Upon further reflection, screw you

September 1st, 2007 · 53 comments

While Jessica was a college student in Boston, she lived in a five-person apartment with one friend and three strangers. Jess says apartment issues were rarely (if ever talked about directly (there was but one “meeting), but were instead handled through a series of “love notes” from Anne, like this one.

passiveaggressivenotes.com: memorandum to roommates

Most of the points in this letter, Jessica adds, were directed at one person in particular — her friend, with whom Anne shared a room. And when Anne was told to “remind people to clean” at the meeting, Jess says she and her roommates were simply referring to when and if it began to bother her. Oh, and the building’s rodent problem was a pre-existing condition.

→ 53 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boston · cleaning · dishes · garbage · guests · not-so-veiled threats · vermin · water · Your mother doesn't...


Um, Rene Hall?

August 30th, 2007 · 98 comments

Meric spotted this sign in melbourne while going to the launderette a few doors down. The bizarre thing, says Meric, is that it’s in a shop window. “I have no idea what kind of dastardly person would steal poor Dave’s bananas, but every time I walked past it I laughed so much a little bit of wet came out.”

WHO THE FUCK DRANK ALL MY COKE? AND DAVE'S BANANAS?

Meric adds, “I left Australia in August, so I’m not sure if it’s still there. But these pictures were taken in June on Nicholson Street, Carlton North, Melbourne if anyone from around there would like to check up and see.” P-A detective squad, Melbourne bureau: consider yourselves on the case.

Meanwhile, Sarah in Alexandria says she faced a similar disappearing Coke problem at her office. “At first I tried keeping them all in the box with a large note on the outside opening with my name on it. Apparently that wasn’t enough because cans were still ending up missing, so I added to the note ‘please do not drink’ because maybe someone thought I was leaving my name there so that they would know who to thank (or not to thank, rather) for the free Cokes. Cans were still being taken though, so I decided to resort to the only tactic I have ever known to work on assholes who have no regard whatsoever for others: I threatened their own well-being.”

I licked the top of every can and I'm sick...Try Me

Adds Sarah, “I actually did lick the cans too, and I was genuinely sick. After that note, I was able to enjoy my Cokes without having to worry. The only person who this tactic has yet to work on is my dad.”

→ 98 CommentsFILED UNDER: Australia · bananas · beverages · Coke · food · Melbourne · not-so-veiled threats · revenge · stealing · Virginia


if you can afford $10 worth of flair…

August 28th, 2007 · 197 comments

Says “anony-scrooge”:

My office is ridiculous about cards and donations. The smallest of occasions warrants cards, money, balloons, flowers, a singing telegram, etc. Last Christmas was no exception. By mid-December, we had been asked for no less than $150 each in contributions for this and that.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was the sudden appearance of a Christmas ‘adopt a family’ program, and the family selected was one of our employees who had very recently fell asleep at the wheel and crashed his car. It was all very tragic (sarcasm), but many people drew the line at putting more money in the hat to replace his giant mystery machine van. So almost nobody gave. Well, somebody was pissed…

if you can afford $10 worth of flair...

→ 197 CommentsFILED UNDER: e-mail · money · office · party planning committee


The farewell email to end all farewell emails

August 27th, 2007 · 163 comments

All I can say is…wow.

the farewell email to end all farewell emails

(click to enlarge!)

→ 163 CommentsFILED UNDER: art · most popular notes of 2007 · New York · office · oh snap · raging against the machine · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)


U will be sorry

August 26th, 2007 · 66 comments

One of our regular trouble makers, Boggywoggy (a.k.a. Val in Oregon) took some time off from the comments section this weekend to go fishing, and decided to grab a quick bite at Waldport, Oregon’s, er, finest: The Flounder Inn. Val spotted this note on one of the restroom stalls.

Mention Carrie Lee on thise [sic] wall 1 more time...

Adds Val, “I thought about putting my own message about Carrie Lee on the door, just for kicks, but then realized that person probably really meant business!”

→ 66 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · graffiti · im-speak · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · Oregon · spelling and grammar police


We don’t want your ugly placemats

August 24th, 2007 · 98 comments

Damien in Seattle saw this at the local Salvation Army thrift store.

Says Damien, “The kicker on this one isn’t as much what’s said as what ISN’T said. This note clearly had a lot more to it that was — probably by a clearer head — snipped off.”

"Please don't leave donations when we ask you not to"

→ 98 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · Seattle · thanks but no thanks


P.S. Text me at work if you want to talk!!

August 23rd, 2007 · 242 comments

Annie writes, “This a note my roommate left me expressing her discontent with me because I would, while straightening up, put her placemats back in the drawer. I was putting away her placemats to clean up…but also because they are the most hideous things I have ever seen [see exhibit b]. She also got mad at me for putting out my old bathmat while I was washing hers. I especially like that she assumes I will ‘trash it’ when I am ready.”

p.s. text me at work if you want to talk

EXHIBIT B, the placemats:

i know you don't like them but i do


→ 242 CommentsFILED UNDER: a matter of taste · bathmat · p.s. · roommates · signed with love


Post-punctuationism

August 21st, 2007 · 81 comments

Explains Sarah in New York City: “One lab in the building where I work has covered the walls outside their lab with candid photos of the lab members. Over time, some of these photos got some ‘modifications’ from passers-by, such as a mustache or horns here or there.  (Mature, I know.) Today, I noticed the photos were gone.” In their place…

To the budding Van Gogh of the floor. If I catch you doodling on OUR pictures it will NOT be your ear, I will cut. Come and see me! Love Jessie x7663

UPDATE: Sarah provides a look at the note in context. (Unfortunately, without the original “artwork.”)

To the budding Van Gogh of the floor. If I catch you doodling on OUR pictures it will NOT be your ear, I will cut. Come and see me! Love Jessie x7663

→ 81 CommentsFILED UNDER: excessive underlining · graffiti · more aggressive than passive · New York · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · office · signed with love · You call that punctuation?


Perhaps a committee to assess the health of the committee?

August 20th, 2007 · 100 comments

“The Healthy Companies Committee,” explains Katherine in D.C., is the name of the office pep squad led by the sender of the e-mail. (“Ironically,” she adds, “he does not seem to be able to deal with his frustration in a ‘healthy’ way.”)

The hilarity of this note is more subtle than say, a “Thank you Terry,” but don’t be fooled: it’s not your garden-variety “do your dishes” note, either. (Pay particular attention to paragraphs one and four.) It’s like something straight out of a script from The Office.

what will it take?? (probably not an office-wide e-mail)

Don’t you wish you could read the earlier drafts?

→ 100 CommentsFILED UNDER: comma diarrhea · confusion??? · D.C. · dishes · dishwasher · e-mail · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · office · questionable logic · royal we · spelling and grammar police


I think it’s going to be a long long time

August 20th, 2007 · 194 comments

Today’s tasteless gross-out is brought to us by Christina in Irvine, California. (My apologies in advance.)

Here's my new decree: Everyone with rocket pubes has to put a fucking hairnet over their balls before entering the showers/bathrooms in the dorms. I was in the shower today, lathering, rinsing, a little repeating — and I look over at the plastic shower curtain. To my fucking amazement there is a pube at about shoulder level.

→ 194 CommentsFILED UNDER: all clogged up · bathroom · California · college life · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · group bitchfest · hair · Irvine · most popular notes of 2007 · shower · that's disgusting