Love, Apt #3

June 12th, 2007 · 26 comments

Quit taking my fucking paper. If you want it, subscribe yourself and YOU can pay for it. Love, Apt #3

(Spotted by Kyla in Regina, Saskatchewan.)

→ 26 CommentsFILED UNDER: Canada · neighbors · newspaper · Saskatchewan · signed with love · stealing


Letter from a narcotic

June 12th, 2007 · 52 comments

This ranks right up there with the notice from an aspiring personal-injury lawyer as one of my favorite roommate notes of all time.

Gillian in Albany, New York points out that the malapropism here (“I am the narcotic one”) was actually deliciously appropriate, because “she cleaned exactly like cocaine.”

Obviously things have been weird with us lately and I have a hard time talking to us and I don't know the right way to approach you or how to say what I want to say to you without hopefully not hurting your feelings. But we're both mature individuals, so I figured the best way for me to communicate what I have to say to you would be through a letter.

related: This room is protected by the Constitution

→ 52 CommentsFILED UNDER: cleaning · college life · fun with malapropisms · garbage · money · New York · roommates · runaway run-on sentences


There’s a bedroom behind this wall

June 11th, 2007 · 15 comments

Robert in Sacramento found this one on the wall of his apartment building’s laundry room. Says Robert: “On the surface, I don’t think this sign is too bad. The underlining of “time” and the “thanks a lot!!” at the end push it over the top for me.”

Please Be Considerate of the TIME you do laundry. There's a bedroom behind this door. Thanks a lot!!

→ 15 CommentsFILED UNDER: California · laundry · neighbors · Sacramento


$10 each

June 11th, 2007 · 23 comments

Says Tyler in Boston: “My roommate stopped talking to me after the first month of living together and only communicated via whiteboard.” Or, has his roommate might say, via “whiteboard thing.”

539933351_9729cbef73.jpg

→ 23 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boston · cleaning · excessive underlining · money · roommates · whiteboard


Some suggestions for using the urinal

June 11th, 2007 · 17 comments

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(from an anonymous urinal-user in Boulder, Colorado.)

→ 17 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bullet points · CAPS LOCK · Colorado · excessive underlining · office · toilet


I guess that’s why

June 10th, 2007 · 7 comments

This note of course left by “the messiest roommate of them all,” says Kate in Boston.

Dear Apartment — Our old sponge was gross so I guess that why no one likes to do dishes. But we have a new one now! Try it out! <3 Apartment

→ 7 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boston · dishes · heart · roommates · sponges


And the Coco-Pops weren’t even yours.

June 9th, 2007 · 15 comments

Vici lives in London with five flatmates — all guys.

milkgit.jpg

(If you don’t have a house full of cereal-stealing warcraft players like vici and don’t get the “orly?” thing…wikipedia to the rescue!)

related: cereal killer

→ 15 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · food · London · rebuttals · roommates · shameless meme-mongering · stealing


If Goebbels had e-mail…

June 8th, 2007 · 27 comments

I’m guessing it would look nothing like this note:

(just click to enlarge.)

→ 27 CommentsFILED UNDER: dishes · exclamation-point happy!!!! · kitchen · office · rhetorical question · smiley · spelling and grammar police


My sadistic dungeon-master won’t let me call in sick

June 8th, 2007 · 27 comments

Explains Desi in New York: “I work in a dungeon —  a “we-do-S&M-here” place — and not only is our boss passive-aggressive (really, he is, in a more strict interpretation of the term) he also doesn’t speak English all that well.” Now that’s a formula for comic gold.

Although the circuitous first sentence here is pretty great, I think the thing I love most about this sign is how terribly average it is. (No clip art of whips and chains, say.) Except for the use of the word “girls,” this wouldn’t be terribly out of place at any other office. (It’s also a nice companion piece to this.)

Calling Out Sick: Unfortunately because so many girls have been calling out sick we have to enforce a new rule of not being able to call out sick. If you are sick you need to find someone to cover your shift (without taking them from another shift). The shifts are already very empty because of planned vacations. You also need to provide us with a valid doctor's note with a telephone number so we can call and confirm. Otherwise, sick or not, you are expected to show up for work on time.

related: Suck on this!

 

→ 27 CommentsFILED UNDER: crazy boss · illness · New York · sex sex sex


Yo, could I get a cold beverage?

June 8th, 2007 · 32 comments

“Our company gives us free soda,” says Craig in New York City, “but then you have to deal with notes like these.”

(Cue the world’s tiniest violin.)

This refrigerator is not self replenishing. It would be nice if when you take a drink, please replace. Everyone deserves a cold drink. Don't be selfish.

related: But…changing the water cooler bottle is hard!

→ 32 CommentsFILED UNDER: beverages · CAPS LOCK · New York · office · office fridge