The “Thanks for forgetting my birthday, asshole” thank-you note: Because the only thing that would have made this e-mail from Rebecca’s (32-year-old) brother any better is a midi file soundtrack and a dancing elephant or two.
Adds Rebecca: “My resulting apology just yielded more hate-filled e-mails from him — nevermind that I was camping and he lives in another country which I can’t call from my cell phone! I should have taken the advice of another contributor to this site who said there is no correct way to respond to a passive-aggressive note.”
related: two birds with one snowman
FILED UNDER: birthday · cry me a freaking river · e-mail · most popular notes of 2008 · Orlando · siblings · thanks (but not really)
Our submitter found this glorious piece of work on the door to the common room at her Oxford University dorm. “The guy who left it was a 6’5 redheaded dude who wore cravats,” she says. “No one was gonna fuck with him.” (I don’t really understand the causality there, but I’m gonna let that one go.)
I will give Dustin this much, though: through the pain, he always tells the truth.
related: come get some
FILED UNDER: college life · just an asshole · most popular notes of 2008 · signed with love · U.K. · warning
Zakir in Montreal came home one night to find his roommate, Tristan ferociously scribbling this note for his other roommate, Vincent. Apparently, Tristan was baking cookies on Saturday night (aww) and when he turned on the stove, the entire apartment filled with smoke from the charred cardboard from Vince’s frozen pizza.
Says Zakir: “Vincent’s reply to the note was gold. He yelled: ‘Well, maybe next time you should CHECK the oven before you turn it on….WHAT IF THERE WAS A BABY IN THERE?!’ and then slammed his door behind him.”
Adds Zakir: “I’m not sure if those are hearts or flames all over the note, but I do know Tristan‘s face was scrunched with anger as he wrote it.”
Meanwhile, in Clemson, S.C…there is a baby in that oven.
related: must have been a pretty big bite
FILED UNDER: double-entendre alert · heart · Montreal · oven · pizza · preggers · smiley · South Carolina · spelling and grammar police
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · food · FYI · Minneapolis/St. Paul · office fridge
So, after seeing this note from Daily Piglet in Columbia, South Carolina:
And this one, from Anna in Providence, Rhode Island:
And this doozy from an anonymous San Francisco office worker…
Is it any wonder that this photo from afroswede‘s flickrstream (and others) came to mind?
(Meanwhile, over at bethany’s “blog”…u can touch this.)
related: Can I lick it?
FILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Providence · San Francisco · South Carolina · temperature · touching
Julie spotted this amazing note on New York’s Lower East Side…
(Dude, how ominous are those ellipses?)
related: Movin’ out (Anthony’s song)
FILED UNDER: crazypants · money · not-so-veiled threats · Say wha?
Charlie in Hopkinton, Massachusetts (age 17) and his little brother (age 15) spent a good deal of time scheming about how to respond to their mother’s notes around the bathroom before deciding upon shaving cream as their weapon of choice.
p.s. Matilda: the most passive-aggressive child in fiction? (Also, Muggle-wump: the most passive-aggressive monkey?) discuss!
related: Living with an adolescent (abridged)
FILED UNDER: bathroom · Massachusetts · Moms & Dads
Laid back? I’ll give you laid back. In fact, I’ll spell it out for you: Janice will break your legs.
(Thanks to Peter in Milwaukee for documenting — you’re my number one guy!)
related: Be informed, Homeland Security will be
FILED UNDER: crazypants · Milwaukee · pure poetry · Say wha? · smoking · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation?
While other passive-aggressives plow through post-its with wild abandon, the caretaker of Kale‘s building in Winnipeg has a more economical style.
P.S. Vetta, I think the only thing that would make me love this note more is if your postscript began with “I wish…”
related: And what’s your Christmas wish?
FILED UNDER: Christmas · garbage · holiday spirit · landlords and property managers · most popular notes of 2008 · p.s. · Winnipeg
In the office kitchen, expecting your coworkers to wipe up the spatters from their exploded Hot Pockets seems like standard enough microwave etiquette. And a ban on charred popcorn and leftover tuna casserole? Eh, fair enough. But this note — from an anonymous office worker in Baltimore — is the kind of thing that leads to out-and-out mutiny.
UPDATE: There’s a copycat on the loose!
UPDATE 2: They’re multiplying!
UPDATE 3: The meta-madness continues!
UPDATE 4: It continues!
related: Who are you calling OCD?
FILED UNDER: a little uptight · Baltimore · microwave · most popular notes of 2008 · office