I swear this isn’t some kind of stealth viral marketing campaign

May 29th, 2007 · 33 comments

…but Hot Pockets are totally the car radios of the communal freezer.

Exhibit a: New York City

To Whoever stole my "Hot Pocket": It's not done and not nice :(

Exhibit b: Southern Oregon

Dear Hot Pocket Thief! Stop stealing it's wrong & I'm hungry with no lunch!!! Thanks

Exhibit c: Washington, D.C.

To the individual whom [sic] stole the hotpockets! They did not belong to you! By you consuming said hotpockets you have committed a theft! This shall not be tolerated!

Exhibit d: Oahu, Hawaii

Tried to steal hot pockets

Thanks to Beth at Columbia and DJ Shaggy for their help in uncovering this phenomenon.

→ 33 CommentsFILED UNDER: excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · office fridge · sad face · spelling and grammar police · stealing · unnecessary "quotation marks" · whiteboard


Gentrification is insanit(ar)y

May 28th, 2007 · 21 comments

This sign (spotted by Seamus in Noe Valley, San Fran) is sort of a West-Coast version of this, no?

Liberal loonies take notice. Please do not spit on my windows because your liberal looney views are different than mine. It is not the American way, also it is insanitary [sic] to spread your radical germs in Looney Valley.

→ 21 CommentsFILED UNDER: California · crazypants · excessive underlining · more aggressive than passive · more like crazy · politics · San Francisco · spitting


You left evidence.

May 28th, 2007 · 19 comments

Don’t be fooled by the smiley: this is the kind of note that really throws you off balance. (It’s been more than a month since she received this note, and Kiki from Boston says she’s still shaking in her boots a little.)

Hey You! Look — I know you ate some of my Smart Balance. You left evidence. Stealing is rude! Next time — ask. I'm ok with sharing y'know. :) Amy

related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

→ 19 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boston · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · office · office fridge · smiley · stealing


Microwaves for Dummies

May 27th, 2007 · 7 comments

I agree with Katrina in Ann Arbor, Michigan — the last  ”…etc.” bullet point is what makes the sign totally genius. And, apparently, effective.

Katrina adds, “Our microwave is a pristine fucking sanctum suitable for storing, say, the Dead Sea Scrolls, so maybe people are leaving the shrink wrap on their Lean Cuisines.”

REASONS YOU SHOULD NOT USE THIS MICROWAVE

→ 7 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bullet points · cleaning · Michigan · microwave · odor · office


Your last day of work was yesterday

May 26th, 2007 · 19 comments

I’m all, “whoa, they left him a note instead of telling him face-to-face?” and Scott’s like, “Yep, I guess probably because the night operator was a pretty big dude.”

Way harsh!

How’s that for way harsh? The numbered list at the end is my favorite part.

→ 19 CommentsFILED UNDER: fired · now that's management · office


The Mad Bomber, Act 3: We are watching you

May 25th, 2007 · 55 comments

If you missed them, catch  up with Act 1 and Act 2 of the Mad Bomber saga. Here, the  (somewhat anti-climactic) conclusion:

Through some help of our members and some tracking we now know who has been making the messes in the women's toilets. We know who you are! We are watching you and will catch you in the act. When this happens you will be prosecuted for destruction of property, attempting to harm our business and the cost we have gone through to clean up after you. Its [sic] time to bring this to an end!!!

It appears that season one of this series concludes with a dramatic cliffhanger ending. Will the Mad Bomber be caught in the act? Will Richard G. Sells post another notice outing the bomber for public humiliation and condemnation? We can only hope.

→ 55 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · toilet


CARE: it makes a difference

May 25th, 2007 · 21 comments

This girl is like the archetypal freshman roommate, no?

I'm sick & tired of leaving nice little notes

From Megan in Charleston, who was not the slob that this note might suggest.

→ 21 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · dishes · excessive underlining · garbage · not-so-veiled threats · rhetorical question · roommates · South Carolina · whiteboard


Next time, go for the Fiji?

May 24th, 2007 · 11 comments

This fiendishly funny note comes to us courtesy of Jennifer in Philly, who does not condone the theft of bottled water of any kind.

To the fiend that took my Deer Park water which was frozen solid out of the freezer in the door tip shelf!!!

→ 11 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · oh snap · stealing · water


Meet my new therapist: the cable guy

May 24th, 2007 · 10 comments

Cindy and her friend had a falling out. The ex-friend then sent Cindy this message on Facebook. Something tells me this post isn’t going to be the olive branch that brings them back together.

I am not sure if you are still using my internet connection but if you are you should get your own

→ 10 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · college life · Facebook · frenemies · spelling and grammar police


Be curtius

May 23rd, 2007 · 8 comments

The stolen item in question here? A serving of creamer.

If something dose [sic] not belong to you, do not take it!!!!

→ 8 CommentsFILED UNDER: clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · group bitchfest · office · office fridge · spelling and grammar police · stealing