If you liked “Paul Gauguin, Passive-Aggressive Artist,” you might enjoy “Passive-aggressive Vegan Grocery Cashier: A Day in the Life,” from the McSweeney’s archives…or any of the “Open letters to people or entities who are unlikely to respond.”
Or you might not. Perhaps you’re a member of the millennial generation! in that case, you might prefer something a bit more “multimedia.”
FILED UNDER: fiction · tangent time
This exercise in redundancy is brought to us by Erika in Los Angeles. It’s like the note-writer couldn’t decide which tactic would be most effective and just opted for all of the above.
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bullet points · excessive underlining · food · guilt trip · high on highlighter · Los Angeles · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · pleasantries as afterthought · spelling and grammar police · stealing
Michele in Jasper, Indiana says she doesn’t actually expect to see her digital camera again, “but I at least wanted to inflict some guilt on the person who took it.”
FILED UNDER: guilt trip · Indiana · office · stealing
After reading apt. 10′s response, I can’t help but side with the defendant — especially after Melissa in Omaha revealed that this particular neighbor posts notes like this quite frequently. Because really, that shit is disrespectful.
FILED UNDER: garbage · more aggressive than passive · neighbors · oh snap · Omaha · p.s. · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police
…but Hot Pockets are totally the car radios of the communal freezer.
Exhibit a: New York City
Exhibit b: Southern Oregon
Exhibit c: Washington, D.C.
Exhibit d: Oahu, Hawaii
Thanks to Beth at Columbia and DJ Shaggy for their help in uncovering this phenomenon.
FILED UNDER: excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · office fridge · sad face · spelling and grammar police · stealing · unnecessary "quotation marks" · whiteboard
This sign (spotted by Seamus in Noe Valley, San Fran) is sort of a West-Coast version of this, no?
FILED UNDER: California · crazypants · excessive underlining · more aggressive than passive · more like crazy · politics · San Francisco · spitting
Don’t be fooled by the smiley: this is the kind of note that really throws you off balance. (It’s been more than a month since she received this note, and Kiki from Boston says she’s still shaking in her boots a little.)
related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter
FILED UNDER: Boston · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · office · office fridge · smiley · stealing
I agree with Katrina in Ann Arbor, Michigan — the last ”…etc.” bullet point is what makes the sign totally genius. And, apparently, effective.
Katrina adds, “Our microwave is a pristine fucking sanctum suitable for storing, say, the Dead Sea Scrolls, so maybe people are leaving the shrink wrap on their Lean Cuisines.”
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bullet points · cleaning · Michigan · microwave · odor · office
I’m all, “whoa, they left him a note instead of telling him face-to-face?” and Scott’s like, “Yep, I guess probably because the night operator was a pretty big dude.”
How’s that for way harsh? The numbered list at the end is my favorite part.
FILED UNDER: fired · now that's management · office
If you missed them, catch up with Act 1 and Act 2 of the Mad Bomber saga. Here, the (somewhat anti-climactic) conclusion:
It appears that season one of this series concludes with a dramatic cliffhanger ending. Will the Mad Bomber be caught in the act? Will Richard G. Sells post another notice outing the bomber for public humiliation and condemnation? We can only hope.
FILED UNDER: bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · toilet