Ruben in Pregon works for an Apple reseller where the managers like to fire up the sales team with little competitions. (iPhones don’t sell themselves, people! For that, you’ll have to hold out for version 2.0.)
When Josh, the store’s very own Dwight Schrute, was pronounced the winner of a recent contest, things unfolded pretty much the way you’d expect.
The only person more universally reviled than the office suckup? the new guy, of course.
Says Ruben: “Most of us are real sticklers for keeping track of new product, but recently we brought on this new guy, Victor, and he hasn’t been doing too well.” Ruben came into work one day to find this MacBook battery on one of the tech benches, along with these notes that explain the entire story in just nine words. (And three question marks.)
Ruben says this pwnage became less hilarious when Victor actually did end up getting fired. “Awwkard!”
related: Your last day of work was yesterday
FILED UNDER: confusion??? · fired · group bitchfest · office · Oregon · retail hell · whiteboard
Our anonymous submitter received this note after playing host to his friend’s band. In his defense, he says, “the house was not messy.” and, besides, “I never leave him notes when I do normal household chores like emptying the dishwasher and taking the trash out.”
Adds our submitter: “Oh, and he can’t count — it was seven guys.” (Quite a Michelle-esque touch, no?)
related: Martyr complex much?
FILED UNDER: band · bathroom · paper product fairy · roommates · that's disgusting · toilet paper
It was a “killer busy” week at the office, so Gord in Ontario admits that he and his ad-business coworkers left the place in a certain state of disarray. (Such is the wont of “creative professionals.”) Unfortunately, the boss chose that weekend to pop in to give some people an impromptu tour. On Monday, these adorable little thought balloons were posted all around the office.
The boss never mentioned the incident again. But rationalizing, it seems, that a sleeping dog is just a dog waiting to be kicked, Gord and his coworkers turned the notes into a T-shirt.
related: Is this what a post-post-feminist looks like?
FILED UNDER: Canada · CAPS LOCK · casual sexism · cleaning · office · Ontario · that's disgusting · that's unprofessional
Amanda spotted this on the door of the post office in Milford, Pennsylvania. (Confidential to the fecal matter general: Dude, I know recycling can be a hassle sometimes, but this seems like a little much.)
Perhaps the Brooklynites who issued this poetical preemptive warning knew what they were doing all along…
related: this is why your server is cranky
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · garbage · going postal · more like crazy · Pennsylvania · shit
After noticing a tell-tale crisping sleeve in the garbage, Charlie in New York spotted this helpful directive on the office fridge.
(Though if you ask Jim Gaffigan, the thief was really doing the guy a favor.)
related: I swear this isn’t some kind of viral marketing campaign
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · New York · office fridge · stealing · visual aids
Mishee was about to go ahead and just pay for that Snapple…until she saw this colorful little note at a drugstore in Sunnyvale, California. Phew!
UPDATE: Mishee (ever the overachiever) has returned to the scene to satisfy your curiosity about the signs behind the signs…and finds her Snapple-drinking plans foiled in the process!
related: If it weren’t for the toilet, there would be no books
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bathroom · California · sad face · Silicon Valley · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"
When Julie in Elkhart, Indiana saw this note from her roommate, Molly…
…she decided it was time to go on the offensive.
Then came the counter attack…
…and then Julie photographed the exchange and sent it to us.
Game, set, match.
related: I know where she lives
FILED UNDER: awk abbrev · Indiana · most popular notes of 2008 · note wars · oh snap · roommates · smiley · spelling and grammar police
Mara in Minneapolis ( average temperature in January: 12° F/-11° C) says the worst job she’s ever had was at a local thrift store — and not because of the crazy customers and their indiscreet use of the fitting rooms. No, like many workers, the crazy person driving Mara crazy was her boss — the author of the masterpiece below.
Mara says she lasted three weeks before her boss made her so angry that she walked out and never looked back. (No, not even to leave a little surprise behind in the bath—er, fitting room. That’s management-level thinking, folks.)
related: When nature calls
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · crazy boss · Minneapolis/St. Paul · now that's management · retail hell · runaway run-on sentences · temperature
Chonny lives in Manhattan apartment with three spirited roommates, and they enjoy, on occasion, knocking back a few glasses of wine for an impromptu roomie-bonding sing-a-long.
“One night around 10, after a particularly taxing day, we decided to bring the vibe down with a little Peter Gabriel,” Chonny says. “As we all belted out ‘In Your Eyes’ — with a couple of tears in ours — we heard a voice shout across the alley, “YOUR MUSIC SUCKS!” The next day, one of our uptown girls found this note pasted to the callbox downstairs.
Adds Chonny: “What really upsets me is that the writer doesn’t know the difference between Peter and Billy. Shall we move onto Bon Jovi?”
related: it was an ironic dance party, okay?; movin’ out (anthony’s song)
FILED UNDER: a matter of taste · music · neighbors · New York
Octavio in Munich says that his landlord (who shares the same apartment) is a regular high priest of paternalistic little — the entire flat is covered with them. On the bathroom wall, for example, this glorious collage is what stares back at those seated on the throne. (Altogether now: “holy shiße!”)
must turn the light OFFFF!!!
use the toilet brush!!!
FILED UNDER: bathroom · Deutsche · landlords and property managers · lighting · Munich · toilet · turning on/off