This aggression will not stand, man

September 22nd, 2007 · 163 comments

As a little weekend bonus, I bring you this screed from the Smith Daily Jolt’s alumnae forum. Yes, it’s long.

dailyjolt1.jpg [Read more →]

→ 163 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · college life · e-mail · garbage · just an asshole · martyr complex · money · not wrong · posted online · rebuttals · roommates · sig o · smoking · that's a fire hazard · TL;DR


Are you there, Margaret? God, could you be any more disgusting?

September 20th, 2007 · 335 comments

Mona in Los Angeles brings us this pair of notes from her high-rise Century City office building.  Says Mona, “Apparently my co-worker saw the panties at issue. My question is…who leaves their panties in the bathroom at work?  Who does that?”

My question: Why are we letting Paris and Britney off the hook? If they actually remember to wear them, shouldn’t we encourage keeping them on?

some sound advice

And then there’s this one, which brings up the old mad bomber-era debate about which gender leaves the bathrooms in worse shape.

are you there, margaret? god, clean up after yourself already!


→ 335 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · attire · bathroom · bodily fluids · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · danger · excessive underlining · group bitchfest · hygiene · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2007 · office · that's disgusting


Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler

September 19th, 2007 · 265 comments

Attention: corporate emergency in the Chicagoland area!

but then they switched from the swingline to the boston stapler

Meanwhile, in Seattle…

thank you so much for your collaborations

Adds our anonymous submitter, “All the glassware for all departments is washed by the poor lab slaves at least twice a day, and then promptly returned to the shelves. How much glassware are they using that they notice if a beaker or two went missing?”

→ 265 CommentsFILED UNDER: a little uptight · and that's an order · Chicago · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · office · office supplies · Seattle · spelling and grammar police


Sophisticated dryers use silverware when they eat your socks

September 19th, 2007 · 151 comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted this note on a resident’s door in an apartment complex in Portland, oregon. Oddly, she says, this resident lives alone.
Now I realize that you may have temporarily lost your conscious sense of things, however, please return my socks and my large spoon with the silver end. Thank you

Meanwhile, James’s roommate found in the laundry room of his Sacramento apartment complex.

Thank you got taking (stealing) my towel and dryer sheets! Because of YOU I will never feel comfortable doing my laundry - I don't know if you are going to steal my clothes. YOU SUCK.

→ 151 CommentsFILED UNDER: excessive underlining · laundry · neighbors · Portland · Sacramento · spoons · stealing · thanks (but not really)


The bark heard ‘cross the country

September 17th, 2007 · 214 comments

So, our anonymous submitter had lived at her house in Austin, Texas for about two months when she went out of town for the weekend. For the two days while she was gone, she left her dog outside in the yard. Three weeks later, her landlord — who lives at a completely different address — received this note via U.S. mail…postmarked Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

Your tenant at 490 Caswell has her dog outside all day and night. It barks at everything. Tell her to shut that dog up.

a little creepy, right?

→ 214 CommentsFILED UNDER: Austin · dogs · neighbors · noise


At least it wasn’t “Grand Valse”

September 16th, 2007 · 191 comments

According to a 2006 Harris poll, office-workers say annoying ringtones are one of their biggest pet peeves — second only to office loud talkers. So I’m actually surprised we haven’t seen more notes like this one, which Flickr’s Heather Champ found taped to her (chirping) cell phone once upon a time.

ringtone.jpg

What’s your pick for the most obnoxious ringtone award?

→ 191 CommentsFILED UNDER: cell phone · Mobile · more aggressive than passive · office · San Francisco · Yahoo


She slipped the registrar 30 pieces of silver

September 14th, 2007 · 180 comments

This note, from the science library of Washington & Lee University in Lexington, Virginia, has a bit of a backstory.

Explains our anonymous submitter: “Here, you can reserve a carrel for the entire school year, with two students to a carrel. Our honor system is such that people leave their books and belongings at their carrel basically all the time.” Our submitter caught sight of this little exchange and sneakily made a photocopy to share with us. (Oh, and FYI: “A&P,” our submitter says, refers to Anatomy and Physiology — a popular course that generally only seniors get into.)

To the Judas who is sharing my carrol [sic],  As if it were not enough that you betrayed me & took the A&P class that I could not get in; You have also decided to flaunt the forementioned [sic] book on my carrol [sic]. You may be heartless. Heart, Your carrol (sp?) mate!

→ 180 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · library · martyr complex · rebuttals · sharing is caring · signed with love · spelling and grammar police · Virginia


Dear Vandal

September 13th, 2007 · 169 comments

“Random people seem to have a lot of fun vandalizing Portland’s many bus stops,” says Kathryn. “Several of the stops I use frequently have had their schedules removed, which is oh-so-helpful. The other day when I went to the stop in front of my office to go home, I noticed this little note. They even took the time to laminate it!”

Dear Vandal, It's not my fault that Mommy didn't love you, and I never touched your pee-pee as a child. Why take your anger out on my bus schedule? Kill yourself. It's cooler.

→ 169 CommentsFILED UNDER: die bitch die · Portland · rhetorical question · vandalism


Two points for chutzpah, but zero for originality

September 11th, 2007 · 100 comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in Corte Madera, California: “We have a lot of passive-aggressive notes up around the office, and most of them are addressed to the entire office staff in common areas. You can imagine my surprise when after eating lunch and going out for a smoke break with some coworkers today, we came back to find a bit of passive-aggressiveness on our lunch table — not 15 minutes after we had left it. Grrrrr.”

Clean up after your eat. (Wipe the food off the table and put the chairs back where they belong.) Just like the kitchen, Your mother doesn't work here either.

More choice guilt-trips from this office — including yet another “your mother doesn’t work here” note, follow.

This is a trashcan. It is not a recycling bin. If you turn around, you will find the recycling bin sandwiched between the fridge and the coffee pot. There is really no excuse not to recycle with it's so accessible. You're keeping waste out of landfills and taking a small step to help save the environment.

Note to self: If it's too hard for you to close these doors, maybe you shouldn't be opening them. (Ooo, sassy!)

Wash your dishes & silverware please, your mom doesn't work here

related: Your mother doesn’t work here (or here, or here, or here)

→ 100 CommentsFILED UNDER: California · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · dishes · garbage · guilt trip · kitchen · Moms & Dads · office · oh snap · opening/closing · recycling · spelling and grammar police · The Earth · visual aids · Your mother doesn't...


Now that’s effective management

September 10th, 2007 · 113 comments

Craig from Nottingham, England snapped these at the pub where his cousin works. (Apologies for the blurriness — just pretend you’ve already knocked back a few pints.)

TO ALL STAFF  The habit of simply writing in the duties diary or ringing up to say "Can't work" will cease forthwith. With my approval, attempts to swap shifts with another member of staff of a similar experience will be made first if that is not possible then approach to me to ask for time off. Although for some of you your work is part-time it is not temporary and I expect people when they say they want to to work at the pub to fufil [sic] their part of the bargain.

Keep this area clean and tidy and all times  do not throw away the gold coffee lids   do not eat the coffee mints

All staff: The standards achieved in this pub are not what I expect. Unless effort and levels of cleanliness improve then you must expect the consequences.

If the tin is down or up and you don't tell me then I MAY take the difference from your wages.

By the way, if you’d like to go meet Stephen and shake his hand, Craig says the name of the pub is The Flowing Spring, in Henley. Stephen seems like a kindred spirit to Desi’s New York dungeon master, no?

related: p-e-t-t-y

→ 113 CommentsFILED UNDER: bar · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · Nottingham · office · U.K.