The Jake Issues

November 5th, 2007 · 186 comments

Says our anonymous contributor from Los Angeles: “This is page three (!) of a three-page letter of complaints from my wife’s (ex) office manager to the heads of the company.” Apparently one of her co-workers, Jake, merited his own page. (No word on how this went over with the bosses.)

1. Jake needs to do something about his flatulence problem - this is a constant issue, which he thinks is funny - and burning matches does not solve the problem. A slip once in a while is forgivable, but this is just rude and disgusting. 2. Jake need stop using the speakerphone when I'm at my desk - dialing a number is one thing, entire conversation is another. 3. Jake should also be mindful of his speaking volume while he's on the phone. While on his phone, he can be heard at [redacted's] desk as if he's standing right next to you - that is too loud. Plus often he is standing over pacing at his desk while on the phone (or besides our desks when on his cell phone.) If he's sitting, the half wall at least helps to minimize a bit, but lowering his town on the whole would be best. desks when on his cell phone.) If he's sitting, the half wall at least helps to minimize a bit, but lowering his town on the whole would be best. Jake should be mindful that others partake of things in the office as well as him. One tea bag (or package of oatmeal) per cup not 2 or 3. If we have snacks, he should not eat everything until it is gone rather than allow things to remain available over the course of the day. Others may want to have the snack later, but usually if they wait, it won't be there because Jake's already eaten it. He should be embarrassed that he is known as the scavenger of the office.

→ 186 CommentsFILED UNDER: bullet points · cell phone · flatulence · food · Los Angeles · loud talker · noise · oatmeal · office · tea · that's disgusting


Passive-allergic

November 4th, 2007 · 341 comments

“Okay, so I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong on this one,” says Melanie from Sydney. “I have a long-haired cat who sheds a lot, so I just used to pick up the bits of fur and throw them out the window.” (Um, right, of course.) Melanie continues: “I’m on the third floor and look out over the street, so I didn’t think it would upset anyone. but then I found this clump of cat hair in my mailbox.”

the cat hair in question

Melanie adds: “I live in a block of 40+ units and my cat is an indoor cat, so a) no one really knows I have him, and b) it must have pretty hard to track done the owner of the multi-shedding, window-fur-tossing cat. That one clump of fur — which they would have had to have collected over a period of at least two weeks — says more than words ever could.”

related: The cats must go!

→ 341 CommentsFILED UNDER: actions speak louder · Australia · cats · neighbors · questionable logic · Sydney


Now finish up them taters, I’m gonna go fondle my sweaters

November 2nd, 2007 · 488 comments

Writes Tessa, who works at a restaurant in Albuquerque: “The day manager left this note for the night cook, who does spend all night smoking, watching TV and calling his girlfriend on the business phone.” (I’m sure this note will absoutley set him straight.)

now finish up them taters, i'm gonna go fondle my sweaters

→ 488 CommentsFILED UNDER: Albuquerque · now that's management · restaurant · smoking · spelling and grammar police


Volenti non fit injuria

November 1st, 2007 · 89 comments

Garvey is a 3L at a “relatively cheap” state law school in New York City, where he says “there’s a perpetual joke that it’s still a bargain, even with all its many, many problems.” Garvey found this note attached to one of the ancient computers in the school’s less than state-of-the-art law library. (I mean really, Internet Explorer? puhleez.)

volenti non fit injuria

→ 89 CommentsFILED UNDER: i.e. or e.g. it's all greek -- or is it latin? -- to me · lawyers & law students · library · raging against the machine


Pumpkin with a death wish

October 31st, 2007 · 82 comments

Sarah in Richmond says this jack-o-lantern appeared just minutes ago near the stairs to her apartment. We’ll call this the “before” shot…

QUIT STOMPING

Stay tuned for the “after” photo: punkin stomped to bits by contrarian trick-or-treaters.

Happy Halloween, kids!

→ 82 CommentsFILED UNDER: Halloween · neighbors · noise · Richmond


The “your mother doesn’t work here” of the hospitality industry

October 31st, 2007 · 215 comments

My former roommate Eric inspired this roundup (and an overly dramatic round of gagging/hair-pulling/eye-gouging on my part) by passing along a photo of this sign spotted on Marco Island, Florida — though it could have been anywhere on Main Street, USA. (Note the small print at top, which reads: “Signs sold in our gift shop.”)

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy

I think the only thing that could make this sign more irritating would be if it said — shudder — “expresso.” This sign must be stopped!

Unattended children will be given a cup of espresso and a free puppy

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a puppy

We love kids, but please keep yours at your table! Unattended children will be given a shot of espresso and a free puppy. Thanks

Wandering children will be given a double espresso and a free puppy to take home! Thank you!

Children Left Unattended Will Be Given An Espresso And A Puppy

Unattended Children Will Be Given An Espresso And A Free Puppy

Children left unattended will be given an espresso and a Free Puppy

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy

related: Unattended children will be shot

→ 215 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · Florida · kids


Be more of a people’s person, ok?

October 30th, 2007 · 94 comments

Perhaps Scott should give Anytime Stan a call?

(from beyond robson, via miss604)

→ 94 CommentsFILED UNDER: Canada · cranky barista · farewell letter · now that's management · Vancouver


Wake me up? Wham!

October 30th, 2007 · 248 comments

Bradley in New York woke up yesterday to find this little love note from his girlfriend. (His explanation? “She’s a light sleeper.”) I feel her pain. If there’s a sound more irritating than a Nokia ring tone, the pathetic “I’m dying” whine of an out-of-juice cell phone just might be it.

no excuse

Meanwhile, Chris’s friend Michelle doesn’t appreciate having her beauty rest disturbed, either…

no joke

→ 248 CommentsFILED UNDER: cell phone · more aggressive than passive · New York · noise · not-so-veiled threats · San Jose · sig o · signed with love


Nice try

October 29th, 2007 · 203 comments

Lanqui spotted this note on a moped that was locked to a street sign in Greenwich Village. That bit of orange there? Yup, that would be a ticket.

To parking cop:  This is a moped, not a motorcycle. This engine is smaller than that of a scooter's even (think vespa). Therefore it should be fine to lock up on the sidewalk.

→ 203 CommentsFILED UNDER: excessive underlining · New York · parking · raging against the machine · scooters & mopeds · that's illegal · the po-po · woulda shoulda coulda


Come get some

October 26th, 2007 · 148 comments

Lisa in Berkeley says she was doing laundry in her dorm building when someone pointed out this amazing note to her. “According to that person, who knew the note-poster through a friend, ‘The towels were actually nice. They were from Kohl’s or something.’”

I just want whoever stole my fucking towels last night, btwn the hours of 3 and 8 am, to know that u deserve to die for that shit, its [sic] trifling, and disgusting. I wiped btwn my legs with those towels! U are nasty. Please know that if either I or my roommate notice our towels in your load one day, and [sic] ass kicking will surely follow. 4th floor Slottman residents, come get some.

Lisa says the note has since been taken down. “I guess either an RA got to it, or someone got a beating.”

→ 148 CommentsFILED UNDER: Berkeley · California · college life · Comic Sans Alert · comma diarrhea · die bitch die · laundry · not-so-veiled threats · RA · spelling and grammar police · stealing · that's disgusting · TMI · towels