Deborah in Townsville, Australia says her 9-year-old son, Connor, made this card for her husband, a keen cyclist. “Clearly, Connor is aware of the inherently risky nature of cycling,” Deborah says. “Either that or the word ‘dead’ just rhymed well.”
![Dad you are great at sport. You always support. But when it is time to go to bed I always just pray your [sic] not dead.](http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8439/7946822546_445f521f5d_b.jpg "Dad you are great at sport. You always support. But when it is time to go to bed I always just pray your [sic] not dead.")
related: My Dad weighs 15 pounds, does not have a job, and likes to wear shirts.
→ 22 CommentsFILED UNDER: Australia · Father-son notes · kids · Moms & Dads · pure poetry
Today’s special comes to us from New York City, at the entrance to the building’s roof deck. (Just in time for summer, when the entire city already smells like urine and garbage!)
Meanwhile, Jenny spotted this outside a three-story office building in Vancouver, B.C.
related: Dear Bob, please do not pee out your bedroom window
→ 30 CommentsFILED UNDER: dogs · ellipses-crazed · New York · newspaper · noise · piss · shit
→ 42 CommentsFILED UNDER: dishes · London · meta · rebuttals · roommates
At first glance, I definitely thought was one of those “don’t feed the zoo animals” signs. But then, whoa, an Aussie 180! Roz in Perth says the “fairly militant kitchen brigade” at her office posts notes like this all over the kitchen.
![Did you know? 1. Ge[c]kos and other reptiles need to lay on top of rocks to keep warm 2. Plates, cups, spoons and forks aren't reptiles. They are subterranean creatures that need to be deep down inside cupboards and drawers. Thanks for washing & putting away your subterranean creatures!](http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8270/9019787013_c14c77a652.jpg "Did you know? 1. Ge[c]kos and other reptiles need to lay on top of rocks to keep warm 2. Plates, cups, spoons and forks aren't reptiles. They are subterranean creatures that need to be deep down inside cupboards and drawers. Thanks for washing & putting away your subterranean creatures!")
related: The saddest zoo in the world
→ 19 CommentsFILED UNDER: Australia · dishes · office
Mike spotted this in one of the restrooms at his Atlanta office. As amused as he was by the snarky comment-ALL CAPS-clip art combo, “I can’t say I disagree with the note,” says Mike. “That’s just gross.”
related: Don’t vom in the urinals, either
→ 70 CommentsFILED UNDER: Atlanta · bathroom · clip art catastrophe · most popular notes of 2013 · office · vomit
“It would appear my co-worker is sensitive to her plant being moved,” writes Claire in the U.K.
Meanwhile, in New York…
And in Baltimore…
related: Pigs do not eat bacon
→ 24 CommentsFILED UNDER: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · moving/not moving · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · toilet
Writes our submitter in Phoenix: “Apparently, the baggage handlers at Southwest did not appreciate my ‘love note’ baggage tag and felt the need to respond — in permanent marker.”
Adds our submitter: “In my defense, I would like to point out that my bag was 46 lb., which is still under the airline’s weight limit, and I, at 5’2″, had no trouble lifting it.”
related: If the TSA was in charge of the office fridge
→ 138 CommentsFILED UNDER: airport · most popular notes of 2013 · Phoenix
But…but…where is Elemenopee?
(Thanks to Erika in California, Angela in Illinois, and Victoria in Texas for submitting.)
related: A recipe for passive-aggressiveness
→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: obnoxious definition · office · smartass
Oh look, another sentient kitchen appliance. This time, with allergies.
(As spotted by Julie in her Provo, Utah college cafeteria.)
related: The very needy dishwasher
→ 31 CommentsFILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · kitchen · Provo · smartass
Many cultures throughout history have used urine in the process of tanning [animal hides]. As Amanda in Colorado shows us, that tradition continues today among the animals that frequent the tanning salons of America!
The takeaway? Whether your poison is sun, spray, or fake-and-bake, it comes with a lovely combination of cancer and piss on the side. (I’m gonna stick with my SPF.)
related: The Golden Glow of the Tanning Salon
extra credit: Newsflash! Sunscreen works. [nytimes.com]
→ 56 CommentsFILED UNDER: piss · that's trashy · that's unsanitary
