Amber received this amazing note in an envelope on her doorstep in Sacramento. “I have no idea which neighbor sent this to me, but I can only assume it was the paranoid-looking woman who lives above me,” she says. “But I don’t do drugs. I don’t even smoke cigarettes!”
related: Don’t hate the playa
FILED UNDER: a little uptight · drugs · holiday spirit · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · odor · passive voice · Sacramento
Which clip art extravaganza is the most gratuitous? You be the judge!
Is it this sign, from the Virginia office of — of course — a major mobile carrier?
Is it this little tea party of a sign from Cambridge, Mass.?
Or is it this one, from, yes, a church restroom?
related: Cubicle etiquette
FILED UNDER: all clogged up · bathroom · Boston · cell phone · clip art catastrophe · Jesus · Massachusetts · office · tea · Virginia · you be the judge · you're like so going to hell
“We really don’t hate the holidays,” says our anonymous foreign-policy elf in Washington, D.C., “just passive-aggressive coworkers.”
related: Perhaps a committee to assess the health of the committee?
FILED UNDER: D.C. · e-mail · holiday spirit · money · office · party planning committee · spelling and grammar police
Thanks to Sarah for capturing this delicious little slice of life from her Christian college in Illinois. (Delicious like a quart of Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge, not one measly little low-fat Frappucino bar.)
related: but He took the wheel
FILED UNDER: apostrophe abuse · college life · excessive underlining · heart · ice cream · Illinois · irregular capitalization · not-so-veiled threats · spelling and grammar police · touching · You call that punctuation? · you're like so going to hell
Our anonymous submitter saw this note posted on the door to the walk-in cooler at a convenience store in Boerne, Texas. “The clerk told me that the Red Bull delivery guy had been drinking Red Bull and leaving the empty cans on the floor of the walk-in,” our submitter says. “In her words, ‘he was knockin’ himself off!’”
(the full scene)
related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books.”
FILED UNDER: beverages · CAPS LOCK · message to all intended for one · spelling and grammar police · stealing
The inimitable Jeff Rubin passes along this note from the foyer of his Park Slope apartment building. Yup, that’s what you think it is there on the floor. (Perhaps a hapless victim of the bag-tampering deliquent?)
(Jeff says the mess was cleaned up when he checked a few hours later.)
Meanwhile, elsewhere in Brooklyn, confusion still reigns.
related: Oh, shit!
FILED UNDER: Brooklyn · confusion??? · dogs · Park Slope · shit
Our anonymous submitter from Dallas works in the creative department of a large corporation that’s recently cut back on extras like holiday parties and cake and fruit. This Scrooge-like misanthropy seems to have taken a toll on staff morale — even among the determined breed of office “fun fund” leaders.
(Click to enlarge; transcription below!
subject: Secret Santa
Since we have no more motherly types left (Denise, Andrea, etc.), I have been elected to be the cruise director this year.
We’re doing it from next Monday (the 10th) to next Friday (the 14th), since people will start going out of town the week after that.
We have a $20 max. You can spend it however you like. You can get your person a $4 gift every day, a big $20 gift on the last day, or however you want to break it up.
If you’ like to participate, please come sign up at my desk by tomorrow by noon. I will be drawing the names at lunch time. It’s not mandatory for everyone to play, but just do it. Don’t be a grinch!
If you don’t care what your Santa gets you that is fine, but if you do, please post a “Secret Santa Wish List” on your cube, so that they will have an idea what you like, and can go shopping this weekend.
Also, don’t give people used stuff (the person who gave me the half burned candle two years ago knows who they are!).
related: If you can afford $10 worth of flair…
FILED UNDER: actions speak louder · Dallas/Fort Worth · holiday spirit · office · party planning committee
Individual cheese pizza with chicken, bacon, sun-dried tomato and feta cheese plus a side salad: $6.31. Addressing your note “to whom it may concern” when you only have one roommate? (You know the rest.)
(Thanks to Todd in Stillwater, Oklahoma for snapping the photo.)
related: you left evidence
FILED UNDER: college life · excessive underlining · Oklahoma · pizza · pleasantries as afterthought · roommates · smiley
Casey from Shreveport, Louisiana spotted this on the Coke machine in the office break room. she clarifies: “Henry G.’s comment is in reference to the increase in price, not Katie’s wanting more Coke Zero.”
Meanwhile, Breanna in L.A. saw this somewhat amusing notice in a liquor store on the corner of Hollywood and Wine. (“Did someone pee on it?” she wonders.)
related: I’d like to buy the world a…Gatorade?
FILED UNDER: Coke · group bitchfest · Los Angeles · not my fault · office · raging against the machine · Say wha? · Shreveport · spelling and grammar police · vending machine drama
Joe in Northern Virginia has amassed a pretty divine collection of office fridge notes over the years, the best of which portend various forms of karmic/economic/physical retribution.
related: It must have been a pretty big bite
FILED UNDER: "accidental" "borrowing" · ellipses-crazed · food · karma's a bitch · licking · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · Reston · stealing · Virginia