The first thing I did when I woke up

June 16th, 2007 · 137 comments

The third paragraph of the first e-mail is the brilliant part…though I’m gonna have to side with Michelle’s roommate on this one.

eating my outback bread

no excuses

Adds Michelle: “that bread was fucking delicious.”

→ 137 CommentsFILED UNDER: bread · CAPS LOCK · Charlottesville · college life · e-mail · food · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2007 · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · Virginia


“Servicing over a half-billion people…each and every day.”

June 15th, 2007 · 30 comments

From the Bay-area offices of Yahoo! HotJobs

Those programmers…so literal-minded, sometimes.

can u not uz hand lotion in toilet plz? work-wanks r creepy, thnx

(thiz onez fer u, slackferno.)

→ 30 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · double-entendre alert · kinda creepy · office · San Francisco · sex sex sex · shameless meme-mongering · toilet · Yahoo


May the sanctity of the sink prevail!!

June 14th, 2007 · 93 comments

My esteemed housemates, I have some unfortunate news to report. It appears that our ongoing experiment to see if the dishes would indeed wash themselves has ended and ultimately failed.

(From Midgy in Madison, Wisconsin.)

related: With 17 roommates, it could have been worse

→ 93 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · rhetorical question · roommates · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · Wisconsin


Et tu, Dora?

June 13th, 2007 · 20 comments

Spotted by Ivy from Nashville in the offices of Nickelodeon in New York…

You shouldn't learned this when you were my age, but...Please Be Neat and Wipe the Seat. And please flush!

→ 20 CommentsFILED UNDER: a little patronizing · New York · office · toilet


Try a bite.

June 13th, 2007 · 23 comments

A booby-trapped soup — sans note — probably would have been the more effective (and more passive-aggressive) approach, but, um, to each his own?

STOP eating my soup! I know who you are. I'm watching you. I mixed a little OxyPowder in my soup today. Care to find out what that is?? Try a bite.

If you’re wondering what OxyPowder is, allow Kenneth to explain.

→ 23 CommentsFILED UNDER: excessive underlining · food · Houston · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing


Love, Apt #3

June 12th, 2007 · 26 comments

Quit taking my fucking paper. If you want it, subscribe yourself and YOU can pay for it. Love, Apt #3

(Spotted by Kyla in Regina, Saskatchewan.)

→ 26 CommentsFILED UNDER: Canada · neighbors · newspaper · Saskatchewan · signed with love · stealing


Letter from a narcotic

June 12th, 2007 · 52 comments

This ranks right up there with the notice from an aspiring personal-injury lawyer as one of my favorite roommate notes of all time.

Gillian in Albany, New York points out that the malapropism here (“I am the narcotic one”) was actually deliciously appropriate, because “she cleaned exactly like cocaine.”

Obviously things have been weird with us lately and I have a hard time talking to us and I don't know the right way to approach you or how to say what I want to say to you without hopefully not hurting your feelings. But we're both mature individuals, so I figured the best way for me to communicate what I have to say to you would be through a letter.

related: This room is protected by the Constitution

→ 52 CommentsFILED UNDER: cleaning · college life · fun with malapropisms · garbage · money · New York · roommates · runaway run-on sentences


There’s a bedroom behind this wall

June 11th, 2007 · 15 comments

Robert in Sacramento found this one on the wall of his apartment building’s laundry room. Says Robert: “On the surface, I don’t think this sign is too bad. The underlining of “time” and the “thanks a lot!!” at the end push it over the top for me.”

Please Be Considerate of the TIME you do laundry. There's a bedroom behind this door. Thanks a lot!!

→ 15 CommentsFILED UNDER: California · laundry · neighbors · Sacramento


$10 each

June 11th, 2007 · 23 comments

Says Tyler in Boston: “My roommate stopped talking to me after the first month of living together and only communicated via whiteboard.” Or, has his roommate might say, via “whiteboard thing.”

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→ 23 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boston · cleaning · excessive underlining · money · roommates · whiteboard


Some suggestions for using the urinal

June 11th, 2007 · 17 comments

539813306_cef98ac522.jpg

(from an anonymous urinal-user in Boulder, Colorado.)

→ 17 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bullet points · CAPS LOCK · Colorado · excessive underlining · office · toilet