Those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter (a GM at a property management firm in Springfield, Missouri) for today’s masterpiece. “One of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “I got halfway through and realized I had to send it to you.”
Now, for the complaints…
FILED UNDER: cleaning · dogs · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · irregular capitalization · itemized list · landlords and property managers · Missouri · more like crazy · music · noise · not-so-veiled threats · parking · rhetorical question · smoking · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · vandalism · your/you're
When our saga begins, our anonymous submitter’s girlfriend was living in a tiny apartment in Sydney, Australia. Due to space constraints, she was temporarily sleeping on what our submitter admits was “possibly one of the world’s shittiest sofabeds.”
But while the mailbox notes were presumably written first (based on the tone) they weren’t actually discovered until after a third note was slipped under the apartment door…
Mortified, our loving couple did, in fact, move their mattress to the floor. But that didn’t seem to placate their dear nameless neighb, who pinned this note to the the building’s common noticeboard…
“Ironically,” our submitter says, “it was found when we were moving out the horrible couch.”
related: visual aids always help
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · Australia · awk abbrev · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · most popular notes of 2007 · neighbors · noise · saga · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police · Sydney
Our anonymous submitter dutifully passes along this company-wide farewell e-mail, but says: “I have no idea what’s he’s talking about. Holla!”
related: the farewell email to end all farewell emails
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · Dallas/Fort Worth · e-mail · farewell letter · office · spelling and grammar police
Writes an anonymous submitter in New York City: “So, my mom bought me this doormat that says ‘leave.’ You know, haha, funny joke, like the ones that say ‘go away.’ Well, apparently my neighbor didn’t find it too humorous.”
Adds our submitter: “Some back story: the woman has lived in the apartment across the hall for 40 years and collects cats and garbage, according to the super.”
related: Really, enough with the weather
FILED UNDER: a matter of taste · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · etiquette · kids today · more aggressive than passive · neighbors · New York
No, you can’t — at least not near the copy machine at Erin’s office in Indianapolis.
Meanwhile, Alvaro’s office in Madrid is having licking issues of its own near the office coffee machine. (Translation: “Please do not lick this teaspoon/ it’s for collective use.”)
And the licking doesn’t stop there…
P.S. Before you leave, please wipe your feet really good on the rhythm rug.
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · Espanol · Indianapolis · licking · Madrid · office · Spain
Long-simmering roommate issues comes to a head in Toronto…
(Green ink is being kicked out by black ink.)
related: I can’t stand this shit anymore.
FILED UNDER: drugs · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · roommates · smiley · spelling and grammar police · Toronto · touching
Gina from Santa Cruz lives in a dorm where ten girls share one bathroom. Says gina, “I love saga notes, and feel we need some more of them, so I figured this collection would certainly do the trick.” Indeed, Gina, indeed! The progression here from pleasantries and smileys to — well, you’ll see — is classic. And a webmd.com citation? Major bonus points.
Gina also sent in a (small-ish) photo of the whole scene.
UPDATE: Gina responds to team fake!
related: I think it’s going to be a long long time
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · all clogged up · bathroom · college life · die bitch die · eww · excessive underlining · internet citation · It's science! · mean girls · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2007 · not-so-veiled threats · note wars · rebuttals · saga · Santa Cruz · shower · smiley · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary
Anna brings us this charitable little note from the her apartment building in London, Ontario.
“Anytime Stan” — proof that Canadians really are the nicest people on earth?
Meanwhile, in Milwaukee…
And lastly, a vaguely dadaist interpretation, in what very well may be another one of L.A.’s elevator-cum-film sets.
related: cross-country elevator action
FILED UNDER: Canada · CAPS LOCK · elevator · ellipses-crazed · Los Angeles · Milwaukee · neighbors · Ontario · p.s. · vomit
Thanks to Gina in Flemington, New Jersey for forwarding along these e-mails between a coworker and her former roommate regarding a $22 gas bill. Click to enlarge!
FILED UNDER: e-mail · just wondering · money · New Jersey · rebuttals · roommates
September 30th, 2007 · 99 comments
Presenting, for your analysis, this anonymous contribution from a hair salon in Bettendorf, Iowa (pop. 32,394). For the scatologically inclined vandal (and for Putz’s owner) the unconscious issues at play appear to be anything but borderline. College psych majors: care to address which stage of psychosexual development is associated with passive-aggressiveness?
related: I can’t stand this shit anymore
UPDATE: Here’s a little more backstory on the situation from our note’s submitter. (Warning: this might confuse more than it illuminates.)
the owner of a salon i work at posted this for the individual that had placed dog poop in the corridor that is shared by other businesses. they left the feces in the hallway shortly after her and her st. bernard, putz, arrived to work. putz goes everywhere with her. for the past eight months he’s grown tremendously, and his massive size at this point has freaked out other store owners. putz sleeps in the back room and he has suburb potty training skills — and his owner always picks up after him.
the landlord approached her [re: the feces in the hallway] and said he was very bothered by the possible health code concern. he later told her not to worry about it, seeing how it was totally impossible for putz to let himself out the back door, take a dump in the corridor, then turn around and open the door to let himself back in.
someone kept tearing down her note, so she added the written message at the bottom.
FILED UNDER: dogs · Freudian shit · Iowa · office · rebuttals · shit