Demotivationals

July 24th, 2007 · 33 comments

An anonymous submitter in Jersey writes, “these ‘motivational signs’ are posted up in the copy room. I guess we’re supposed to pause and reflect upon whether we’re performing to the best of our abilities while waiting for our packets to cycle through the copier. All that the second one is missing is the ‘…shall we?’”

Some mistakes are hard to fix. Be careful, not sorry. Some jobs are hard to pass along. We miss you when you're away.

Deadlines are important. Let's meet them.

And all the first one needs is a little extra oomph…

MISTAKES

→ 33 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · New Jersey · office


…and pull up your pants!

July 23rd, 2007 · 97 comments

Bill snapped this photo at a liquor store in middle-of-nowhere Tennessee, 40 miles east of Memphis. Like this one and this one, it’s more crazy than passive-aggressive — but too good to pass up.

and pull up your pants

Adds Bill: “From what the friend I was visiting told me, the store aired religious TV every hour it was open.  Except on Sundays, that is… because that’s when they turned on NASCAR. IT also had the widest array of bum wines (MD 20/20, Wild Irish Rose, etc.) that I have ever seen.”

→ 97 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · blitzkrieg approach · crazypants · more aggressive than passive · Tennessee


Paper is cheap

July 22nd, 2007 · 43 comments

This note is from an the Philippines, but don’t try and write this off entirely as a “cultural thing.”

Camille in Manila says she finds “do not step on the toilet bowl” quite baffling, too, adding “stepping on the toilet could also mean probably stepping ‘into’ the toilet bowl itself, which is rather, uh, gross.”

Reminder: The Basics of Toilet Use

→ 43 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bathroom · office · Philippines · toilet


Martyr complex much?

July 19th, 2007 · 79 comments

Sometimes, a little complaining is necessary.

I don't complain

(Submitted by Jeremiah in Little Rock, Arkansas.)

 

→ 79 CommentsFILED UNDER: Arkansas · cleaning · dishes · dogs · martyr complex · money · roommates · shit


To each his own microwave

July 19th, 2007 · 110 comments

Paddy in Belfast sends us this series of shots from his office kitchen, where several of his coworkers have taken their frustrations with microwave cleanliness into their own hands.

It all started when one day, a microwave appeared bearing this note:

This microwave was privately purchased by SDT + is for their use only. Permission has been given by Facilities Services.

…but SDT wasn’t taking any chances.

It has a PADLOCK!

Later, a second microwave appeared, complete with its own note:

This Microwave is the property of General Services/Accounts Receivable. If you would like to contribute to the cost and upkeep please contact General Services before using. Clean after use and ensure all food products are covered before cooking.

…which prompted this note on the wall between them:

I haven't got a microwave as yet but this is where i am going to put it when I eventually get it.

related: No smelly foods

→ 110 CommentsFILED UNDER: Belfast · kitchen · microwave · note wars · office · saga · spelling and grammar police


Refrain/stop/discontinue

July 18th, 2007 · 41 comments

“This note appeared in the office kitchen on the fridge next to our fancy Keurig coffee machines,” says our submitter in New York City. “The coffee pods are set out on the counter in a display, but when people couldn’t find their flavor of choice, they’d go into the cabinets to find it.”

Trying to understand this sign-maker’s design process (“No, still not clear enough. let’s hit return again, center-justify, underline AND change the color?”) makes my head hurt.

ONCE AGAIN PLEASE REFRAIN (STOP) FROM OPENING COFFEE BOXES THAT ARE IN THE CABINET. THIS MAKES IT DIFFICULT WHEN IT COMES TO ORDERING COFFEE. IF THIS CONTINUES THE COFFEE SERVICE IN THIS PANTRY WILL HAVE TO BE DISCONTINUED. THANK YOU

Adds our submitter: “Sure enough, not long after this note went up, coffee service was discontinued.” (It has since resumed.)

→ 41 CommentsFILED UNDER: bizarro spacing · bold-underlined-caps · coffee · fun with synonyms · New York · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · office


Cubicle etiquette

July 17th, 2007 · 103 comments

This series of signs (all made by one person, and pinned up across an entire bulletin board) is among my all-time favorites. The glorious redundancies, the inappropriate quotation marks, the clip art — oh, it’s just too good.

Cubicle Etiquette

PRIVACY

"SMELLS"

"NOISE"

SIGHTS

(Yeah, the last one is blurry. Our anonymous Canadian submitter apologizes.)

related: A clue your coworker isn’t up for cubicle small talk

→ 103 CommentsFILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · Canada · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · etiquette · gloriously redundant · music · noise · odor · office · office cop · privacy · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"


This is all about the childern.

July 15th, 2007 · 223 comments

Explains an anony-dad in St. Louis: “I asked our babysitter to fill out a short form for us on a daily basis, letting us know a summary of what happened with the kids during the day — when they last ate, whether they seemed like they were getting sick, that sort of thing. I guess it offended her.”

all about the childernand there care (2 of 2)

An awfully long note for someone who doesn’t like paperwork, no?

related: Happy to be of service

→ 223 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · Moms & Dads · spelling and grammar police · St. Louis · thanks (but not really)


10 people, one kitchen

July 13th, 2007 · 66 comments

alanna lives in a house in ottawa with nine other girls, where “dishes are always being left in the sink dirty and growing stuff, or clean on the counter taking up space.” a note war has commenced on the window above the fridge.

there are 10 people sharing this kitchen

by popular demand, alanna has helpfully posted another picture showing the underlying notes!

10 people, one kitchen

→ 66 CommentsFILED UNDER: Canada · dishes · excessive underlining · kitchen · note wars · Ottawa · roommates


No money, no trophy

July 12th, 2007 · 69 comments

This exercise in mass shaming is brought to us by Rocky in San Diego, who notes: “These are 5-year-olds playing T-ball.”

The players listed below still owe

related: A new tactic for Pre-K school fundraising…public shaming?

→ 69 CommentsFILED UNDER: bold underlined italics · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · message to all intended for one · Moms & Dads · money · public shaming · San Diego · unnecessary "quotation marks"