How not to housetrain a roommate

July 2nd, 2007 · 40 comments

Smileys can be terrifying.

how not to housetrain a roommate

(Submitted by Simon in Richmond, Virginia.)

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The house with a chimney is a nice touch

July 1st, 2007 · 55 comments

the house with the chimney is a nice touch

(Thanks to Jon for submitting!)

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It must have been a pretty big bite

June 29th, 2007 · 140 comments

“My co-workers and I were in love with this note when we found it attached to the office refrigerator,” says Brian in Cleveland. “We wanted a copy, but the woman frightened us. So we came up with an elaborate scheme. One co-worker walked to the kitchen carrying a folder. She grabbed the note, stuffed it inside, and walked down the hallway. She handed it to another co-worker and stood watch. That co-worker raced to give it to me, who rapidly made a copy. Then we reversed the sequence. Within two minutes, the note was back on the fridge, and we were in heaven.”
It is Ok to steal food from people (I'm aggerating): but I am a MOTHER-TO-BE who starved because took a bite out of my lunch meant and cheese.

So worth the effort though, right?

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Don’t be disturbed

June 28th, 2007 · 38 comments

From Netherlands, the “killing you with kindness” approach:

Message for the roommates: I know you guys have a habit of eating my food. Please don't be disturbed by the little white box saying

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Happy to be of service

June 27th, 2007 · 72 comments

Cassie in Orlando is a preschool teacher, and brings us this note posted by the school’s director. “I cannot help but be in awe of her after this note,” Cassie says, and I have to agree.

Teachers, We offer naptime as a service to our parents and younger children. After all, we all know growing bodies and minds need lots of rest. I understand that the long hours and darkness can be tempting, but laying down on the floor with a pillow may be frowned upon by parents entering the room; not to mention being against state regulations for the supervision of children. If you are too exhausted during the day, and you continue to fall asleep in the afternoon, feel free to come to me. We can discuss the option of cutting your hours back to a more appropriate smaller amount so you may get more rest. If that does not help the situation, I will be more than happy to help you find a night shift position. Unfortunately, we do NOT offer night shifts at this particular school. Happy to be of service, [heart] L

A classic, no?

related: From the Manager’s Book of Quotes for Inspiring Workplace Paranoia

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We ALL live here

June 26th, 2007 · 91 comments

Explains James, “My cool roommate tries to do something nice for the house, and then jerk roommate writes this.”

In the future, please consult with us before making house purchases. We ALL live here. Thx.

Seriously, Team Cormac all the way.

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Wait, what was the first reason again?

June 25th, 2007 · 41 comments

Paul in San Diego says this note showed up above both urinals at his office last week.

If you are not the person in the picture then you are not allowed to pick your nose and then put your freshly picked booger on the wall. And another reason for not wiping boogers on this wall is because it is disgusting.

related: The bathroom-stall booger epidemic

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The thoughts that count

June 25th, 2007 · 87 comments

An anonymous Brooklyn mom sends in this choice — dare we say priceless — example of Park Slope’s well-documented mama drama.

We really do appreciate you handling the end of year gift collection and we know it can be a thankless task. I must say, however, that  I am feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the emphasis on how much money was collected and from whom. I thought the whole idea of giving a gift was that we gave from the heart, no matter the amount. Isn't that what we teach our children? Suddenly it feels like you are trying to shame those of us who may not have given the most for whatever out personal reasons not the less of which could be financial. Please let's not continue this embarrassment any longer. We should rethink the process for future gift-giving.

related: No money, no trophy

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Don’t be stupid (thanks)

June 24th, 2007 · 47 comments

Dan in Miami Beach — who by the way knows a thing or two about roommate drama — bring us this sign from a clothing store in the gay mecca of Wilton Manors, Florida. Says Dan: “Sometimes, gay men are a little bitchy with each other.” (Again, something he knows a bit about.)

Don't be stupid you can not try on the underwear! Thank you BALL

(And seriously, sweetheart, don’t even start with the whole “but that’s not exactly passive-aggressive” stuff.)

related: Ladies, if you happen to have forgotten your undies…

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Hendrix is the cat

June 21st, 2007 · 43 comments

No lols from this feline — just some lovely passive voice!

Our house is dirty. Cleaning needs to be done. Thanx, Hendrix

(Thanx to Megan in Michigan for submitting.)

related: Does the floor have the capability of sweeping itself?

 

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