Who’s the smartass?

May 31st, 2007 · 23 comments

From Lindsay in Burbank:

Who's the asshole?

Says the author of post-it #2: “The next day, she added a note that said, ‘Keep eating my sushi and you’re going to find out!’”

And from Jason in New Haven:

PLEASE DO NOT PUT MILK CARTONS ON REFRIGERATOR DOOR

(To the left, the original note. To the right, the response.)

If you’re guessing these guys are engineers, you’re not that far off.

→ 23 CommentsFILED UNDER: Burbank · California · Connecticut · food · milk · New Haven · office · office fridge · rebuttals · smartass · stealing


Switch to tea

May 31st, 2007 · 9 comments

This note is like the teenager who manages to contain themselves long enough to grudgingly recite a lengthy mandated apology, but then can’t resist turning around and giving the finger afterwards…or the perky flight attendant who finally cracks when the drunk fat guy hits the call button again at the end of a long flight. Mmm, feel the repressed rage!

Coffee Etiquette: Please be courteous to your fellow employees. If you drain a pot or leave very little left, make a new pot. Don't simply turn off the burner and walk away. If there is less than a full pot between the 2, pour one into another and make a fresh pot. It only takes 30 seconds to put the coffee into a filter and push a button. If that is too difficult, maybe you should switch to tea.

(Thanks to Jenn in Hudson, Ohio for submitting!)

RELATED:

Rage against the coffee machine

→ 9 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bullet points · coffee · etiquette · office · Ohio


passive perfectionism

May 31st, 2007 · 12 comments

Setting the bar high (as spotted by Corey in Winnipeg.)

Be sure to leave the bathroom/toilet pristine after use. Thank you.

UPDATE: A copy cat’s on the loose!

the sincerest form of passive-aggression

→ 12 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · Canada · office · toilet · Winnipeg


Visual aids always help

May 30th, 2007 · 18 comments

From Lars in San Francisco.

Please get yourself a pair of slippers so the person downstairs from you could get some sleep. Try to lift the chair, not dragging it.

→ 18 CommentsFILED UNDER: neighbors · noise · San Francisco · sleeping · visual aids


Boston: a place for friends

May 30th, 2007 · 39 comments

In her defense, Eeka says there were three to four empty spaces available in front of her house when this note was left — two of which she shoveled out herself.

YOUR [sic] PARKED IN MYSPACE!

→ 39 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boston · excessive underlining · parking · spelling and grammar police · your/you're


Passive-aggressive linkage

May 30th, 2007 · 6 comments

mcsweeneys.jpg

If you liked “Paul Gauguin, Passive-Aggressive Artist,” you might enjoy “Passive-aggressive Vegan Grocery Cashier: A Day in the Life,” from the McSweeney’s archives…or any of the “Open letters to people or entities who are unlikely to respond.”

Or you might not. Perhaps you’re a member of the millennial generation! in that case, you might prefer something a bit more “multimedia.”

→ 6 CommentsFILED UNDER: fiction · tangent time


Yeah, I got fired…but that Hot Pocket sure was worth it.

May 30th, 2007 · 14 comments

This exercise in redundancy is brought to us by Erika in Los Angeles. It’s like the note-writer couldn’t decide which tactic would be most effective and just opted for all of the above.

REMEMBER!

→ 14 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bullet points · excessive underlining · food · guilt trip · high on highlighter · Los Angeles · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · pleasantries as afterthought · spelling and grammar police · stealing


Killing you with cuteness

May 30th, 2007 · 25 comments

Michele in Jasper, Indiana says she doesn’t actually expect to see her digital camera again, “but I at least wanted to inflict some guilt on the person who took it.”

If you are the person who stole my digital camera, I hope you enjoy the pictures of my little girl; her name is Ella. Also, you left the USB cable - you're going to need it.

→ 25 CommentsFILED UNDER: guilt trip · Indiana · office · stealing


Four legs good, two legs bad

May 29th, 2007 · 33 comments

After reading apt. 10′s response, I can’t help but side with the defendant — especially after Melissa in Omaha revealed that this particular neighbor posts notes like this quite frequently. Because really, that shit is disrespectful.

Dear Lazy Filth Pigs in #10, Since your little boy is too small to get bags into the dumpster, we now have a bag of your trash, diapers and all, lying spread on the ground in front of the dumpster. Not like anybody in this building has any hope that you will, but would you clean up you garbage?

OK first of all I did not now [sic] that. That had happen my son did not tell me.

→ 33 CommentsFILED UNDER: garbage · more aggressive than passive · neighbors · oh snap · Omaha · p.s. · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police


I swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign

May 29th, 2007 · 33 comments

…but Hot Pockets are totally the car radios of the communal freezer.

Exhibit a: New York City

To Whoever stole my "Hot Pocket": It's not done and not nice :(

Exhibit b: Southern Oregon

Dear Hot Pocket Thief! Stop stealing it's wrong & I'm hungry with no lunch!!! Thanks

Exhibit c: Washington, D.C.

To the individual whom [sic] stole the hotpockets! They did not belong to you! By you consuming said hotpockets you have committed a theft! This shall not be tolerated!

Exhibit d: Oahu, Hawaii

Tried to steal hot pockets

Thanks to Beth at Columbia and DJ Shaggy for their help in uncovering this phenomenon.

→ 33 CommentsFILED UNDER: excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · office fridge · sad face · spelling and grammar police · stealing · unnecessary "quotation marks" · whiteboard