Chris has held on to this note from his college days at SUNY Binghamton since 1990, which I believe makes this the oldest note to grace this site thus far.
The years seem to have given him some perspective on the situation, and Chris fully admits to being the apartment’s “thermostat tyrant,” always nagging everyone to turn down the heat at night (to 55 degrees) and especially over holidays and long weekends. But this note from his roommate was apparently enough to show him the error of his ways.
After this, Chris says, “I did relax with the thermostat nagging, I think.” (The hamster was unavailable for comment.)
related: We ALL live here
FILED UNDER: Binghamton · college life · New York · roommates · smartass · temperature
This exercise in how not to get a job is brought to us by an anonymous submitter in Kansas City. The worst part? Before sending this e-mail, this guy was actually in the top five.
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · e-mail · Kansas City · office · spelling and grammar police
Our anonymous submitter spotted this note posted by a coworker on the office fridge.
When asked about the note, this coworker described himself as someone “with a penchant for an orderly universe and a strong desire to see food mingle.”
related: Cubicle etiquette
FILED UNDER: a little uptight · excessive underlining · inappropriate italics · let's try · office · office cop · office fridge · oh snap · San Diego
Another doozy of an apartment manager note from Oakland, California! Our anonymous submitter wasn’t able to save any of those 14 notices, so it’s unclear if any of them were anything like this one.
related: love, apt. 3
FILED UNDER: California · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · guilt trip · landlords and property managers · neighbors · newspaper · Oakland · obnoxious definition · stealing
This delightful note comes to us from the wilds of suburban Orange County, California. “There is a door at my school (a private college) that is constantly propped open,” explains Amy, a grad student. “Up until yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘Please close door.’ I have NO idea about the microwave burning, or what the note writer has against skateboarders.”
Adds Amy: “How does one burn a microwave, anyway? Maybe they put one microwave inside of another microwave?”
FILED UNDER: California · CAPS LOCK · college life · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · microwave · opening/closing · Orange County · reverse psychology · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)
Keith spotted this note in the employee break room of a clothing store outside of Hartford, Conn.
The kicker? According to the employees, says Keith, “After the note was posted, the guy spitefully mixed the selection buttons up even worse.”
(Altogether now: “that Gatorade is…”)
related: fucking delicious
FILED UNDER: beverages · CAPS LOCK · Coke · Connecticut · Hartford · vending machine drama
Those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter (a GM at a property management firm in Springfield, Missouri) for today’s masterpiece. “One of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “I got halfway through and realized I had to send it to you.”
Now, for the complaints…
FILED UNDER: cleaning · dogs · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · irregular capitalization · itemized list · landlords and property managers · Missouri · more like crazy · music · noise · not-so-veiled threats · parking · rhetorical question · smoking · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · vandalism · your/you're
When our saga begins, our anonymous submitter’s girlfriend was living in a tiny apartment in Sydney, Australia. Due to space constraints, she was temporarily sleeping on what our submitter admits was “possibly one of the world’s shittiest sofabeds.”
But while the mailbox notes were presumably written first (based on the tone) they weren’t actually discovered until after a third note was slipped under the apartment door…
Mortified, our loving couple did, in fact, move their mattress to the floor. But that didn’t seem to placate their dear nameless neighb, who pinned this note to the the building’s common noticeboard…
“Ironically,” our submitter says, “it was found when we were moving out the horrible couch.”
related: visual aids always help
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · Australia · awk abbrev · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · most popular notes of 2007 · neighbors · noise · saga · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police · Sydney
Our anonymous submitter dutifully passes along this company-wide farewell e-mail, but says: “I have no idea what’s he’s talking about. Holla!”
related: the farewell email to end all farewell emails
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · Dallas/Fort Worth · e-mail · farewell letter · office · spelling and grammar police
Writes an anonymous submitter in New York City: “So, my mom bought me this doormat that says ‘leave.’ You know, haha, funny joke, like the ones that say ‘go away.’ Well, apparently my neighbor didn’t find it too humorous.”
Adds our submitter: “Some back story: the woman has lived in the apartment across the hall for 40 years and collects cats and garbage, according to the super.”
related: Really, enough with the weather
FILED UNDER: a matter of taste · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · etiquette · kids today · more aggressive than passive · neighbors · New York