My office is ridiculous about cards and donations. The smallest of occasions warrants cards, money, balloons, flowers, a singing telegram, etc. Last Christmas was no exception. By mid-December, we had been asked for no less than $150 each in contributions for this and that.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was the sudden appearance of a Christmas ‘adopt a family’ program, and the family selected was one of our employees who had very recently fell asleep at the wheel and crashed his car. It was all very tragic (sarcasm), but many people drew the line at putting more money in the hat to replace his giant mystery machine van. So almost nobody gave. Well, somebody was pissed…
FILED UNDER: e-mail · money · office · party planning committee
All I can say is…wow.
(click to enlarge!)
FILED UNDER: art · most popular notes of 2007 · New York · office · oh snap · raging against the machine · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)
One of our regular trouble makers, Boggywoggy (a.k.a. Val in Oregon) took some time off from the comments section this weekend to go fishing, and decided to grab a quick bite at Waldport, Oregon’s, er, finest: The Flounder Inn. Val spotted this note on one of the restroom stalls.
Adds Val, “I thought about putting my own message about Carrie Lee on the door, just for kicks, but then realized that person probably really meant business!”
FILED UNDER: bathroom · graffiti · im-speak · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · Oregon · spelling and grammar police
Damien in Seattle saw this at the local Salvation Army thrift store.
Says Damien, “The kicker on this one isn’t as much what’s said as what ISN’T said. This note clearly had a lot more to it that was — probably by a clearer head — snipped off.”
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · Seattle · thanks but no thanks
Annie writes, “This a note my roommate left me expressing her discontent with me because I would, while straightening up, put her placemats back in the drawer. I was putting away her placemats to clean up…but also because they are the most hideous things I have ever seen [see exhibit b]. She also got mad at me for putting out my old bathmat while I was washing hers. I especially like that she assumes I will ‘trash it’ when I am ready.”
EXHIBIT B, the placemats:
FILED UNDER: a matter of taste · bathmat · p.s. · roommates · signed with love
Explains Sarah in New York City: “One lab in the building where I work has covered the walls outside their lab with candid photos of the lab members. Over time, some of these photos got some ‘modifications’ from passers-by, such as a mustache or horns here or there. (Mature, I know.) Today, I noticed the photos were gone.” In their place…
UPDATE: Sarah provides a look at the note in context. (Unfortunately, without the original “artwork.”)
FILED UNDER: excessive underlining · graffiti · more aggressive than passive · New York · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · office · signed with love · You call that punctuation?
“The Healthy Companies Committee,” explains Katherine in D.C., is the name of the office pep squad led by the sender of the e-mail. (“Ironically,” she adds, “he does not seem to be able to deal with his frustration in a ‘healthy’ way.”)
The hilarity of this note is more subtle than say, a “Thank you Terry,” but don’t be fooled: it’s not your garden-variety “do your dishes” note, either. (Pay particular attention to paragraphs one and four.) It’s like something straight out of a script from The Office.
Don’t you wish you could read the earlier drafts?
FILED UNDER: comma diarrhea · confusion??? · D.C. · dishes · dishwasher · e-mail · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · office · questionable logic · royal we · spelling and grammar police
Today’s tasteless gross-out is brought to us by Christina in Irvine, California. (My apologies in advance.)
FILED UNDER: all clogged up · bathroom · California · college life · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · group bitchfest · hair · Irvine · most popular notes of 2007 · shower · that's disgusting
Writes Kristi in Chicago: “This was sent from our receptionist to the ENTIRE office (except, for some reason, me, until a coworker forwarded it so I wouldn’t miss out on the fun. It’s the receptionist’s job to order supplies and put away deliveries, but apparently she doesn’t like to do any heavy lifting. The last line really sent the office into a tizzy!”
(click to enlarge)
It’s the second-to-last line that sends me into a bit of a tizzy…
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · Chicago · comma diarrhea · e-mail · moving/not moving · office · spelling and grammar police
Brandy in York Haven, Pennsylvania forgot to put water back in the fridge, she says, “and my boyfriend likes his cold water.” Yikes.
Also note the list of tasks for Brandy and her boyfriend at upper right. Um, so much for challenging gender stereotypes at home, huh?
FILED UNDER: battle of the sexes · exclamation-point happy!!!! · heart · Pennsylvania · sig o · smiley · water · whiteboard