“I still put my stuff all over his couch,” says Ryan in D.C., who adds that this note is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to his “anal-retentive” roommate. Ryan will be moving out of the apartment soon, but (in a final passive-aggressive gesture) says he has stuffed the couch full of candy wrappers for his roommate to find.
June 4th, 2007 · 17 comments
June 3rd, 2007 · 115 comments
Says Dave in New York City: “I love that this note contains a fairly detailed explanation of Lord Kelvin’s formulation of the second law of thermodynamics….and a helpful diagram!”
related: When you get down to it
June 3rd, 2007 · 24 comments
Maybe it’s the manic use of ellipses and exclamation points, but this note makes me extremely uncomfortable.
Says submitter Erica in New York City, “As bad as it can get in the ladies’, I’ve been told the men’s bathroom is even worse.”
→ 24 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bathroom · bullet points · Comic Sans Alert · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hygiene · New York · office · spelling and grammar police · toilet
June 3rd, 2007 · 21 comments
“My roommate Ian kept eating all the cereal I bought before I had a chance to have even a single bowl,” Dan says. Apparently the Cap’n decided to take matters into his own hands.
If you can’t read it, the Cap’n is saying: “Ian, If I catch you eating this delicious cereal, I’ll kill you in your sleep. Love, Dan.”
June 2nd, 2007 · 24 comments
(from an anonymous submitter in Maryland.)
June 1st, 2007 · 17 comments
re: “You left evidence”, Good Soul says:
In 2001, I solved a “disappearing food” problem without these little notes. For some time (3 weeks or so), I bought some very nice food, put my name on it with a “do not touch — not for human consumption!” sign, and watched it disappear. I also found out about the fine taste of the thief – sugar was high in the rank. So on a random day, I placed a box of very nice sugar treats with the same sign, in the same place, and — as expected — it disappeared pretty soon. That was 9-10AM. By 2PM, the horse laxative I put in the food made two co-workers abandon the office in a hurry, only to spend the next 24 to 48 hours in the hospital.
Nothing was ever said (it could lead to lawsuit). If needed, I would claim the treats where for my horses, and “not for human consumption” — notice a similarity? I immediately stopped eating the food I left behind, just in case they thought of doing the same. Somehow, food never disappeared again. Next time I would use ink — permanent ink — just in case the idiots choose the lawsuit option.
Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded by writing this passive-aggressive haiku (or something similar, I can’t recall it exactly) and posting it on the fridge:
Dear Hot Pocket Thief:
I hope that it tastes like guilt,
So hot and delish
The next day there was a note from the Hot Pocket thief who was profuse in his/her apology, as well as two new replacement boxes of hot pockets. I felt really terrible despite it all, and attempt to curb any passive aggressive behavior from myself.
re:“I spit in mine”, briggs says:
Where I used to work, there was this guy who would drink from anothers guy drink when he left the room. One time he place his drink on a napkin and wrote: “I spit in this”. When he got back somebody else had written “So did I!”
June 1st, 2007 · 56 comments
June 1st, 2007 · 23 comments
“I was out of the country for a week, and when I came back, I found this gem taped to the bathroom mirror,” explains our anonymous submitter in New York City”" (a.k.a. ‘Pig’). ”I’ve since moved out of the apartment — after she accused me of peeing on the bathroom floor and into the non-existent bathroom air freshener, and I decided I couldn’t take any more of her.”
June 1st, 2007 · 8 comments
mike in paris brings us this petit message passif-agressif:
<<paris – 28 may 2007
one must do one’s work during the daytime and NOT at night, or else it’s the police that will be working!
for the last time!>>
May 31st, 2007 · 26 comments
One of these notes is from Los Angeles; one is from Lexington, Kentucky. Can you guess which is which?
(Thanks to Eve in Kentucky and Natalie in L.A. for submitting.)