But…but…it’s cold out and you’re so close to all the really good gifting suites! Perhaps a Swarovski-crystal-encrusted-organic-sea-kelp loofah would change your mind?
(Thanks to Dan M. in Park City, Utah for snapping the photo.)
related: But He took the wheel
FILED UNDER: Park City · parking · Utah
Writes Joe in Denver: “My roommate gets very emotional when someone criticizes him, but will gladly e-mail me or leave notes around the house with dozens of ‘little reminders’” like this one — written after Joe left a broom in the living room overnight.
related: How not to housetrain a roommate
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · a little uptight · Denver · smiley
At the Circuit City in Bradenton, Florida (which I envision something like this) one anonymous employee reports that much of the staff’s downtime is spent obsessively playing Guitar Hero 3 in the store’s breakroom. They even have a 42-inch wall-mounted flatscreen expressly for this purpose. Or at least, they did, until about a month ago.
Our anonymous employee takes umbrage with two issues here. First of all, “there are more than 50 employees who share this room. Does it really look that dirty?” And second, the fact that “instead of reminding us to pick up during any one of our 30 daily meetings, someone actually wasted the time to TAKE PICTURES of the ‘mess’ and hang them in place of the TV. Wouldn’t a simple, ‘hey y’all, clean up your shit?’ have been much, much more efficient?”
What is this “efficiency” of which you speak? It’s certainly not in the retail management handbook!
related: office anthropomorphism
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · now that's management · retail hell · that's disrespectful · visual aids
Rachel in Virginia says her two roommates, “despite seeing and talking to me multiple times a day, decide to air their grievances through notes.” These grievances include being responsible for a $200 water bill “because i wash my face and hands at night and in the morning.” rachel has decided that enough is enough.
To paraphrase the Dude paraphrasing Bush Senior: This passive-aggression will not stand, man.
Meanwhile, Ben in Helena, Montana says he loves passive-aggressive notes.
In fact, he loves them so much that he had these special sticky notes printed up — both as an homage to our humble projet and “to encourage and facilitate the leaving of such notes.”
Adds Ben, “They’ve proved so popular I already need to order some more.” (Unclear whether this is a good thing.)
related: “That shit is disrespectful”
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · heart · meta · Montana · smiley · Virginia
Ruben in Pregon works for an Apple reseller where the managers like to fire up the sales team with little competitions. (iPhones don’t sell themselves, people! For that, you’ll have to hold out for version 2.0.)
When Josh, the store’s very own Dwight Schrute, was pronounced the winner of a recent contest, things unfolded pretty much the way you’d expect.
The only person more universally reviled than the office suckup? the new guy, of course.
Says Ruben: “Most of us are real sticklers for keeping track of new product, but recently we brought on this new guy, Victor, and he hasn’t been doing too well.” Ruben came into work one day to find this MacBook battery on one of the tech benches, along with these notes that explain the entire story in just nine words. (And three question marks.)
Ruben says this pwnage became less hilarious when Victor actually did end up getting fired. “Awwkard!”
related: Your last day of work was yesterday
FILED UNDER: confusion??? · fired · group bitchfest · office · Oregon · retail hell · whiteboard
Our anonymous submitter received this note after playing host to his friend’s band. In his defense, he says, “the house was not messy.” and, besides, “I never leave him notes when I do normal household chores like emptying the dishwasher and taking the trash out.”
Adds our submitter: “Oh, and he can’t count — it was seven guys.” (Quite a Michelle-esque touch, no?)
related: Martyr complex much?
FILED UNDER: band · bathroom · paper product fairy · roommates · that's disgusting · toilet paper
It was a “killer busy” week at the office, so Gord in Ontario admits that he and his ad-business coworkers left the place in a certain state of disarray. (Such is the wont of “creative professionals.”) Unfortunately, the boss chose that weekend to pop in to give some people an impromptu tour. On Monday, these adorable little thought balloons were posted all around the office.
The boss never mentioned the incident again. But rationalizing, it seems, that a sleeping dog is just a dog waiting to be kicked, Gord and his coworkers turned the notes into a T-shirt.
related: Is this what a post-post-feminist looks like?
FILED UNDER: Canada · CAPS LOCK · casual sexism · cleaning · office · Ontario · that's disgusting · that's unprofessional
Amanda spotted this on the door of the post office in Milford, Pennsylvania. (Confidential to the fecal matter general: Dude, I know recycling can be a hassle sometimes, but this seems like a little much.)
Perhaps the Brooklynites who issued this poetical preemptive warning knew what they were doing all along…
related: this is why your server is cranky
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · garbage · going postal · more like crazy · Pennsylvania · shit
After noticing a tell-tale crisping sleeve in the garbage, Charlie in New York spotted this helpful directive on the office fridge.
(Though if you ask Jim Gaffigan, the thief was really doing the guy a favor.)
related: I swear this isn’t some kind of viral marketing campaign
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · New York · office fridge · stealing · visual aids
Mishee was about to go ahead and just pay for that Snapple…until she saw this colorful little note at a drugstore in Sunnyvale, California. Phew!
UPDATE: Mishee (ever the overachiever) has returned to the scene to satisfy your curiosity about the signs behind the signs…and finds her Snapple-drinking plans foiled in the process!
related: If it weren’t for the toilet, there would be no books
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bathroom · California · sad face · Silicon Valley · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"