Writes our anonymous submitter in Corte Madera, California: “We have a lot of passive-aggressive notes up around the office, and most of them are addressed to the entire office staff in common areas. You can imagine my surprise when after eating lunch and going out for a smoke break with some coworkers today, we came back to find a bit of passive-aggressiveness on our lunch table — not 15 minutes after we had left it. Grrrrr.”
More choice guilt-trips from this office — including yet another “your mother doesn’t work here” note, follow.
related: Your mother doesn’t work here (or here, or here, or here)
FILED UNDER: California · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · dishes · garbage · guilt trip · kitchen · Moms & Dads · office · oh snap · opening/closing · recycling · spelling and grammar police · The Earth · visual aids · Your mother doesn't...
Craig from Nottingham, England snapped these at the pub where his cousin works. (Apologies for the blurriness — just pretend you’ve already knocked back a few pints.)
By the way, if you’d like to go meet Stephen and shake his hand, Craig says the name of the pub is The Flowing Spring, in Henley. Stephen seems like a kindred spirit to Desi’s New York dungeon master, no?
FILED UNDER: bar · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · Nottingham · office · U.K.
September 10th, 2007 · 84 comments
As this example from Winston-Salem, N.C. shows: hell hath no fury like a lactose-loving office worker.
The thief might be depending on the fridge’s contents as a source of food, but mercy? Don’t count on it.
FILED UNDER: cheese · itemized list · North Carolina · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing · Winston-Salem
Frequent troublemaker Team Cassandra sends us a dispatch from her trip to old Montreal. The charmant hostel she stayed in had 32 hostelers, two bathrooms, one kitchen, lots of awkward signage, and an overall vibe of, “I’ve said this 10, 000 times and I’m not saying it again.”
FILED UNDER: bathroom · bathtub · beer · blitzkrieg approach · Canada · drizzunk · excessive underlining · Francais · Montreal · opening/closing · smiley · transliteration
Our anonymous submitter has held on to this e-mail for more than five years now, but she still has no idea what she did to offend the sender. She barely knew him at the time, she says, “and needless to say, I don’t know him any better now, except I have a better handle on his mental state.”
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · e-mail · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police
Joshua brings us this amazing pair of notes from his apartment building in Philly.
The backstory: “A bulk package of cat food (probably 20 or so cans) was delivered and sat in the hallway for about 4 or 5 days. We could see what it was because the sides of the package were cardboard, but the top was clear plastic. (Like what you’d find at Costco). On day 3 or 4 of the cat food being left in the hallway, the plastic had been torn back and a few cans were taken.” The next day, the package was claimed, and this note appeared…
Two days later — luckily, after Joshua snapped a photo — the note disappeared. In its place…
A day later, the response note was torn down, too.
FILED UNDER: cats · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Philadelphia · rebuttals · smiley · stealing · thanks (but not really) · that's illegal
The Coast newspaper in Halifax recently invited its readers to share their “passive-aggressive roommate tales.” (Gee, what a novel idea!)
My favorite part:
Excerpts from a 34-point note sent to a former roommate:
2. Your rent was always late and it was not paid in full.
4. You used the dishes and baking ware that we provided to you and often did not clean them, left them to ruin, or left them for someone else to clean because you were too busy rushing out the door to go party when you had all day off. If you have all day off, do something more than try to find someone, anyone to hang out with that night that just so happens to have a car and is willing to pick your lazy ass up.
22. Your friends have no right to use and mess up our bathroom. You have your own, it’s part of your room. Also, if they are going to be putting fruit remains in our garbage can, have them removed before they rot. While we’re on the subject…
23. Fruit flies. Need I say more?
25. We were quite upset that you didn’t buy us anything for Christmas worth more than $3. It’s not the money really, but $1.50 each, that’s just insulting. We noticed that week you borrowed money from your current fling to go out and party. I hope you did buy a self-help book at Chapters like you said you were planning.
29. When people have to work very early in the morning, like at 5am, it’s not very nice to have your loud-mouthed boyfriend chatting with you all night, take it somewhere else. Like his mom’s house where he still lives…
30. The clogged toilet thing, you got off easy on that one. Plumbing and property damage is a lot more important than rushing out the door to hang out with your friends. Prioritize.
33. The comment you made about being the type of person who can’t live with someone is something you should take serious consideration of. How are you going to continue living your faux Sex and the City lifestyle if your goal in life is to find a man you can live with, and if you are not the type of person that can actually live with someone?” B.M.
Full story here; another choice excerpt after the jump.
[Read more →]
FILED UNDER: bullet points · Canada · cleaning · dishes · dishwasher · food · Halifax · money · revenge · roommates
While Jessica was a college student in Boston, she lived in a five-person apartment with one friend and three strangers. Jess says apartment issues were rarely (if ever talked about directly (there was but one “meeting), but were instead handled through a series of “love notes” from Anne, like this one.
Most of the points in this letter, Jessica adds, were directed at one person in particular — her friend, with whom Anne shared a room. And when Anne was told to “remind people to clean” at the meeting, Jess says she and her roommates were simply referring to when and if it began to bother her. Oh, and the building’s rodent problem was a pre-existing condition.
FILED UNDER: Boston · cleaning · dishes · garbage · guests · not-so-veiled threats · vermin · water · Your mother doesn't...
Meric spotted this sign in melbourne while going to the launderette a few doors down. The bizarre thing, says Meric, is that it’s in a shop window. “I have no idea what kind of dastardly person would steal poor Dave’s bananas, but every time I walked past it I laughed so much a little bit of wet came out.”
Meric adds, “I left Australia in August, so I’m not sure if it’s still there. But these pictures were taken in June on Nicholson Street, Carlton North, Melbourne if anyone from around there would like to check up and see.” P-A detective squad, Melbourne bureau: consider yourselves on the case.
Meanwhile, Sarah in Alexandria says she faced a similar disappearing Coke problem at her office. “At first I tried keeping them all in the box with a large note on the outside opening with my name on it. Apparently that wasn’t enough because cans were still ending up missing, so I added to the note ‘please do not drink’ because maybe someone thought I was leaving my name there so that they would know who to thank (or not to thank, rather) for the free Cokes. Cans were still being taken though, so I decided to resort to the only tactic I have ever known to work on assholes who have no regard whatsoever for others: I threatened their own well-being.”
Adds Sarah, “I actually did lick the cans too, and I was genuinely sick. After that note, I was able to enjoy my Cokes without having to worry. The only person who this tactic has yet to work on is my dad.”
FILED UNDER: Australia · bananas · beverages · Coke · food · Melbourne · not-so-veiled threats · revenge · stealing · Virginia
My office is ridiculous about cards and donations. The smallest of occasions warrants cards, money, balloons, flowers, a singing telegram, etc. Last Christmas was no exception. By mid-December, we had been asked for no less than $150 each in contributions for this and that.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was the sudden appearance of a Christmas ‘adopt a family’ program, and the family selected was one of our employees who had very recently fell asleep at the wheel and crashed his car. It was all very tragic (sarcasm), but many people drew the line at putting more money in the hat to replace his giant mystery machine van. So almost nobody gave. Well, somebody was pissed…
FILED UNDER: e-mail · money · office · party planning committee