nature calls

January 2nd, 2008 · 128 comments

I thought it was pretty crazy when Jessie sent in this sign from a thrift store in Wilmington, North Carolina a few months years back…

PLEASE DO NOT USE DRESSING ROOMS AS A RESTROOM IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY ASK FOR MANAGER. No utilice por favor los cuartos de preparacion como banos. En caso de que una emergencia, pida encargado.

Then Ashley sent in this eerily similar note from a thrift store in Barnegat, New Jersey. “The first time I noticed it, there was only one note,” Ashley says. “Weeks later, when I came back to photograph it, they had added a second. Obviously, just the one note on the door wasn’t getting the point across. How do they know that the perp doesn’t only speaks French? That could be the reason for the recurring problem.”

This is NOT a restroom. If you have an urgent necessary JUST ASK. You can use our restroom.

And still, it continues!

Alice saw one at a thrift store in Tennessee…

When I catch the low life piece of trash (And I will) using my dressing room to urineate in, instead of the bathroom, I will have you arrested. You are a vile, disgusting person and if you don't like this message, Come See Me! Owner Mangr

Caity in New Orleans spotted another at Goodwill in Covington, Louisiana…

THIS IS NOT A RESTROOM.  Ask cashier for directions to restroom.  DO NOT use fitting room to use for restroom.  Management

And now this, from Stephanie in Wichita, Kansas. Says Stephanie: “For years at our neighborhood DAV thrift store there’s been a dressing room that has smelled like pee. Turns out we weren’t imagining it!”

Please Don't Use Our Dressing Rooms As A Bathroom....Thank You

Seriously, what is it about thrift store fitting rooms?

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

→ 128 CommentsFILED UNDER: Kansas · Louisiana · New Jersey · North Carolina · piss · retail hell · shit · Tennessee · that's disgusting · Wilmington · WTF?


Your move, “officer”

January 1st, 2008 · 63 comments

Emily from Boston summed this one up beautifully, so I’m going to let her take it away. Writes Emily:

1. I’m not making this up.

2. The 389 Highland Ave referred to in the note is a shop called “Your Move Games.” They have a basement where dorky kids congregate and play D&D and WoW and such. Evidently the author and his six witnesses are patrons.


3. Not only is the number six circled, but it is underlined — not once, not twice, but three times.

4. Note the close up. Under the crossed out section it reads “go fuck yourself you corrupt [something i can't make out]. Whatever it was, he rethought his wording and decided to go with a subtler “you’re corrupt.”

I'm not paying this, you're corrupt.

Seriously, this note is a work of art.

related: nice try

→ 63 CommentsFILED UNDER: gaming · Massachusetts · parking · raging against the machine · Somerville · that's illegal · the po-po


Happy New Year!

December 31st, 2007 · 47 comments

merry christmas from sydney

(And much love to our submitter Robin in Sydney!)

→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: drizzunk · holiday spirit · spelling and grammar police · Sydney


The sincerest form of passive-aggression

December 30th, 2007 · 45 comments

Laura in Boston says one of the restrooms at her school is a real note bonanza. The inside of the stall features no fewer than four individual notes about proper flushing etiquette, and immediately outside the restroom are two (slightly contradictory notes) about proper door opening/closing procedure.

this is a single-person bathroom

But what’s most interesting? How a couple of those notes look awfully familiar...

the sincerest form of passive-aggression

the sincerest form of passive-aggression

related: Passive perfectionism; Et tu, Dora?

→ 45 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · blitzkrieg approach · Boston · meta · opening/closing · toilet


Office anthropomorphism

December 29th, 2007 · 65 comments

Many offices, it seems, are a regular Disneyland of what only appear to be inanimate objects. The evidence?

From Frank in San Francisco, a sentient sponge:

USE ME RINSE ME + help keep me from getting ICKY! Thank you, Sponge

From Amy in Annapolis, Maryland, a talking toilet:

DID YOU FLUSH ME AND WIPE OFF MY SEAT????

From Ben in San Antonio, Texas, a talking door:

I noticed I am not shut when people enter or exit. Please make sure I am shut upon exiting or entering. -The Door

And then there’s my favorite – from an anonymous submitter in Washington, D.C. – a talking (and walking) microwave:

If You Guys Don't Keep Me Clean I'm walking away from you If you don't Believe TRY M

(Most baffling…where on earth did that clip art come from?)

related: I guess that’s why

→ 65 CommentsFILED UNDER: Annapolis · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · confusion??? · D.C. · irregular capitalization · Maryland · microwave · opening/closing · San Antonio · San Francisco · Texas · toilet


Well, ho ho ho

December 23rd, 2007 · 88 comments

As we’ve seen this week, notes re: the neighbor’s constantly barking dog often end up being less passive-aggressive and more out-and-out aggressive. But as Matt noticed, this San Francisco resident was able to put a festive holiday spin on the old not-so-veiled threat.

NO ONE CAN BEAT UP SANTA YOU ARE GETTING CLOSE TO COALS P.S. I WANT THAT DOG FOR MY SLEIGH

related: Oh, the irony

→ 88 CommentsFILED UNDER: Christmas · dogs · holiday spirit · neighbors · noise · San Francisco


And what’s your Christmas wish?

December 20th, 2007 · 105 comments

Two heartwarming notes brimming with compassion and holiday cheer!

If you're found sleeping on this porch, we will not disturb you or ask you to leave...we'll just call the police and have them haul your homeless ass away...so find somewhere else to sleep and piss

If you dog continues to bark past midnight, I will break into your home, steal it, and feed the little fucker to the homeless on Pearl Street. Happy Holidays

related: a holiday wish

→ 105 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boulder · Christmas · dogs · heartwarming compassion · holiday spirit · Los Angeles · piss · pleasantries as afterthought · the homeless


2good 2b 4gotten

December 19th, 2007 · 107 comments

Margaret says she and her high school classmate Gertrude had a “well-established mutual loathing” — but of course, that’s no reason not to sign each other’s senior yearbooks!

(God, I love teenage girls. Frenemies 4-eva!)

Margaret, you are quite an interesting person...I can ALMOST say that I am going to miss you and I'm sure you feel the same about me. Love, Gertrude

related: Gossip Boy

→ 107 CommentsFILED UNDER: frenemies · schools & teachers · signed with love


These walls are NOT soundproof.

December 18th, 2007 · 135 comments

Jared says this sign was posted in both the men’s and women’s restrooms at his office in Salt Lake City, Utah. “It seems that someone does not like hearing people ‘pushing,’” he says.

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS! Conversations and bodily function noises can be heard by others outside this room. THESE WALLS ARE NOT SOUNDPROOF.

related: Are you there, Margaret? God, could you be any more disgusting?


→ 135 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · eww · excessive underlining · noise · office · privacy · Salt Lake City · that's disgusting


Passive (voice) abuse

December 17th, 2007 · 155 comments

Amber received this amazing note in an envelope on her doorstep in Sacramento. “I have no idea which neighbor sent this to me, but I can only assume it was the paranoid-looking woman who lives above me,” she says. “But I don’t do drugs. I don’t even smoke cigarettes!”

I suspect illicit drug use

related: Don’t hate the playa

→ 155 CommentsFILED UNDER: a little uptight · drugs · holiday spirit · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · odor · passive voice · Sacramento