Spring is here! (Maine, unfortunately, didn’t get the memo.)

related: Snow shoveling etiquette

Writes Kate in Georgia: “My niece, Emily, has to be the most adorable revolutionary in existence. Last week she self-published her manifesto. There are actually six pages of demands, each printed on butterfly stationery. (We assume the butterfly symbolizes her freedom from authority.)”

related: See you never again in my life!

Writes Matt in West Hollywood: “Apparently a certain ‘Alex’ in our neighborhood has been downing protein smoothies and then discarding the cups on the street.” Not cool, man. Not cool.

related: The City of Brotherly Littering

Apparently the patrons of this restaurant in Durham, NC thought that the ‘Out of Order’ sign on the bathroom stall was just a hilarious ruse.

A close-up of the lower right corner:

related: Is this a toilet?

Jessica in Portland, Oregon was on her way home when she saw this note taped to her neighbors’ door. “I’m best friends with the guys this was addressed to,” she says, “and they actually are very loud when they get down to business. It doesn’t usually bother me because I work night shifts, but obviously it is wearing down the woman downstairs.”

(The “happy ending”: Jessica says her friends sent a note back saying they would try to be more considerate.)

related: WE CAN SEE YOU

Ashley spotted this notice in the community room at her grandma’s senior living community in Minnesota. Says Ashley: “Apparently acting like a grown up is still hard when you’re over 80.”

related: The Rules for Strip Bingo

Our submitter in Washington, D.C. says that a parent recently sent this e-mail to her daughter’s preschool teacher…and cc’d it to the parents of every kid in the class. “Clearly, she thinks her kids are getting screwed out of their God-given right to show-and-tell,” our submitter marvels. “I wouldn’t want to mess with this woman come college application time!”

related: Pre-K parent public shaming

“When my downstairs neighbour first moved in, I thought we would be friends,” says our submitter in Montreal. “We go to the same school, we’re around the same age, and we both love pets. (I have a cat and a dog, she has four cats.)” And yes, she says, “Every day — after 10 a.m., before 8 p.m. — I vacuum my house. She can have fun with all her cat-hair dust bunnies — I’ll stick to my cleaning schedule, thanks!”

Like our submitter in Montreal, I’ll admit that, as the owner of a dog who sheds quite a bit, I also vacuum pretty much every day. So if that makes me a “FILTHY DIRTBAG,” I guess I prefer that to becoming like “Dirty Lady #2.”

related: I’m dirty and I love it

Forget Tupperware parties — who could resist a Nasty Crap Container™?

related: Don’t be such a miserable sod

extra credit: Fred and Friends “Bug Bags” Lunch Bags

Turns out there is something you can catch from a public toilet seat: orange. (As spotted by Sharna in the ladies’ room of a Sydney strip club…)

related: Can you a spare a square?

extra credit: Can you catch germs from a public toilet seat? [everydayhealth.com]